Touched (The Untouched Trilogy #2)(37)

You seemed very comfortable in these so I’ve purchased you a new set. Don’t be surprised if your flair for fashion starts catching on.

-A.



What the hell did that mean? I pulled the clothing out of the bag and burst into laughter. It was a gray sweat suit … like the one I’d worn to his place when I was hoping he wouldn’t touch me. At the bottom of the bag were sneakers and a scrunchy.

I grabbed the clothes and went to the bathroom. I washed my face and brushed my teeth. I didn’t bother with makeup or my hair. I dressed in my new designer swags and grabbed the scrunchy for my messy bun, a silly grin on my face the entire time. I felt a tinge of guilt for these small moments of happiness. Was it okay to smile or have my thoughts pulled from the sadness of my mother’s death to a lighter, happier place? Everyone grieves in their own way and maybe this was the way for me ... not to grieve at all. I didn’t want to mope around burying myself in all of the horrible things I was thinking yesterday. I wanted to honor her memory and I wanted to solidify a close relationship with Lia and Bianca. Mom would want that too; she wouldn’t want me to sink into a pit of despair and I didn’t want that either because who knew the depth of that pit. If I fell in, it was quite possible I would never emerge. I wouldn’t go there. Instead, I’d try my best to be the person she’d want me to be. She’d said that I was strong and I was … not as strong as some may have thought and not as strong as I was even a few months ago. But I wanted that person back and she was going to come back. She may stumble a little but she was definitely coming back … sooner rather than later.

I emerged from the bathroom a few moments later to see Aiden walking into the bedroom … dressed exactly like me. I doubled over in laughter.

“You,” I accused, pointing at him.

“What?” he asked, innocently.

“You’re ridiculous, you know that right?” I asked. He was better for me than any pill could ever be.

We smiled at each other for a few quiet seconds.

“I need to check on Lia and Bianca,” I said, ending the awkwardness of the moment.

“They aren’t here,” he said, walking toward me.

“What? Where are they?” I asked, worried.

“I had Allison fly in this morning and she and April are out with them. I figured that someone as buoyant as Allison would be great for them right now.”

Actually Allison was the bolt of energy we all needed. He never ceased to amaze me. “Tell me again … how is it that you’re still single?” I asked, jokingly.

“Because the girl I want doesn’t want me,” he replied, seriously.

“Clearly that girl is insane,” I replied, hoping to lighten the weight of his words.

“I couldn’t agree more,” he replied.

“Either insane or afraid.” I said, pensively.

“This look works on you,” he said, ignoring my last statement.

“Are you kidding? I look hideous. This look doesn’t work for anyone,” I replied.

“I don’t know about anyone, but it works for you.”

“Whatever,” I said, waving him off.

“It got you f*cked didn’t it?”

“I don’t even know how to respond to that,” I said, laughing.

“Are you hungry? Dianna’s prepared pretty much everything you can think of for breakfast.”

“You know. I think I am hungry,” I said. I wasn’t sure when I’d last eaten.

“Good, I’m glad you have an appetite. Shall we?” he asked, motioning toward the door.

“You know … I was wrong, this look is totally working for you. I could honestly have you for breakfast,” I said, following him.

“So back to the pineapple? Last I heard, you were allergic.”

“I can’t believe I said that to you,” I said, remembering that night. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

“Hell, I can. You have quite the smart mouth.”

I was happy that Mom had met him.

“Are you okay?” he asked, when I became quiet.

Would I ever really be okay? “Yes, just thinking about everything. It hurts Aiden. It hurts so much,” I said, as my eyes started to water.

“I know. I know,” he said, standing and walking around the kitchen counter to pull me into his arms.

“I think you should take an alprazolam with breakfast. What do you think?” Aiden asked, after the sobs subsided.

“Yeah, I think so. I was hoping I wouldn’t need one but I guess I do.”

“I’ll get it. I’ll be right back,” he said, releasing me from his embrace.

I wiped my face and watched him leave the kitchen. I didn’t want to feel like this. My self-pep talk this morning was apparently unsuccessful. Trying to skip some of the stages of grief wasn’t going to work; I had to face this; there was no shortcut. It would take time, I knew that but I simply didn’t want it to.

“Here you go,” Aiden said, passing the bottle to me.

“Thank you,” I said. “So tell me more about this crazy girl who doesn’t want you. Maybe I can talk to her for you … make her see the light.”

“Could you?” he asked, grinning.

“After all you’ve done for me, of course, I’ll speak to her for you,” I replied.