Touched (The Untouched Trilogy #2)(31)

Bianca and Lia were having a very difficult time. I didn’t know how to comfort them. We’d decided that they would move to Boston with me and attend Boston State next fall. I hated that they were going to be pulled out of high school during the senior year but I honestly didn’t have any other viable options. We would sell the house and invest the money to start a trust for them. I’d handled all of those types of arrangements but how was I going to handle being a real big sister again? How was I going to handle being without my mother?



*****



I watched as the casket was lowered into the ground. Due to the condition of the body, the service was closed-casket. I’d never see her again. I held my sisters as we shed silent sobs. At the conclusion of the service some of the church members, most of whom I didn’t know, extended their condolences. I’d asked April, Bianca and Lia to ride home with Mrs. Warner explaining that I would be on shortly. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to Mom just yet.

Everyone had left but I couldn’t seem to move. I watched as the cemetery attendants covered the grave with the pile of dirt. I wanted to scream out to them to stop but I knew that was ridiculous. This was it. The closest I would ever be to my mother again.

Once the attendants left, I stood there and stared at the freshly covered grave. I desperately wanted my mom. I never wanted her as badly as I did at that moment. I should have been here. I should have been in their lives but I was so determined to prove myself, to prove that I didn’t need anyone, to prove that I wouldn’t let anyone break me.

I forced myself to step closer to the grave. “Mom, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that I wasn’t the daughter you needed; the daughter that I should have been. I’ll never forgive myself for not being there. I don’t understand why this happened. We were finally becoming a family again and we had so many more talks and laughs left to share. Now we’ll never have the chance.” I looked up at the sky, trying to suppress the tears that I knew were waiting. I lowered my head and looked at the headstone. The attendants had already placed it at the head of her grave. I walked closer and leaned over, trailing my fingers across the letters of the epitaph.



Our Hearts Are Forever Touched

Aria, Lia & Bianca



“Mom, I promise to be there for Lia and Bianca. We’re going to make you so proud of us. We’re going to be so close … the way you would have wanted. I promise. I love you. I love you so much.”

I looked up from the grave and saw that I wasn’t alone. There was a man standing there watching me. I lifted my gaze from his pant leg and continued upward, my eyes finally resting on the tender green eyes of the one person I didn’t expect to see.





CHAPTER NINE

My vision blurred; I blinked several times attempting to focus on his face. It was really him. He was here ... in Dayton. I was suddenly dizzy; I made an effort to shake it off but my legs had a plan of their own. They could no longer support my exhausted body; my knees buckled and I was on the ground.

My dilapidated fortress came tumbling down; I couldn’t hold it in anymore. My emotions overcame me and I began to weep. His arms were suddenly around me and I leaned into him. I needed the strength that his arms provided. I needed him to give to me what I couldn’t give to myself at this moment.

There … at the edge of her grave, I knelt sobbing into his chest for what seemed like forever. I cried for the lost years I would never get back, for the hugs I would never feel, for the voice I would never hear and for all the memories I never made. And Aiden was there the entire time holding me … whispering reassuring words in my ear, stroking my hair, letting me know that he was there … that he would always be there until I sent him away ... and even then, he would still be there. And at that moment, I believed him.

The tears eventually came to a messy halt. I lifted my head from Aiden’s soaked jacket. He passed a handkerchief to me; I dotted my eyes and wiped my nose. He stood and pulled me up … balancing me.

“I came as soon as I could. Words can’t express how sorry I am for your loss Aria,” he said.

“Thank you Aiden,” I replied, looking at the grave. “I thought you were out of the country.”

“I was. Once Raina called with the news of your mother, I rushed back.”

Raina had come to the funeral but she didn’t mention having contacted Aiden. When it came to work matters, she routinely went over and beyond, meeting needs that I didn’t know I had and this was no different. I was grateful to her as usual, since her first day of working with me; she somehow knew what I needed even when I didn’t know myself. I didn’t know it until this very moment, but I needed him to be here. I looked back to Aiden and he too was looking at the grave.

“I didn’t have the chance to get to know your mother very well, but I did have the opportunity to meet her once,” he said, his voice solemn.

“What? How?” I asked, confused.

“I suppose I should say I created the opportunity to meet her. It was the day I left your office … after you had told me you were done. I wasn’t prepared to let you go and I wasn’t going to … at least not without one hell of a fight. I knew you needed time so I wanted to give you that. I called April and told her everything. I told her that you were having a hard time and that a visit from her would be ideal as you sorted through your feelings. She was unable to leave due to her work schedule but she assured me that between her and your mother that you would have all the support you needed. As you can imagine, I was shocked because you had last told me that you hadn’t been in contact with your mother, at least not on an intimate level for years. April went on to explain that you had been making amends with your family and how happy you were about it. So I left Boston a day early and flew to Dayton to meet her.”