To the Stars (Thatch #2)(15)

“That’s true,” Deacon murmured.

Graham’s face pinched in disgust. “Okay, we’re not talking about my sister’s chest! Knox. You have to realize that this is probably just a game to Harlow. She likes that an older guy is interested in her, and she’s going along with it. But she’s not old enough to know what love is—shit, we’re not even old enough to really know what love is—and by the time she’s eighteen, she’s not going to care that you wasted all this time waiting for her. And that’s if she doesn’t get you thrown in jail before that.”

“Ditto,” Deacon said. “We love you, man. Like you said, we’ve been there together through everything. And even though you think we’ve turned on you now, we’re trying to protect you. We don’t hate her, we hate that she has blinded you to all that can, and is going to, happen to you because of her.”

I shook my head absentmindedly for a few seconds. “It’s not going to change anything. I’m still going to wait for her.”

Present Day—Thatch

“KNOX, WAIT!” GREY called out from behind me.

I turned around and tried to seem unaffected from the short conversation in the kitchen as she stepped up to me. “Grey, you need to be on the couch resting or something.”

“I’m not that pregnant.” She waved off the suggestion. “Look, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel pathetic.”

“You didn’t,” I said automatically, and turned back toward my truck.

“Why are you leaving?”

I knew I couldn’t use the work excuse like I had with the nameless girl from earlier, and there weren’t many places I could use as an excuse in Thatch. “I just need to go.”

“So I was right.”

I rubbed at my jaw and sighed, but didn’t look at her yet. “About what?”

“That girl from college. That’s what’s bothering you still.”

A smirk crossed my face as I turned to look at Grey. “Well, technically she wasn’t in college.”

Grey rolled her eyes. “When you were in college, you knew what I meant. It’s been . . . it’s been years, Knox. You haven’t talked about her since, and there’s been . . .” She trailed off, and thought for a second. “Countless girls. And you always seem happy. Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“I am happy, Grey,” I told her honestly. “I have you and my best friends, I have my dream job, and I have more girls than I know what to do with. I am happy. This was the life I was always supposed to have. This was the plan with Deacon and Graham. Well, maybe not to go on this long, but this was it. It just took a long time to learn how to be happy without her, and sometimes it’s still hard to remember how when something reminds me of her.”

Grey nodded and pursed her lips. “The girl today, did she remind you of her?”

“No,” I said with a laugh. “No, God, that girl was a nightmare. But she said something that I’d promised Harlow for a long time. And hearing someone say that to me . . . it just caught me off guard.”

Grey wrapped her arms around me as much as her six-month- swollen stomach would allow. “I’m sorry. I know she meant a lot to you, Knox, but you’ll find someone. Someday.”

I gave Grey a tight-lipped smile when I pulled away, but didn’t respond. I never did when a family member or friend said something similar, because all I could think about was a girl who stole my heart outside of a concert one summer night, only to shatter it years later.





Chapter 4


Harlow

Spring 2009—Seattle

“YOU CAN’T KEEP doing this, Knox. If you’re going to be in a relationship, then you actually need to be in the relationship. You can’t let me get in the way of it,” I scolded, but even as I said the words, I couldn’t stop the smile from pulling at my lips.

Knox and I had agreed from the beginning that we wanted each other to still have our own separate lives. I think it had been my way of staying firm in my pseudo-argument that he was wasting his time waiting for me, and his way of making sure I didn’t miss out on anything. We’d known it would be too hard to stay away from each other, and had decided that if school schedules allowed it, he would come see me once a month.

He doubled that, and I wasn’t complaining.

If I had had my way he’d be with me every day, but I knew I couldn’t do that to him. I wanted him to have a life. As much as I wanted him with me, I was afraid that he would either resent me, or regret waiting for me if he missed out on college and all that it offered. So twice a month was our maximum. We hadn’t said why, but I was sure his reasons were the same as mine.

That, however, didn’t stop us from talking every other day. We always talked for hours, and it never felt long enough. Every time, I could still feel the connection I’d felt the first night I’d met him, and every time, I had to remember why we couldn’t be together. It wasn’t long before the word jailbait slipped back into my mind, and I would remember why we were staying apart even though neither of us wanted to, even though there was a tension that was tangible through the phone.

Unfortunately, the phone calls were something his girlfriend had just caught on to . . . just like Valentine’s Day.