To Professor, with Love (Forbidden Men #2)(75)

“You weren’t ready yet,” Noel finished for me.

“Right. I wasn’t ready. Except when I tried to slow him down...” I shook my head and squeezed my eyes closed.

Burying his nose into my hair, Noel murmured, “You don’t have to talk about the rest.”

But I wanted him to know. “He completely changed,” I plowed forward. “If he’d continued to be nice, if he’d just tried to sweet talk me a little more, I probably would’ve given in willingly. But at the first sign of my hesitance, he turned brutal. He grabbed my face hard with one hand, called me a frigid little freak, and pulled a knife out of his pocket.”

“Shit.” The arms banded around me constricted even tighter.

“I think threatening me with a blade turned him on more because I went stiff and compliant after that, but he just kept sliding it over my skin as he cut off my clothes. He had it against me when he first, you know, forced himself in. That’s when I jumped, and he nicked me—”

“Okay, no more. Jesus.” Noel breathed heavily against my hair as he held me hard against him before he rasped, “I’m sorry, I just can’t...I guess I didn’t realize hearing about you go through something like that would this...” He shook his head.

I’m probably sick and twisted, but I loved knowing how difficult it was for him to hear this. But it meant he cared. Noel Gamble cared about what had happened to me. Not even my parents had cared that much.

“It’s okay.” I twisted in his arms so we were lying belly to belly. Needing to comfort him, I touched his cheek. When he met my gaze, his blue eyes swirled with torment.

“How the f*ck did you survive through that?”

“It’s been a long time,” I said. “Directly afterward, I drew so hard into my shell, I didn’t even care when Zach bragged to the entire school about winning the bet. I didn’t care about much of anything. But time and therapy helps more than you’d realize.”

Noel nodded. “I still don’t understand why the hell your parents wouldn’t do anything about it?”

I shrugged. “Zach’s father was one of my parents’ colleagues at the university where they taught.”

“Fuckers.” Snorting, Noel just shook his head. “Please tell me Zach ended up dying a slow and painful death.”

“No. He became a corporate lawyer, and is doing very well, so I hear.”

“The prick. He probably brags to this very day about how he popped the freak girl’s cherry too.”

I had to smile over the acid in his tone. I loved how upset he was on my behalf. “Probably.” Leaning in, I brushed my nose alongside his. “I wish I had grown up in your hometown. And you’d been the star football player I had a crush on.”

His lips caught the corner of my mouth. “I do too. I mean, other than the fact, I would’ve been a sixth grader when you were a senior and I wasn’t a star anything at that point. I was still short and scrawny and getting my ass kicked every other day.”

“I still would’ve preferred you over him, any day.” Leaning in, I kissed him briefly on the nose.

“Then I guess it’s a good thing you have me. I’m all yours, Aspen Kavanagh. And if Corporate Lawyer Zach ever comes near you again, I’ll kill him. I will literally snap his neck.”

Grinning, I kissed his lips this time. It was on the tip of my tongue to say, “I love you,” in a soft dreamy sigh. But then I realized what I was about to blurt out. Swallowing down the words, I hooked my arms around his neck and rolled us until he was on top of me, pinning me to the bed. “Make love to me,” I demanded instead.

His grin was cocky and pleased. “Yes, ma’am,” he answered as his mouth descended toward mine.





CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE




“Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.”- Benjamin Franklin



NOEL



And so I started an illicit affair with my literature professor. Except it didn’t feel illicit. In my book, it wasn’t dirty, or wrong, or in any way shameful. It was the purest relationship I’d ever had with anyone.

I hated that we had to keep it secret, but I had to admit, I loved hoarding her all to myself. She showed me the parts of her no one else got to see. She opened up and talked, and in return, I talked too.

Our nights together were always short and never lasted long enough. I usually had to wait until late, after work, until I could go see her. Then I woke at the butt crack of dawn for training. I hated leaving her bed while she was still warm and sleeping, all curled up and beautiful under the covers. I just wanted to crawl back in with her and stay there the entire day.

But what I despised most was spotting her on campus. It was more difficult than I could’ve ever imagined to walk by the woman I’d just spent the night with and couldn’t wait to spend the night with again without even acknowledging her. I also loathed hearing people bash her because she graded so strictly. I couldn’t defend her. I couldn’t kick their ass. Everyone still assumed I didn’t like her.

And I really despised not being able to tell other girls who hit on me that I was no longer available. It was strange. I’d never even considered being a one-woman kind of guy. But now that I was, I didn’t miss the other way. I was so obsessed with Aspen I didn’t even want anyone else.