To Professor, with Love (Forbidden Men #2)(58)

“You’d lose your funding and have to leave Ellamore entirely,” I finished for him.

“Right,” he said with the faintest tremor in his voice.

I closed my eyes. “Well, I assure you that I’m not going to go to your coach and tell him—”

“I know that,” he muttered, clearly irritated. “That’s not why I’m here.”

Flickering my lashes open, I frowned at him, confused. “Then why did you come here?”

“Because...because I wanted to see you,” he rushed the words as if saying them fast would give him the courage to mean them.

I blurted out a startled, nervous, confused laugh. “I’m sorry but...you just told me the risk for us has just doubled. This would affect both of our lives now, Noel, not to mention what it’d do to your brothers and sister, who are counting on you.”

“I know.” He groaned and gnashed his teeth. “You just had to mention them, didn’t you?”

“Well, someone has to. And since I’m the one in the position of authority, I should be the one to take responsibility and say no. We’ve already gone too far. It stops here.”

“No. Just listen to me. Please.” The desperation in his voice tore me up. I hated knowing I was causing him misery. “I let you go on Tuesday because you were the only one who’d pay the consequences if anything happened. I didn’t like that. But now...now, we’d both be putting in the same risk. I have just as much to lose as you do. So...we have equal footing.”

With a high-strung laugh, I shook my head. “You’re not making any sense. How could you even suggest...I mean, after you just completely spelled out the consequences for both of us?”

“Because I do know the consequences. I know exactly what would happen if we started something and were caught. But now...now I want to know the consequences if we didn’t do anything.”

“Noel,” I whispered. He must’ve heard the rejection in my voice because he was quick to cut me off.

“I’ve been going crazy, Aspen. My sister calls daily with problem after problem. My mom hasn’t been home in weeks, and it’s making me feel like the guiltiest piece of shit because I’m not there for them. Meanwhile, I’ve been working my ass off every night to make enough money to help them, while trying to keep my grades up and...and everyone around here has completely different expectations of me, thinking I’m some carefree football hero who has nothing to worry about except the next game or keeping myself in shape, or which girl I’m going to take home tonight. You’re the only person who understands everything, both sides. And I...I feel things for you, like there’s this connection with you. I...f*ck, I don’t know how to say this. You know how much I suck at putting words together.”

I hugged my knees tighter to my chest because it felt like my heart wanted to explode out of my ribs. Telling myself to keep quiet, I said, “You’re doing a fair job so far.”

He glanced at me, and his eyes swirled with emotion as his lips tipped with pleasure. “It’s not just physical,” he said. “I mean, sure, the chemistry is like, pow. But I just...I like being around you. I like that you know...me. And I like learning about you. I just...I want to know what we’d be like, what we’d be missing if we did nothing. I want to know if maybe there’s...more. What if...f*ck, I don’t know. What if it’s worth risking everything to be together?”

It didn’t seem possible that anyone wanted to even consider such a risk for me. Rita, whom I loved like a mother, certainly hadn’t felt that strongly for me. She’d never risked her career or her family for my benefit. So hearing Noel say what he’d just said completely melted my defenses. Torn, I bit my lip and glanced at him. And, damn, his eyes were pleading.

“I’ve had a really shitty couple weeks,” he said. “I’m tired and stressed, and this is the first day I’ve had off in a long time. But all I want to do is spend it with you.” Lifting both hands in a sign of surrender, he shook his head. “No funny business, I swear. I won’t even mention sex. I just I want to be around you. We’ll keep it completely platonic.”

I told myself I had to be the stupidest girl on the planet just before I asked, “What did you have in mind?”

His body sagged as if the relief had been overbearing. But then he grinned. “There’s this park on the edge of a river one of my teammates took me to during my freshman year. It’s about an hour away from here. No one would recognize us, and we’d be out in the open where I wouldn’t be tempted into trying anything...untoward.” He lifted his eyebrows and sent me an ornery grin. “So, what do you say? Give me just one day?”





CHAPTER EIGHTEEN




“There's nothing more intimate in life than simply being understood. And understanding someone else.” - Brad Meltzer, The Inner Circle



NOEL



“This place is amazing.”

The awe in Aspen’s voice made me grin across the cab of Ten’s truck as I parked at the edge of the grounds in the visitors’ parking area. “I had a feeling you’d like it.”

A long sloped lawn extended before us before dropping down steeply into the banks of the river. The grass was short and green; patches were beginning to grow, promising new vegetation.