To Professor, with Love (Forbidden Men #2)(44)

“What the hell are you doing here?” I hissed in way too guilty of a tone.

He stepped inside and shut the door, sending my heart crashing against my ribs in a panic, like a frightened bird desperate to escape its cage. I made a sound of denial in the back of my throat, but that was all I could manage.

“I came to talk about what happened...”

I gasped and crushed my hand to my heaving chest. He wouldn’t dare. Not here. Not about that.

“Between us,” he continued, “on Saturday night.”

Okay, so he dared.

But the worst part was how he looked as he dared. I felt ragged and raw, unsettled to my very core. And he looked utterly amazing. His dark hair remained fashionably messy as if he’d finger-combed it before leaving the house. His blue eyes with that precious hint of lavender were bright and alert, full of vivacity. And his body. Sweet mercy, I was freshly reminded how it had felt against mine, caging me to my bed as his mouth absolutely leveled me.

Rattled by the physical aspect of my attraction and unhinged over the fact he wanted to discuss the worst thing I’d ever done out in the open, in my office, I stared at him through eyes that refused to blink. But my vision went gray around the edges. God, I hoped I didn’t pass out.

Wait, maybe passing out would help me avoid this conversation. Would it be too childish to hold my breath right now?

“What’re your plans then, Mr. Gamble?” I demanded, horrified to realize I couldn’t control how quickly my breathing had picked up. “Blackmail me? Threaten to tell the administration that I came onto you in my drunken state if I don’t give you an A?”

His mouth fell open. “Wow.” He let out a short hard laugh. “But...” Running his fingers through his hair, he barked out another cynical sound. “Wow. You honestly think I’m that big of an *, don’t you? I just came here to make sure you were okay.”

Immediately realizing I was wrong by the way his eyes glimmered with—what was that, pain?—I gulped down my shame. No way could he fake such emotion.

Lowering my gaze, I held my breath as the idea of hurting him ripped me open. “I don’t... That’s not... You aren’t...”

“Breathe,” he commanded softly.

Surprisingly, I did, sucking in air, my body unconsciously following his commands and easing the tightness in my muscles that had been there all day. When I looked up, I opened my mouth to apologize for my accusations, but nothing came out.

“So, I’m guessing you’re not,” he said, lifting his eyebrows, “okay, that is.”

“Of course I’m not okay!” I exploded with a harsh whisper before glancing toward the closed door. “I got totally wasted and hit on one of my students.” Flapping my hands to show him just how okay I wasn’t, I hissed, “I’m completely wigging out right now.”

Noel did the worst thing he could possibly do. He cracked a smile. “God, you’re cute when you wig out.”

“Noel!” I screeched, scandalized by how well he was taking this. His blasé attitude only unsettled me more.

“Right.” Turning serious, he nodded and cleared his throat before he blew out a deflated breath. “So, what’re we going to do?”

The way he said “we” stirred up an emotion that almost brought tears to my eyes. I don’t think anyone had ever used that word on me before. Not a parent, or friend, or...anyone. I’d always done everything on my own. Being part of a team, a pair—God, it was what I’d always wanted. But being a part of anything with him was wrong.

Blinking rapidly, I tried to control the racing of my heart by breathing deeply. Purposefully. “Well,” I said and took one more deep breath. “The right thing to do would be to confess. So, if you want to tell the dean of the English department what I did to you, so there are no secrets or lies, I...I’ll understand. I can go with you right now, if you’d like.”

“I don’t—” He dodged in front of me to block my way to the door as if he feared I’d dart past him to go talk to Frenetti without his approval. “I mean, whoa. Hey.” He gave a nervous laugh and lifted his hands. It reminded of me of an animal whisperer trying to calm a scared, cornered creature. “There’s no reason to do that. No one saw us. No one knows. And you certainly don’t need to get yourself fired because of this.” He squinted his eyes. “And you would, wouldn’t you?”

I nodded. “Yes.” My voice cracked when I tried to add, “I’d be...”

“Fired,” he repeated with a decisive nod.

When I managed a single stiff nod in return, his shoulders fell. “That’s what I was afraid of.” He sucked his bottom lip in between his teeth in a brooding gesture. It really was too bad he looked so yummy doing it. I just wanted to— Gah! I had to stop thinking that way.

“So, what do you think?” I found the courage to ask, since I really did like thinking in this collaborative “we” term.

He looked up, his eyes startled. “About what?”

I swallowed, flushing. “About what we should do.”

“Oh.” He exhaled softly. “Uh...” His gaze slid over me, heating as if he remembered how my skin had felt under his hands. The look he sent me said exactly what he wanted to do. The fervor that passed through me as his stare traveled down my form made my nipples bead up, tight and tingly.