Thrown Down (Made in Jersey #2)(8)

Vaughn’s step was purposeful as he left the office, shoebox wedged in the crook of his elbow.





Chapter Four


Vaughn watched River from across the street, wondering why the hell she was eating lunch by herself. Could have been worse. She could have been sharing a homemade sandwich with a man. As had been proven that morning, jealousy was the kind of emotion that didn’t give a damn about rights. On days when coping with memories of being overseas, memories of River, got too thick and bunched up around his neck, sometimes demons crept in. One such demon in particular was the image of her in the arms of another man, almost as if his subconscious wanted to push him that final inch into madness.

Dangerous. Dangerous to think of River as his. When he’d left her crying out for him forty-nine months and four days ago, he’d relinquished any claim on her personal life. A fact that needed remembering.

There were several reasons why he’d left River behind, one of them being his fear he would keep her from reaching the potential she’d been born with. Staying in Hook after her high school graduation, wasting two years attending night classes and working at the factory… Staying in this second rate town for him. The guilt had driven him crazy.

He’d joined the army after her twentieth birthday in the hope—which he could see now had been subconscious—that River would see reason and go make a better life in the time he was gone. Go to a real college. Hell, she’d had the grades, the tuition money set aside by her parents. What had been holding her back?

Vaughn. Him. A fist-fighting, vehicle-boosting delinquent turned part-time mechanic. Not worth her time. Not even worth her notice. And all that…all that had been before he’d come back from overseas with a head full of screams and bomb blasts. Before the army, he’d been beneath River. But after serving, he’d been cancerous.

I’m not bringing a man with a habit of leaving into my daughter’s life.

If he wanted the chance to become a father, he would have to backburner his feelings for River. Hell, he had zero business trying to recapture their relationship anyway. None. God, on top of ruining her youth, he’d left her high and dry as an adult. If she allowed him the chance to break the cycle his parents had created, he’d need to be grateful. Wanting more and being denied would be murder.

Unfortunately, the man who’d been compelled closer, always closer, to her in high school—the man who’d dared to touch her magic—felt hollow and restless watching her eat alone.

“Shit,” he muttered, climbing out of his truck. From her perch on the hood of her car, River jolted, then grew very still when she saw him approaching—the exact opposite of the circus performance happening live in his stomach. Goddammit, even in her factory jumpsuit, goggle marks on her forehead, she was sunshine breaking through storm clouds. Had it only been a matter of hours since they’d parted ways? “All the popular kids must be sick today for the class president to be eating by herself.”

River set her sandwich down on the plastic bag in her lap. Carefully, gently, the way she’d always done everything. Until they got kissing, he silently amended. Nothing careful or gentle about what happened when their mouths met.

Stop fantasizing about something you can’t have and never deserved.

“I’m not class president anymore,” she said after a beat. “Anyway, I like the quiet.”

“You used to hate it.”

“No.” She shook her head. “I hated it when you were quiet. When I couldn’t figure out what you would do or say next, or what you were thinking about.”

“You.” He swallowed, berating himself for the slip but unable to hold everything inside when she—the one who haunted him every moment of the day—was right there. “It was always about you.”

River shot him a stormy look, before unfolding her legs and sliding off the hood, making it necessary for Vaughn to swallow a groan. Hadn’t he taken her once on that hood? Yes. He had, but she’d been facing the windshield. Jesus. “Why are you here, Vaughn? I already said everything that needed to be said this morning.”

Hell if I can stay away. I never could. “I didn’t like how lonely you looked sitting here.” Based on her startled expression, he’d said way too much. Again. “Just thought I’d give you some company.”

A car passed behind them on the street, music blaring through the rolled down windows, while River watched him. “I meant, why exactly are you in Hook?” She lifted a hand and let it drop. “Coming back here…what are you hoping to accomplish?”

There was too much history between them. Good, bad, and ugly. Lying was useless where River was concerned, and with her raising their child alone, the respect he’d already felt toward her had increased tenfold. “I heard you loud and clear this morning. About my leaving. I’ll own that. But I’m Marcy’s father, and I deserve the chance to meet her.” He stepped closer, a ruthless shot of pain spearing him in the chest when she edged away. “On your terms, River. Your terms.”

Her nose started to turn red, a sure sign she was getting upset. Lord, he hadn’t considered the prospect of her crying. The last time he’d made her cry, forty-nine months’ worth of nightmares and cold sweats had been born. Please not again.

“What am I supposed to tell her? Who are you?” She blew out a breath. “If I tell her the truth, she’ll be crushed when you go away.”