Thrown Down (Made in Jersey #2)(44)

And the climax hurtling toward him brought uncontrolled speech to his lips, aggression to his hands and pummeling body. “You never stopped being mine. I need you…mine. River. It hurts and it feels so f*cking good.” He twisted his fingers in her hair and pulled. “Keep your goddamn thighs open.”

The moment her * seized around him, Vaughn’s muscle control vanished, leaving his upper half draped over River as his hips gave their final, uneven drives, pleasure flooding out and shaking him to the core of his being, finally leaving him replete. At some point, his arms had banded beneath River, holding her steady as their heartbeats eventually slowed.

“I know we can’t sleep in the same bed yet,” he said against her shoulder. “But…just let me hold you here a while, huh?”

When she nodded, he blew out the breath he’d been holding and laid them down on the couch, turning River so she could tuck her head beneath his chin, feet between his calves. The smoothness of her palms traced up and down through his chest hair, and God, the world finally made sense again in that moment. “Thank you for coming with me. Seeing you and Marcy in the crowd…”

After a beat, River spoke into the hanging silence. “That man you were on the stage today…that hero. That’s how I always saw you.” She laid a kiss in the center of his chest. “I just hope you see yourself that way now.”

Vaughn hooked the arm River was using as a headrest and crooked the elbow behind her neck, crushing her close, lips lingering on her forehead. Speaking was too difficult, so he used his breath, his mouth in her hair to show her what he couldn’t say out loud, hoping all the while that her faith, teamed with his unshakable love, would be enough to keep them from breaking apart again. Because not everyone saw him as the man who’d been honored that night. Some people—namely River’s father—would only ever see him as gutter trash that had no place beside River. There was a test coming, Vaughn could feel it. He just hoped his burgeoning self-worth—still tenuous at best—would be enough to withstand whatever came their way. It had to be. Because if he lost River twice, he might as well have died back on the battlefield.

“Vaughn?” River’s breath drifted over his throat. “You’ve gone all tense on me.”

He forced his muscles to relax. “I’m just thinking about how much I hate sleeping without you.”

She nuzzled her face beneath his chin. “Soon.”

Please God. Let that be the case.





Chapter Eighteen


River woke before Marcy—a first—due to a relentless buzz saw whirring at the back of her skull. She couldn’t quite give a name to what was causing the anxiety, only knew the idea of returning to Hook didn’t bring the sense of comfort it should. Guilt crept in when an image of her father rose like a harbinger. She shouldn’t feel that way about the man who’d raised her. He was a good man who cared for his family. But something was off. Just a quick call to check in…and I’ll feel better.

With Vaughn asleep in the second room, door closed, River unhooked her cell phone from the charger and snuck out into the hallway. Knowing her father would be on the fishing trip, she dialed his mobile, frowning when it went to voicemail. After leaving a quick message to return her call, River resolved to try him again later. Just as she turned to reenter the room, Vaughn appeared in the doorway, barefoot in low-slung jeans. “Hey.” He nodded at the phone, completely unaware he’d spiked her libido like a football. “Who’re you calling?”

Why did she have this sudden sense of being…disloyal? It was ridiculous. Wasn’t it? “My father.” She lowered her voice in deference to their sleeping child. “He’s staying with us a couple of nights while he’s on a fishing trip. I just wanted to let him know we were coming home. In case he’d returned early.”

Vaughn’s expression was carved in stone. “Why didn’t you tell me he was in Hook?”

The buzzing increased, making her skin feel tight. “I don’t know,” she whispered, wondering for the first time if Vaughn could possibly fill in the blanks.

River wanted to ignore the anxiety that formed a barrier around Vaughn as they drove back into Hook an hour later. After the soul-squeezing sex they’d shared last night, and the transition into family life this morning, she’d forgotten to worry, positive she’d imagined the lines around his mouth when they’d returned from the hallway. There was nothing imaginary about the way he continued to rake agitated fingers though his hair now, though, answering her in monosyllables.

This pattern was too familiar, even after so much time having passed. Vaughn clamming up, neglecting to make eye contact. River getting anxious, withdrawing into her head to overanalyze, wondering where they’d taken a wrong turn. In her early twenties, she would have remained in that holding pattern until Vaughn broke her out of it. But she’d grown up, and she could do that for herself now.

When he coasted to a stop at a red light, blocks from her house, River reached over, laying a hand on his knee. “Your meeting at the factory is tomorrow. Do you need help preparing…or anything?”

“It’s under control,” he answered, barely moving his lips. But he seemed to realize with a double take how short he’d been throughout the last few miles. “I’ve, uh… I’ve been contacting men, mostly guys from the area who Duke and I went through basic training with. They haven’t had the easiest time finding employment, and they needed a chance like this.”