Through My Window (Hidalgos #1)(122)

“No.”

He sighs and doesn’t say anything else for a while. I could never ask him to stay or to give up his dream for me. I can’t be so selfish. I can’t take that away from him. It wouldn’t be fair that, while I fulfilled my dream, he would have to do something he’d hate.

I always thought that when people said, “love is not selfish,” they were fooling themselves. But now I’m guided by the principle that it’s okay to put aside what you feel for the welfare of another—for someone else’s happiness—as long as you don’t compromise yourself. Now I think there is no greater proof of love than that.

I rest my head on his shoulder again. I hear him whisper so low I can barely hear him.

“I love you too, Witch.”

With those words, I let him carry me along the shore, savoring every second of this moment.





FIFTY-NINE


   The Farewell




The day has come . . .

The day he has to leave. He’ll go from being a few meters away from me to being hundreds of miles away. Silence reigns between us. It’s not uncomfortable but painful because we both know what the other is thinking: this is the inevitable reality. The sky is beautiful and the stars are shining in their maximum splendor, perhaps in an attempt to lessen this heartbreaking sadness.

There is a certain inexplicable pain in the inevitable. It’s much easier to walk away from someone when they’ve broken your heart or when they’ve hurt you. It feels impossible to do so when there’s nothing wrong between you, when the love is still there, alive, beating like the heart of a newborn, full of life, exhaling promise for the future.

My eyes fall on him, my Ares.

My Greek god.

There he is, with his hair tousled and his eyes red from the long night, and yet he looks beautiful.

“Ares . . .”

He doesn’t look at me.

“Ares, you have to . . .”

He shakes his head.

“No.”

Oh, my beautiful boy.

I struggle with the tears filling my eyes, and my lips shake. My love for him consumes me, suffocates me, gives me life, and takes it away. His flight leaves in half an hour. He has to enter the area where he’ll wait to board the plane, where I can’t go. We’re in the waiting area of the airport, and we can see the sky through the huge windows.

His hand brushes mine gently before he takes it firmly in his. He still doesn’t look at me, his blue eyes focusing instead on the sky. I can’t stop looking at him. I want to remember every detail of him when he’s gone. I want to remember what it feels like to be by his side, to feel his warmth, his smell, his love. Maybe I sound cloying, but the love of my life is about to get on a plane, so I have the right to be cheesy.

“Ares?” Apolo’s voice comes from behind us. It has that same sense of urgency and sadness that my voice had when I reminded him it was time to go. Ares takes his eyes off the stars and lowers his head. When he turns to face me, I strain to smile through the tears forming in my eyes, but I fall short. He licks his lips but says nothing, and I know he can’t speak. I know the moment he speaks he will cry, and he wants to be strong for me. I know him so well. He squeezes my hand tightly, and tears escape my eyes.

“I know,” I say simply. He wipes away my tears, holding my face as if it will disappear at any moment.

“Don’t cry.”

I laugh falsely.

“Ask me for something a little easier.”

He gives me a short kiss, but it’s filled with so much emotion that I cry silently again. The saltiness of my tears blends with our kiss.

“Don’t give up on me, love me, chase me, but don’t forget me, please,” he begs.

“As if I could forget you.” I smile against his lips.

“Promise me that this is not the end. That we’ll try until we can’t anymore, until all resources and means are exhausted, until we can say we have tried everything and still try a little further.”

“I promise.”

I wrap my arms around his neck and hug him. He kisses the side of my head.

“I love you so much, Witch.” His voice cracks slightly, and it breaks my soul.

“I love you, too, Greek God.”

When we part, he wipes away his tears quickly, and takes a deep breath.

“I’ve got to go.”

I just nod, tears sliding down my cheeks and falling from my chin.

“You’re going to be a great doctor.”

“And you’re going to be a wonderful psychologist.”

I can feel my face contort as I stifle my sobs. Ares says good-bye to Apolo, Artemis, and his parents. I walk with him toward the security gate. When we reach it, I stop and wipe away my tears.

“Let me know when you get there, okay?”

He nods and lets go of my hand. He joins one of the security lines, then he stops and walks quickly back to hug me one more time.

“I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. You are the love of my life, Raquel, I love you.”

The sobs escape me, so I wrap my hands around his waist.

“I love you too,” my voice breaks. “I love you.”

“Please, let’s fight for this, I know it won’t be easy, I know there will be hard times, but . . . please don’t stop loving me.”