Thrive (Addicted, #4)(48)

I wait for it to drag us beneath the current. As I hold her from behind, her tears drip onto my arms. The footage airs just as rapidly as my voice meets her ear.

Lily rubs up against a kitchen chair. She flushes when she notices what she’s doing.

Lily rubs her pelvis against the counter.

I feel so fucking sick.

Not because she failed herself. She didn’t. But because she believes that she did. She knows that everyone will see this and think she’s a head case.

Lily spins into my chest and clutches my black crew-neck. Before I can grab her, she ducks underneath the shirt, hiding inside. I feel her wet tears on my bare chest, and her arms wrap tightly around my waist.

“I’m not coming out,” she murmurs, her voice cracking. “Don’t make me come out, Lo.”

I place my hand on her head and stare down at her through my collar. “Stay there as long as you want, love.” She knew the show would humiliate her in some way, but it’s different when it actually happens.

When you feel the unrelenting judgment from every goddamn person in the room.

I get it.

Any eyeball that pins on her—I meet with the hatred that turns me cold and dark. I could kill right now. It’s not a lie or an exaggeration. It’s a feeling.

It’s a hurt so deep that the worst seems possible.

I want to hurt people the way they hurt us.

“Hey,” Ryke says looking between me and my shirt, where Lily has hid away from the party. He mouths, you okay?

I can barely shrug.

He takes a step nearer. “She’s alright,” Ryke says under his breath. “Lily, you hear me?”

Lily sniffs loudly but she can’t form words. She hiccups, and I rub her back. Her body relaxes into mine.

“Stay strong,” Ryke says, patting my shirt. He looks up at me. “Tell me that was her head.”

I let out a weak laugh. God, how the hell am I laughing right now? The noise ends up fading quickly. “Yeah, it was.”

I barely watch the rest of the premiere, mostly disinterested in what Scott edited. Lily stays buried beneath my shirt, and she clings tighter when they switch to a series of interview questions cut together.

“Do you think Daisy is as sexually active as Lily?” Savannah asks me, Ryke, and Connor the same question but at different times.

I clench my teeth. They keep trying to paint her sister as a sex addict too—or at least a girl that could become one. Lily’s breath catches like she’s trying not to cry again.

This sucks. This whole fucking thing. Shame. Guilt. What more do they want to throw at her?

I stand up, the leather chair rolling backwards. “I’m done with this sh*t.”

“What the f**k kind of question is that?” Ryke asks. He rises and throws a pillow.

“No, she’s not,” Connor says, with more force than usual. He stands and buttons his suit jacket. “That’s enough for the day.”

Daisy, who was texting on the ground, slowly rises to her feet. She avoids my gaze.

My brother’s.

Connor’s.

“You okay?” I ask her. I realize we’ve all been checking each other throughout the show. If something can rip friendships and family apart, it’s airing dirty laundry.

“Perfect,” she murmurs, eyeing the emergency exit door.

My brother leans close to me and whispers, “She’s going to bolt.”

I tilt my head towards him. “You wanna go after her?” Daisy terrifies me. But so does the idea of my brother being with her.

Ryke frowns and turns to look at me, studying my expression. “No. I want to stay with you.”

I’ve been too paranoid about his intentions with Daisy. And I’ve been an ass to him all night. He’s just looking out for that girl. That’s it. “You can go if you—”

“No,” he says forcefully. “I’m not leaving you.”

His weighted words hit me hard. He stares at me like they mean more than just this single moment. I’ve been abandoned by family before. A birth mother—who didn’t want to acknowledge me as a kid or an adult. By his mother, someone I believed was mine for too long.

It’d be easy for him to just leave. At any second. I’m not the nicest person to be around. I’d have given up on me within a few minutes.

But Ryke is still here.

This guy…he’s too good for me. I don’t deserve someone like that in my life.



*



After some minutes with the cameras creeping up on us, Daisy is gone. Disappeared within the masses of people.

We’re in the last portion of the show, where it focuses on the fake love triangle between Scott, Rose, and Connor. When Lily unburies herself from her hiding place—my shirt—I wipe away her remaining tears.

She sniffs and holds onto my belt loops. “That was bad.”

“Yeah,” I agree. “They didn’t even show me flipping off the camera. Not once. Those assholes.”

She laughs and rubs her cheeks with the back of her hand. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” I say. “You didn’t pull me into the bathroom or the car, Lil.” You stayed strong. I kiss her lightly on the lips, but it turns into something more desperate. Her body curves into mine, and my hand clutches the back of her head.