Thrive (Addicted, #4)(20)

“Here we go,” I mutter under my breath. When I look down at Lily, she no longer concentrates on her wardrobe malfunction. She stops shifting and leans her weight into my body. I rest my arms on her shoulders, wanting her even closer, but this’ll have to be enough right now.

Rose and Connor’s fights definitely push away her worries—for a moment anyway.

I’ll take it.

“Why?” Connor asks casually.

“Because you see the world in a way that no one can understand.”

I don’t know what she means. At all.

“Why is that so bad?” he asks.

“Because you can’t explain yourself without confusing people,” she says. “You have to keep all of your thoughts to yourself because there’s no one smart enough to understand you. I wouldn’t want that burden. I wouldn’t want to be so put off by societies’ constructs only to realize that, in the end, you have to follow them. I wouldn’t want to live as something lesser than I am.”

The silence deafens the bathroom. I wear a heavy frown like Lily. I can’t imagine what Connor thinks about on a day-to-day basis. So contemplating his beliefs—it’s out of my reach.

“You say there’s no one smart enough to understand me,” Connor breathes. “Maybe you should listen to your own words, Rose. You sound pretty understanding.” He pauses. “What’s the plan you had in mind for Lily? We don’t have much time.”

Rose takes a deep breath, her collarbones sharpening. She closes that argument and focuses on Lily. “You’re going to the director’s panel.”

“Rose,” I snap. I don’t want to give Lily false hope. She can’t go to a panel and have people bombard her the entire time. She’ll crawl into herself.

Rose holds her hand at my face like shut up.

I could smack it away, but I’m not letting go of my girlfriend.

Her eyes fall to Lily’s. “We’re switching outfits.”

“What?” Lily and I say in unison.

Connor doesn’t look surprised, and Poppy is nodding like it’s the best idea she’s ever heard.

“No one has pictures of me,” Rose reminds us.

“Your boobs are bigger than mine,” Lily notes. “And so is your ass.”

“I don’t care.” Rose already plucks Lily’s blonde wig off her head. “You can leave the bathroom as Catwoman and go watch the panel.”

I stare hard at Rose. She’s gone insane. “They have photos of me.”

“I never said you could go with Lily. I’d tell you and Connor to switch outfits, but he’s too tall for your tights.”

“Spandex pants,” I correct her, though Lily looks down at my crotch. Her cheeks flush. The pants are form-fitting enough to show way more than what most guys are comfortable revealing.

“Tights,” Rose retorts, just to aggravate me. “I think I know fashion better than you.”

“Whatever.”

Rose unzips her leather jacket and hands it to Lily. “So you’ll go with Connor, and I’ll stay with Loren.”

“What?” I shake my head. “No. I’m not acting like you’re Lily. This is beyond insane, even for you.”

“I think it’s a good idea,” Poppy chimes in.

“Maybe that red wig is bleeding into your brain,” I snap. She’s out of her bohemian shirts and into a Black Widow costume.

“Come on, it’s just pretend,” she tells me.

“Just when I thought I liked you, Poppy.”

She laughs. Poppy may be the hardest person to offend. Right up there with Connor Cobalt. And then she adds, “You’re good at pretend, Loren. You did it for three years with Lily.”

My face contorts. She doesn’t even realize what we did to each other in those three years. I used to tease the hell out of Lily. I used to touch her—and there is no way in hell I’m groping Rose. I’d rather set my hands on fire.

“It’s not like you have to kiss Rose,” Poppy says, reading my features well.

I cringe again. “Don’t even talk about that.” I glance at Connor, who should reassure me about this stupid plot where we switch girlfriends.

But he stays quiet.

“So now you don’t have anything to say?” I ask him.

“Rose and Lily aren’t twins, so it’s not like this’ll work out perfectly,” he tells me. “But it’ll buy Lily the time she needs to go see the panel, and that’s why we’re here.”

“I don’t have to go—” Lily starts.

“No.” Rose tosses her leather jacket to her younger sister. “You’re going.”

“Rose, seriously, you won’t fit in my outfit,” Lily says, though she inspects the leather jacket with longing. Maybe this isn’t the worst idea.

“Don’t worry about that.” Rose fishes out her sewing kit from her clutch purse. “Connor, Loren, turn around or leave while we change.”

I knew that was coming.

I kiss Lily on the lips, and she grips my belt, not letting me go. “What is it?” I ask.

“I’m scared,” she whispers. “But I don’t want to disappoint anyone by giving up.”

Without the wig, her hair’s in a messy bun. I tuck a flyaway strand behind her ear. “If anyone stares, it’s because you’re Catwoman, not because you’re Lily Calloway.” Or a sex addict. I kiss her forehead. “You can do this, Lil.”