Thoughtful (Thoughtless, #1.5)(99)
No surprise there. “I figured she was.” Kiera’s eyes snapped to mine, and I quietly added, “She’s related to you…right?”
She gave me a put-out sigh. “Kellan…”
“I know. Friends.” I had to accept that friendship was all she could give me. The thought made my soul ache though.
Kiera’s eyes were sympathetic. She didn’t want to hurt me, and I knew that. “Are you still coming with us to the club?”
Why? What purpose would that serve? “You still want me to?” I asked, averting my eyes.
“Yes, of course. We’re still friends, Kellan, and my sister expects…”
Understanding hit me and I looked back at her. Of course. I couldn’t forget about the charade we had going on. “Right, we wouldn’t want her asking the wrong questions,” I said, my voice rough. So there it was, the real reason Kiera was smoothing things over with me right now. Not because she felt bad that she’d hurt me, but because she didn’t want her sister suspicious. Because then her sister might talk to Denny, and that was the last thing Kiera wanted. I should have known. It always circled back to Denny.
“Kellan—”
“I’ll be there, Kiera.” Don’t you worry about it. I don’t want Denny to know either.
Finishing my coffee, I stood up. There was nothing more to talk about here. I started to leave, but Kiera harshly snapped my name and I turned to look at her. What could she possibly be mad about?
“Remember your promise,” she said, her voice hot.
My promise? That I wouldn’t sleep with her sister? Why would I want to sleep with the girl who was nothing to me but a poor substitute of the person I really wanted to be with? Why would I torture myself like that? And what did it really matter to her anyway, since she didn’t have any feelings for me?
I thought about biting her head off with some * comment, but I didn’t have it in me. I didn’t want to fight anymore. I wasn’t sure if I really wanted anything anymore, besides her, of course. Memories of holding Kiera in my arms flooded me. I’d never felt such peace in all my life. And now it was gone. My warmth had been ripped away and my insides felt ice cold. Shaking my head, I told her, “I haven’t forgotten anything, Kiera.”
The day dragged by with a slowness that was aggravating. Kiera and I were being cordial, but there was distance between us, and sadness. I’d spent most of the day in a zombielike state of numbness—not angry, not sad. Truly, I think I was in denial. I couldn’t face reality yet, so I let a veil of melancholy blanket me. It was hard to feel bad when I wasn’t letting myself feel anything at all.
The group of us were at Pete’s, preparing for our gig. I was wishing it was over already so I could be alone in my room, brooding, when, just like that, the night suddenly got a lot more interesting.
With a smack to Matt’s chest, Griffin muttered, “Oh…holy…f*ck. Dude, I’m in love. Look at that piece of ass!”
My back was to the door, so I couldn’t tell who Griffin was talking about. I didn’t really care either. Kiera was handing out another round of beers and watching me out of the corner of her eye. I watched her too. Wistfully. I couldn’t help it. I didn’t want us to be over. I didn’t want to just be casual friends with her.
Griffin sat up straight, a huge grin on his face, just as a leggy brunette walked right up behind Kiera and covered her eyes. “Guess who?” the woman asked.
Kiera yanked down the hands over her eyes and spun around. “Anna?” she said, stupefied. She pulled her in for a hug, exclaiming, “Oh my God! We were supposed to pick you up from the airport tomorrow! What are you doing here?”
Anna’s eyes slid over to me. “I couldn’t wait…hopped an earlier flight.”
Kiera had warned me that her older sister, Anna, was pretty, but I had to admit, her looks took me by surprise. She was taller than Kiera, curvier, and definitely flashier. She had on a tight red dress that left nothing to the imagination, and her plump lips were painted in the exact same electric shade as her outfit. Her eyes were an emerald green, and were highlighted by thick eyelashes lengthened by meticulously applied mascara. Anna’s hair was darker than Kiera’s, straighter and shinier. She’d pulled some of it up into a clip, and there were bright red strands peeking through the pieces falling around her shoulders. This was a person who wanted the world to notice her. I’d say she probably needed the world’s attention. Behind the primping and preening, behind the makeup, manicured nails, salon-perfect hair, and top-notch clothes, was a person who was actually very insecure about herself. I could understand that.
With fondness on her face, Kiera examined her sister. Then she picked up a bright red strand of hair. “This is new. I like it.”
Anna’s eyes were still taking me in. She wasn’t even trying to camouflage her interest. I had a feeling she was a lot more forward than Kiera. That went along with the attention-seeking. “I dated a hairdresser,” she answered. Switching her gaze to Kiera, she playfully added, “For like, an hour.”
Griffin groaned, and I watched as he bit his knuckle like he was in pain. I almost laughed at his expression. If he could pick and choose female parts and slap them onto one person, that person would look like Anna. She was the stuff his pornographic dreams were made of. And she hadn’t even noticed him yet. Poor guy.