Thoughtful (Thoughtless, #1.5)(129)
“I was—”
She cut me off with a finger in my chest. “You were on a ‘date’?” She said the last word with air quotes.
I felt like the oxygen had been sucked from the room. In all my anger about her stealing my car…I’d forgotten just what she’d seen. She’d walked in on a girl giving me a blow job. Yes, I’d heard several things between her and Denny that I wished I hadn’t, but I’d never seen anything before. I think I’d go nuts if I did. Is that what happened to her? Well, it shouldn’t matter, even if she had seen something.
My composure returning, I snapped out, “So? That gives you the right to steal my car?”
With her chin even higher, she retorted, “I borrowed. Friends borrow, right?”
Well. That was the root of our problem, wasn’t it? There was always more between us than friendship. Seeing a bulge in her front pocket, I took a chance that she was holding my keys there and dived in. “Hey,” she said, trying to smack me away.
It was too late though, I had them. Clenching the keys tight, I held them up to her. I didn’t want to say what was tumbling through my mind, but in my anger it slipped out. “We’re not friends, Kiera. We never were.”
Turning, I stormed away from her. I knew she wouldn’t understand what I meant by my statement, and I knew she’d probably take it in a negative way, but I was too pissed off and turned on to care. She’d gone too far.
I felt like shit after leaving the bar. But I really hadn’t said anything that wasn’t true. Maybe there had been a split second in our relationship when the term “friend” could have been applied to us, but the minute Denny left town, we had changed. Friendship was impossible to go back to once love entered the picture. And I loved her so much…
When I eventually made it home, I went up to my room, shut the door, and turned on some music. I needed to think. I needed to be alone. With melancholy melodies as my backdrop, I pulled out a journal and began scribbling down lyrics. Most of them were nonsense, but a few might be usable. One in particular seared me: You’ll never know me, ’cause I’ll never let you in.
Wasn’t that the truth? Why was honesty so much easier on paper?
I woke up early the next morning with my notebook still clenched in my hand. A half-finished thought was tumbling down the page in an ominous descent toward nothingness. Staring at the sloppy words in the dim light of the lamp I’d left on, I tried to recall what I’d been thinking when I’d scratched them down. The moment was lost though, the words forever forgotten. Yet another lyrical victim of my subconscious.
Sliding off the bed, I started my morning workout routine. When my abs were burning from repeated crunches, I switched to my arms. After I finished with numerous push-ups, my upper body was trembling. My mind spun. I needed to say something to Kiera. I couldn’t let my harsh words linger between us. There was already too much between us.
Trudging downstairs, I tried to find the energy to start some coffee, but I didn’t have enough. I sat at the table, head in my hands, and debated what to say to Kiera. A simple “I’m sorry” seemed best, but also not enough.
I heard Kiera coming into the room and peeked up. She was frowning at me, definitely unhappy. I started to speak, but Denny appeared right behind her and I shut my mouth. Kiera’s lips twisted into a small smile, then she turned to face Denny. “I know you’re dressed already, but do you want to run up and take a shower?”
My heart clenched at the look of innuendo on her face. I knew what she meant by that. So did Denny. I studied the table while Denny laughed and told her, “I wish I could, babe, but I can’t be late today. Max is on a rampage with the holiday coming.”
“Oh. It could be a quick shower?” Kiera teased. I knew she was only doing this to hurt me, and all thought of apologizing to her vanished.
Congratulations, Kiera, you got me back. If you’re going to play that game, then I will too, and if you can take it, then so can I. Bring on the pain.
Chapter 25
You’re Mine, I’m Yours
Things got even icier at home after Thanksgiving. Kiera openly flirted with Denny in a way she hadn’t while we were “flirting,” and I continued dating. There was a spark in the air though, a How do you like this? vibe between Kiera and me, like we were in a who-can-hurt-whom-the-most contest. I hated it, and I knew we were both being childish and immature, I just didn’t know how to stop myself. Every time she caressed Denny while giving me a sly glance, it just made me want to get back at her. And when a golden opportunity to hurt her fell into my lap, I gladly took it…
I was at Pete’s, hanging out with the guys, when a girl with bright red curls approached me. Confidence on her face and in her step, she walked right up to me, sat on my lap, and put her arms around my neck. “Hey, Kellan. Why haven’t you called me yet?”
It took me a minute to place the petite woman nestling against my privates like she was used to being there. Her name escaped me, but I remembered running into her before—while I’d been giving Kiera a tour of the university campus. That had been mildly embarrassing at the time, but now it was kind of convenient. By the glare Kiera was giving us, I was sure she knew who the girl was. Good.
Putting my arms around the girl’s waist, I shrugged and shook my head. “I washed my jeans with your note still in my pocket. I didn’t have your number.”