Thirst (Hellish #4)(35)
“So many times over the years, I’ve just wanted to hold your hand.”
The backs of Baptiste’s eyes stung at Kallus’ confession. A drop of water so hot it scalded his skin landed on Baptiste’s hand before rolling away. It took Baptiste a moment to realize it was a tear. Baptiste found himself shuffling closer. He wasn’t the type to intentionally hurt anyone. It made him sick to think of his mates hurting. Baptiste’s heart hurt, and he was exhausted.
“You could’ve been holding my hand for three years now, if you hadn’t walked away.”
Kallus shook his head and brushed his lips across the back of Baptiste’s hand. “I’m the reason Mammon knew how to bind you to that chair.” Baptiste stared at the top of Kallus’ head and tried working through the man’s words. Thankfully, Kallus didn’t force him to question the confession. His gaze met Baptiste’s gaze and Baptiste couldn’t look away from the pain in Kallus’ eyes. “While being tortured, I tried giving him enough to make the pain stop, while not giving him enough to harm either of you.” Kallus visibly swallowed. “He has ways… I don’t know how to fix that betrayal. You could’ve died because of me. Eirik did die because of me. I don’t deserve to hold your hand.”
Baptiste cupped Kallus’ jaw. “Everything that’s happened, happened because of Mammon and no one else. I’m a man too. I get that we act and don’t talk things out.” Baptiste pushed his words through a rapidly swelling throat. “I understand you don’t want to tell me about the three days with Mammon when I couldn’t find you, but if you’d spent five minutes with me, you would’ve known how I feel about things.” Baptiste moved closer, and Kallus wrapped his arms around his waist, holding on. He held Kallus’ jaw, ensuring the man couldn’t look away. “You would’ve known, I just wanted you to come home. I had to go to bed every night and wake up every morning, knowing the last time I saw you, you were half alive.”
“I didn’t—”
“Shhh,” Baptiste said, trying to have his say for once. “It doesn’t matter why you chose to stay away, you still chose to stay away. Celeste gave me this,” he said, pulling the necklace out from inside his shirt and showing it to Kallus. “It’s so I can touch you, and that’s all I wanted—to hold you and see for myself you were okay. To kiss away any lingering pain.”
While holding his gaze, Kallus slowly unbuttoned his shirt until the material hung open. “I’m okay. See? No scars or anything.”
Baptiste dropped his gaze to Kallus’ chest. His mouth watered, and each breath came a little harder than the last. He pushed the material aside and trailed his fingers along his mate’s perfect skin. Demons ran hotter than the average human since they were more energy than solid, leaving them free to possess others. Baptiste had only ever felt Kallus with protective material between them. It was hard to hold on to his anger while finally touching his mate. His throat swelled to the point he couldn’t speak.
“I’ve never thought of you as weak,” Kallus said, bringing Baptiste’s gaze back to his. No one could see his face and call him a liar.
“Me either,” Eirik said, making Baptiste jump when his hands unexpectedly landed on Baptiste’s shoulders. Baptiste didn’t pull away, even as Eirik’s body molded against his back and his arms crossed Baptiste’s chest. “I’m the one who’s weak. No matter what happens to whatever body I’m in, the gods won’t let me die. As long as there is a heaven or a world and a path between them, I will exist. Until I loved you both, I never realized how much that could be a curse. If anything happened to either of you, I’d be trapped—never ceasing to exist with nothing to live for. I saw that horrible fate play out for me when I rushed into that house and saw the two of you bound. You’re the strong one,” Eirik added. “I’ve always known you could live without me, blood mated or not.”
Everything Evan had said was true. Eirik hadn’t meant to make Baptiste feel weak or unimportant. That didn’t mean all was forgiven, but damn, he needed a break from the constant pain and anger he’d felt for the past three years. He wasn’t over this. That would take time. Baptiste was still furious, but those emotions were dulled with Kallus and Eirik touching him. They were his biggest weakness. There wasn’t much he wouldn’t do for them, even if it meant swallowing his pain.
The door flew open and Jonathan poked his head inside. “Is everything worked out?” He looked so damn happy and hopeful, Baptiste almost hated to squash his optimism.
Baptiste pushed Kallus’ shirt over his shoulders and down his arms. “No,” Baptiste said, holding Kallus’ gaze. “We’re nowhere near coming to terms.”
“Okie dokie,” Jonathan chirped, slamming the door closed.
The distinct sound of a bolt being thrown filled the room. Then, everything was silent. Only Eirik’s breaths brushing his ear broke through the quiet. “Has Eirik checked the rest of your body for scars or lingering injuries yet?” Baptiste asked, as he peeled away Kallus’ shirt.
Kallus shook his head. “We’ve been busy searching for you.”
“We should check now. Don’t you think?” Eirik asked.
“Demons don’t scar, Little Mouse,” Kallus said as he sprang, covering Baptiste’s mouth with his.