Thirst (Hellish #4)(29)
“Yeah, me too,” Eirik said. Baptiste was powerful. Eirik would never stop looking for him, but if Baptiste wanted, he could stay hidden forever beneath a shield of magic. The thought of never holding Baptiste again; it was hell. He exchanged glances with Kallus. They were thinking the same thing. If this was a quarter of what Baptiste felt at losing them, his pain was unfathomable.
8
Baptiste watched Evan trying to pounce on butterflies from his spot among the flowers. There was no one for hundreds of miles. He’d chosen the most secluded spot he could find, in the same field he’d first made love to Eirik, to set up a new home. It had taken him close to an hour to build up enough magic to craft the perfect two-room cabin, transport Evan’s belongings from Jonathan’s, and then set up a bubble, keeping them hidden from sight. No one could find them—god nor man, plus anything in between. It had been two weeks since Baptiste set eyes on his mates. In that time, he hadn’t found peace, but he’d come to terms with his new reality.
Watching Evan as he played in wolf form helped some. It was obvious Evan had suffered while trapped in the city. Seeing him free made Baptiste feel like he hadn’t completely failed at everything he’d touched these past few weeks.
“I’m sorry,” Baptiste said, breaking the silence. “If I’d known the truth, I never would have forced you to stay indoors.”
Evan didn’t slow in his pursuit of a giant yellow butterfly. It was my choice. The words sounded winded as they floated through Baptiste’s mind. Mammon killed my pack when I was seventeen. I was the only who survived. Evan raced by, going in the opposite direction, making Baptiste bite back a laugh despite Evan’s confession. Eirik tried putting me with the Swedish pack so I wouldn’t be alone, but I didn’t fit in. Aha! Evan’s triumphant cry turned into a groan as the butterfly slipped away again, forcing him to resume his chase.
“What do you mean ‘tried’? Why didn’t it work out?”
Evan dropped to his belly and switched to stalking mode. Bleidd was always like, “You need to calm down. You’re very sexy, but you need to grow up.” I’m grown. I just like to have fun, but Bleidd doesn’t believe in fun. His pack is a no-fun zone.
Baptiste vaguely remembered Bleidd. He was the silver-haired leader of the Sweden pack. “Bleidd said you were sexy? That doesn’t sound like someone not fitting in.”
Evan trotted over and dropped his head in Baptiste’s lap. Actually, in a pack, that’s the definition of not fitting in. Pack leaders are supposed to find mates, breed, and keep the bloodline strong. Finding me sexy wasn’t working out for him.
Baptiste swiped his hands through Evan’s fur, finding a sliver of happiness in the sensation of the soft locks sliding across his palms. “What about you? Was it working out for you? From what I recall, Bleidd is a powerful and attractive man.”
I’m not strong like you. I’ll never land an alpha. Evan’s claim shocked Baptiste speechless. Well, there was this one time I had a moment of bravery. Bleidd was lecturing me about acting like a man, and I kissed him. I mean, that took some courage. A wave of sadness overcame Baptiste. Baptiste had been unhappy for so long it took him a minute to realize it wasn’t his emotions, but Evan’s he felt. For a moment, he kissed me back, but then he shoved me away and said he thought I wasn’t a good fit for his pack. I didn’t even stand up for myself. I just left. Then, Celeste offered me an escape, and I took it. You shouldn’t apologize for taking me away. There was nothing left for me in Sweden.
Baptiste continued stroking Evan’s fur as he thought over everything Evan said. “I’m not strong,” Baptiste admitted, needing to be as honest with Evan as Evan had been with him. “If I was, I wouldn’t have lost my mates. They would’ve trusted me enough to stay with me. Instead of hiding from me so I wouldn’t get hurt.”
That’s not true, Evan argued, sounding vehement. They had to stay hidden because you’re too brave. Eirik and Kallus knew—like everyone did—if they’d stayed, you wouldn’t have stopped hunting Mammon until you’d torn out his throat or forced the demon to kill you. As things are, the pain has sort of crippled you, keeping you in the last home you shared with them.
Baptiste shook his head. “That’s not how things seemed to me.”
Evan sat back on his haunches. Somehow, his wolf face managed to show the same excitement as the voice filling his head. That’s ridiculous. Everyone’s heard the story. Even me, and I was a loner after Bleidd kicked me out.
“What story?”
Another butterfly floated by, sending Evan into a frenzy. The story of Mammon kidnapping Kallus. Everyone searched for him, but he was blocked somehow.
Baptiste shook his head. “I don’t remember. Not all of my memories have returned yet.”
Evan pounced on a flower. Well, I remember. No one could find him, but somehow you did. Kallus said you burst through the door like KABOOM. Evan punctuated the yell with some form of wolfy karate kick, pulling a laugh from Baptiste. As if driven by the sound, Evan raced in circles, burning off excess energy building from the upcoming full moon. He said you were like, “Hands off my man, you filthy fucker,” and you blasted his ass against the wall. You killed like eight demons by yourself, before Mammon got the drop on you, and tied you to a chair with ropes infused with wards burned into the threads. You were badass. Evan made his way back to Baptiste’s side and dropped into his lap, squashing Baptiste’s legs with his massive weight. He yawned and already sounded half asleep when he spoke again. You see, they had to stay hidden. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have stopped fighting, and they’re not strong enough to lose you the way you lost them. Evan fell silent for so long Baptiste thought he’d fallen asleep, until his voice floated through Baptiste’s head once more, sounding sad. I didn’t fight for Bleidd. Maybe I would’ve won him, but now, I’ll never know. He’s probably found his mate. It’s hard knowing you’ll always be alone. That you don’t fit in.