These Twisted Bonds (These Hollow Vows, #2)(56)

He slowly crosses to me. “If I let him do this, if I let them spell me so he can carry the bond, you’ll be able to feel him like this when he touches you.” He slides one hand onto my hip and the other into my hair. “Is that what you want?” His beautiful eyes search mine, and I feel my shield fall away, as if dissolved by the weight of his heartache.

The bond glows to life between us, bright and uninhibited, but the devastation that awaits me on his side of this connection is dark and tormented. It makes me want to curl onto the floor and cry, to apologize a million times for making him hurt, to forgive and forgive and forgive. “Bash,” I whisper.

“Tell me what you want. Anything.” He closes his eyes and swallows. “Anything but him. ”

I flex my fists in frustration. “This isn’t about Finn. It’s about the Unseelie Court and the future of the entire realm.”

He loosens his grip on my hair and touches his forehead to mine, cupping my face and stroking my jaw with his thumb. I should pull away, but the contact feels so nice. I just want one moment to pretend that life doesn’t have to be as lonely as it has been, that my future isn’t one endless stretch of purposeless days before me. Just for this moment.

“How am I supposed to trust him? How am I supposed to let you go for even a minute? Don’t you realize he’ll take this as an opportunity to steal what I have—what he wants?”

I stiffen. “How could he steal my power?”

“Not your power. You. ”

He can’t steal something you don’t have. I bite back the words and shake my head. “This isn’t some scheme to win my affection. I am unimportant in this situation.”

“Never.” Sebastian tilts my face to his, and before I realize what he’s doing, his mouth is on mine.

I’m so blindsided by what I feel in my mind that it takes me a moment to react to what’s happening physically. I feel . . . him. Everything. Even more than before.

His heartache and anguish. His grief and his longing. I feel how much he misses me and wants me so deeply that I become it and it becomes me until I am erased and rebuilt with his broken pieces. I so desperately want to put him back together that my hands go to his shoulders and my mouth opens under his.

I love this male. Or I thought I did. Maybe I don’t anymore, not the way I did, but I can’t bear to be the source of his pain.

He groans in approval and threads his fingers through my hair, tilting my head to the side to deepen the kiss. His arousal is potent, and it latches onto me through this bond, becoming my own.

“It never takes you long to forgive him, does it?”

The sound of Finn’s voice snaps me back into myself, and I jump away from Sebastian.

Finn looks me over, but his carefully schooled expression gives nothing away.

Sebastian is panting. Lips parted, eyes foggy with lust. He shakes his head just barely. I’m not sure what he means—don’t listen to Finn? Don’t walk away?

“So predictable, Princess.”

Sebastian’s gaze snaps to Finn and his jaw goes hard. “Mind your own business.”

“This is my business,” Finn says. “The two of you are the business of my whole damn court. I’m just trying to fix your mess.”

A muscle flickers in the side of Sebastian’s jaw. “I’m not going to explain myself to you.”

Finn scoffs. “No need. But maybe you should explain yourself to the parents of the dying Unseelie children.”

Sebastian frowns. “What?”

Finn grunts and turns to me. “I thought you wanted to tell him. I guess you were so busy reuniting with your lover that you couldn’t be bothered.”

“I—”

Finn doesn’t wait for my explanation. He simply disappears. As if he were never there.

“I’m going to kill him,” Sebastian growls, but instead of going after Finn, he pulls me close again.

“Forget him.”

When he lowers his mouth back to mine, I press my palm to his chest and gently push him away.

“Sebastian.”

“He’s always coming between us,” he says softly, but he steps back and blows out a breath. “Is what he said true? Are the Unseelie children dying?”

I nod. “Many have fallen into the Long Sleep.”

“The long what?”

I swallow. Of course he wouldn’t know. “It’s a symptom of a dying court. The children don’t wake, and might not ever if we can’t fix this. The numbers are growing, but it’s happened before— right before the curse when Oberon was stuck in the mortal realm and there was an imbalance between the courts. That’s part of why Finn needs my bond. He wants to talk to the High Priestess about what to do.” I bite my bottom lip. I hate lying to Sebastian, but this is at least more of the truth than Finn gave him.

Sebastian tips his face to the ceiling and closes his eyes. “And he needs you because she’s only obligated to talk to the one who holds the power of the court.”

I shrug. “Something like that.”

“I don’t like the idea of your traveling in those mountains. They’re dangerous. The High Priestess is difficult to reach for a reason.”

“But if there’s any chance it will help, I’m going to go.”