These Twisted Bonds (These Hollow Vows, #2)(127)

“When I suddenly felt you drawing from me, I could’ve wept.”

“Did I hurt you?”

He shakes his head. “No. You drew a lot of power from me, but less than I had to give. I only cared that it meant you were alive. Shortly after that, the shield was down—it fell once you’d killed her—and my people were able to find you and Sebastian and bring you home.”

Home. Yes, here with Finn certainly feels like home to me, but I wonder if anywhere feels like home to Sebastian after being sacrificed by his own mother and forced to kill his best friend.

“You wielded your shadow self.” Finn strokes my cheek. “I didn’t know you could control her.”

“I couldn’t,” I admit. “Not so long as she scared me.”

“You’re not afraid of her anymore?”

I shake my head. “After days in that tomb, it was easier to face the darkest corners of myself. I’ve been hurt and betrayed. I’ve been angry for so many years. And I’ve hated those parts of me—the bitter, hardened, brittle pieces. But that is who I am. I’ll never be sunshine and smiles like Jas. Once I accepted that, accepted that there is this darker, crueler part of me, only then could I control her.”

“It’s so good to see these eyes looking at me again.” He drags in a ragged breath. “I shouldn’t have let you go without me. I should’ve been there to protect you.”

“Arya’s dead,” I say, though I don’t quite believe it myself. “She’s gone. We’ll be okay.”

He nods, his eyes never moving from my face.

“I know we need to get these courts sorted out—need to figure out what the future looks like.”

He huffs out a breath. “All that matters is that you’re safe. The rest can wait.” He hooks one arm over me and the other under me before burying his face in my chest. His whole body trembles. “I cannot lose you.”

I brush my fingers through his hair. “I’m right here. Don’t give up on me.”

“Never. ” Finn presses a firm kiss to my sternum, right over my heart. He swallows. “We owe a great deal to Sebastian. When you killed the queen, the power of the golden court passed to him.

When I realized what I was feeling in his presence, I half expected him to head to the Court of the Sun and claim the throne. I underestimated him.”

“What will he do?”

“Rule both courts just like he always planned,” Finn says softly. “With you by his side, of course.”

“How will that even work?”

Finn shakes his head. “We don’t really know, but Juliana’s gathered the priestesses, and they’re working on it. We all agree that the first step is getting you both safely to the River of Ice so you can solidify your bond and officially take the Throne of Shadows together. This time, we’ll send an entire battalion with you.”

“But the queen’s dead. Do you think someone else is after us?”

“I don’t know.” He tucks a curl behind my ear and studies me. “I can’t risk losing you again. Just let me keep you safe until you’re on that throne. And all the days after. Let me do that.”

“I still wish there were another way,” I say, and he squeezes his eyes shut.

“I was wrong before,” he says. “If I’ve learned anything in over a century of life, it’s that you have to make room for hope. Always. I don’t have any answers right now, but I promise you I’ll never stop trying to find a way we can be together.”

I close my eyes. I’ll never stop trying. I had to be trapped in that dark tomb to realize how much I needed to hear those words. “You still want that?”

“With everything I am. Even if it’s just our last breaths.”

“Finn,” I whisper. “What if . . .”

“If it never happens?” He kisses my jaw, my cheek, the corner of my mouth. “Abriella, if it never happens, I still get to live in a world that has you in it. And I will relish every moment of that. Even if you’re never mine, I will always be entirely yours. Love like this is worth hoping for.”

“Good,” I say, tears streaming down my face, “because I don’t want to do this without you.”

“Of course.” His hand grips my hip tightly. “It is my greatest honor.”

“I still don’t quite believe I’m the key to all this, that I’m somehow worthy to be queen.”

“You are. There’s not a doubt in my mind. You’ve already saved so many. The children are beginning to wake. The balance of power is slowly being restored.”

“Lark?” I whisper.

He smiles. “She’s been asking about you. You’ve been here, in and out of consciousness for a week. Healing’s been slow, but these last couple of days have been less about your body and more about restoring your magic.”

“What about Jas?”

He strokes his thumb across my cheek and releases a long breath. “She’s recovering, but slowly.

All we can do is let her sleep. Her mortal body can only take so much magical healing at once.”

“Where is she?”

“At the Midnight Palace. I can take you to her if you’d like.”