The Wrath and the Dawn(105)
A gasp escaped her before she could stop it. Her heart careened about in her chest, and she felt her knees start to give.
Lie. Lie to him.
The tiger-eyes continued haunting her . . . watching, waiting.
Knowing.
Afraid?
“Since the summer I turned twelve.” Her voice broke.
He clenched his fists and twisted back to the darkness.
“I can explain!” Shahrzad reached for him. “I—”
When he turned around, the words died on her lips.
In his right hand was a dagger.
She backed away in horror.
His gaze stayed fixed on the marble at her feet. “Behind the ebony chest in my room is a door with a large brass ring. The handle is unusual. You have to turn it three times to the right, two times to the left, and three more times to the right before it will open. The staircase leads to an underground passage that will take you directly to the stables. Take my horse. His name is Ardeshir.”
Shahrzad’s confusion overrode her panic. “I don’t—”
“Here.” He unsheathed the dagger and handed it to her.
She shook her head, continuing to back away.
“Take it.” He pressed the hilt into her palm.
“I don’t understand.”
“Vikram is waiting outside. He’ll take you to my chamber. No one will stop you. Take Ardeshir . . . and go.” Khalid spoke in a voice barely over a whisper.
Shahrzad clenched the hilt of the dagger, her brow lined, and her heart thundering in her chest— And then Khalid sank to his knees before her.
“What—what are you doing?” she gasped. “I—”
“Shiva bin-Latief.” He said her name with the reverence of a prayer, his head bowed and his eyes closed in shameless deference.
All the air left Shahrzad’s body in a single rush of comprehension. She swayed unsteady on her feet before she fell to the floor with the dagger’s hilt clutched tight in her hand.
“Get up,” he said quietly.
Her chest heaved.
“Get up, Shahrzad al-Khayzuran. You kneel before no one. Least of all me.”
“Khalid—”
“Do what you came to do. You owe me no explanation. I deserve none.”
Shahrzad released a choked sob, and Khalid grabbed her by the arms.
“Get up.” His tone was gentle but firm.
“I can’t.”
“You can. For Shiva. You are boundless. There is nothing you can’t do.”
“I can’t do this!”
“You can.”
“No.” She shook her head, staving off the tears.
“Do it. You owe me nothing. I am nothing.”
How can you say that? You are . . .
Shahrzad shook her head harder. Her grip on the dagger loosened.
“Shahrzad al-Khayzuran!” The muscles in his jaw constricted. “You are not weak. You are not indecisive. You are strong. Fierce. Capable beyond measure.”
She swallowed, steeling herself, searching for a thread of hate, for a dram of rage, for . . . anything.
Shiva.
Khalid stayed resolute in his course. “I took her from you. Nothing I do, nothing I say will ever fix what I’ve done. If there has to be a choice between us, there isn’t one to make, joonam. Not for me.”
My everything.
Shahrzad rose to her knees and braced her palm against his chest.
“And you expect me to make this choice?” she demanded.
He nodded once, his eyes ablaze.
She curled her fingers into the front of his qamis. “You honestly expect me to breathe in a world without air?”
Khalid inhaled sharply as his hands tightened around her arms. “I expect you to be stronger than that.”
Shahrzad’s features softened. “But . . . there is nothing stronger than this.”
Her hold on the dagger was gone. It clattered to the floor. Shahrzad brought her palms to his chest. “Hate. Judgment. Retribution. As you said, revenge will never replace what I have lost. What you have lost. All we have is now. And our promise to make it better.”
She wound her fingers into his hair. “There is no one I would rather see the sunrise with than you.”
Khalid closed his eyes. She could feel his heart racing. When he was able to meet her gaze again, he slid his hands to her face, brushing his thumb across her cheek with the warm caress of a summer breeze.