The Wish(88)

Jess and Toby clearly knew the drill and that prolonging the goodbye would only make things harder for Bryce. They brought the conversation to a close and Bryce squatted lower. He took Daisy’s face in his hands, the two of them staring at each other.

“You’re the best dog I’ve ever had,” he said, his voice choking slightly. “I know you’re going to make me proud and that your new owner is going to love you as much as I do.”

Daisy seemed to absorb every word, and when Bryce kissed the top of her head, her eyes closed. He handed the leash to Toby and turned away, his expression grim, walking toward the truck without another word. I, too, kissed Daisy one last time and followed. Peeking over my shoulder, I saw Daisy sitting patiently, watching Bryce. Her head was tilted to the side as though she was wondering where he was going, a sight that nearly broke my heart. Bryce opened my door and helped me up into the truck, remaining silent.

He got in beside me. In the side mirror, I spotted Daisy again. She continued to watch us as Bryce started the engine. The truck moved forward slowly, passing one parked car after another. Bryce focused directly ahead of him, and we rolled through the parking lot, toward the exit.

There was a stop sign but no traffic. Bryce turned onto the access road, the trip back to Ocracoke already underway. I peered over my shoulder one last time. Daisy remained seated, her head still tilted, no doubt watching the truck grow smaller in the distance. I wondered if she was confused or frightened or sad, but she was too far away to tell. I watched Toby finally tug the leash, and Daisy followed slowly to the rear of his truck. He lowered the tailgate and Daisy hopped up; then we passed another building, blocking them entirely from view, and suddenly she was gone. Forever.

Bryce remained quiet. I knew he was hurting and knew how much he’d miss the dog he’d raised since she was a puppy. I swiped at my tears, unsure what to say. To voice the obvious meant little when the wound was so fresh.

Up ahead was the on-ramp for the highway, but Bryce began to slow the truck. For an instant, I thought he was going to return to the parking lot, so he could really say goodbye to Daisy. But he didn’t. He turned the truck into a gas station, coming to a stop near the edge of the property, where he shut off the ignition.

After swallowing hard, he lowered his face into his hands. His shoulders began to quake and when I heard the sound of him crying, it was impossible to keep my own tears in check. I sobbed and he sobbed and though we were together, we were alone in our sadness, both of us already missing our beloved Daisy.

*



When we reached Ocracoke, Bryce dropped me off at my aunt’s. I knew he wanted to be alone and I was exhausted and needed a nap. When I woke, Aunt Linda made grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup. While I sat, I involuntarily kept reaching for Daisy under the table.

“Would you like to go to church tomorrow?” my aunt asked. “I know it’s Easter, but if you’d rather stay home, I understand.”

“I’ll be okay.”

“I know you will. I was asking for another reason.”

Because you’re clearly looking pregnant, she meant.

“I’d like to go tomorrow, but after that, I think I’ll take a break.”

“Okay, honey,” she said. “Starting next Sunday, Gwen will be around if you need anything.”

“She won’t go to church, either?”

“It’s probably not a good idea. She needs to be here, just in case.”

In case you go into labor, she meant, and when I reached for my sandwich, I was struck by yet more changes, signaling that my time here was coming to a close, more quickly than I wanted.

*



On Monday, two days later, my first thought upon waking was that I only had about a month to go. Leaving Daisy behind had made the reality of saying goodbye that much more concrete somehow, not just for me but for Bryce, too. He was subdued during our tutoring session, and afterward, instead of photography, he suggested that we start driving lessons. He mentioned he’d spoken to both my aunt and his mom about it, and they’d both approved.

I knew that he’d grown used to having Daisy with us during our shoots, and that he wanted to do something to take his mind off it. After I agreed, he drove to the road that led to the far end of the island and we traded places. It wasn’t until I was behind the wheel that I realized the truck had a standard, not automatic, transmission. Don’t ask me why I hadn’t noticed before, but it was probably because Bryce made driving seem effortless.

“I don’t think I’m going to be able to do this.”

“It’s good to learn with a standard, in case you ever have to drive one.”

“That’s never going to happen.”

“How do you know?”

“Because most people are smart enough to have cars that do all the shifting automatically.”

“Can we get started now? If you’re finished complaining?”

It was the first time that day that Bryce sounded like his old self, and I felt my shoulders relax. I hadn’t realized how tense they’d been. I listened as he described the process of using the clutch.

I’d imagined it would be easy, but it wasn’t. Releasing the clutch in the same instant the accelerator caught was a lot harder than Bryce made it seem, and the first hour of my driving lesson was essentially a long series of quick, lurching bucks of the truck followed by the engine stalling. After my first series of attempts, Bryce had to fasten his seat belt.