The Will (The Magdalene Series) (Volume 1)(191)

She was staring into my eyes, hers looking somewhat startled but amidst that there was something profoundly beautiful in the way she was gazing at me. Something I was memorizing, it was just that precious. And as I was memorizing it, a voice we both knew very well came our way.

“Uh, can I talk to my daughter?”

I tensed.

Amber tensed.

And both of us looked to Donna.

Donna was looking at our clasped hands.

Oh dear.

I was deciding to drive the extra half an hour to the grocery store in Wells to avoid running into Donna when Donna shifted her gaze to me and asked, “Do you mind?”

“I don’t but it’s up to Amber,” I replied, my heart beating harder in my chest as I felt Amber’s hand curl tighter around mine.

“Nothing to say,” Amber put in and Donna looked to her daughter.

“Just two seconds, sweetie, please?” Donna asked.

“No,” Amber answered.

Donna sidled closer. “You aren’t taking my calls and I have something important to tell you.”

“I’m not taking your calls because I don’t need to,” Amber returned. “See, I figure, I haven’t had a mom in a long time, like, you know, she’s been dead or something. So, I figure, when Dad marries Josie, she can just adopt me legal-like and then I’ll get a real mom. You know, like I never had.”

This attack was so brutal, the blow landing full force, I could see the impact on Donna’s face.

Thus, I squeezed her hand and whispered, “Amber.”

She let me go, pushed in front of me and grabbed the cart, shoving it forward. “We gotta get this done or Eath is gonna have a tizzy. His breakfast probably wore off an hour ago.”

This was surely the truth but as much as I didn’t enjoy being in Donna’s company, or Amber being in it when she didn’t like it, I couldn’t leave it where it was.

“I think perhaps we should all go get a coffee,” I suggested.

Amber stopped and looked back at me, her face set, her eyes flashing. “No freaking way.”

“That’s okay,” Donna’s voice was a squeak and when I looked to her I knew this was due to her struggling to hold back her emotion. “I’ll, uh…I’ll just…” she trailed off, looking around and I knew she was going to flee.

Which meant then she was going to flee.

I turned my gaze to Amber. “Sweetheart, take care of the list. I’m going to have a word with your mother. I’ll meet you at the checkout.”

“Works for me,” Amber said readily and sauntered off, pushing the cart like she didn’t have a care in the world.

I looked back to Donna and invited, “Perhaps we should go outside.”

She stared at me and I knew she wanted to say no. But it was obvious she was so wounded she could do nothing but nod.

We moved outside the store and down the walk in front of it to be away from the doors.

Only then did I speak.

“Are you leaving Magdalene?” I asked.

She blinked.

“It is a small town, Donna,” I reminded her.

“I…well…Anderson offered me a raise to get me to stay but there’s a job in Boston that pays more and—”

I cut her off. “You cannot leave town.”

She stared at me.

“Jake doesn’t want you to leave,” I shared and her mouth dropped open. “He wants the mother of his children to be a mother to his children. Although it probably matters not to you, I don’t wish for you to leave either, for the same reason. Your children, alas, likely won’t let it show that they care one way or another. But I can assure you, what they let show and what they feel will not be the same things. You have essentially abandoned them. If you do this in an official capacity, it will wound them in a way they will never forget their whole lives and that way will be a way where it will never heal.”

“But she hates me,” Donna whispered.

“She has a right to that emotion,” I told her truthfully. “And you have the capacity to turn that emotion around. She’s angry and it will not be an easy fight. But it’ll be worth every blow she lands in order to succeed.”

She shook her head before she asked, “How do I even start to do that?”

“You start by taking that raise and not leaving town,” I answered. “Then you start by just starting.”

“People think—” she began.

“Your ex-husband runs a gentleman’s club to provide for his family,” I interrupted her to point out. “Do you think it matters what people think when it comes to your children?”

She shut her mouth.

“Call her and ask her if she’d like to go shopping. If she refuses, ask her to a movie. Call Conner and ask him to dinner and request he brings his sister. If they refuse, keep calling. Text to let them know you’re thinking of them. Ask them to spend the night at your house. Buy them things to bribe them into paying at least scant attention to you. It doesn’t matter what you do, what tactic you use, you’re fighting to win back your children. Do it. Use it. Grovel. Beg. Apologize. Show them every way you can think of that they mean something to you. I cannot guarantee that any of that will break through. The only thing I know is that they’re worth the effort.”