The Will(47)

He looked her way to see she was looking at him and he gave her a shake of his head before looking back to the road. “That’s the difficult part, Josie. A man’s any man at all, the first woman he hurts, he learns not to do that shit again. Good he learns at seventeen rather than twenty-five when shit might count.”

She said nothing to that for some time and Jake had pulled off Cross Street and onto the coastal road when she spoke again.

“When did you learn that?”

“How do you think I got married three times?” he answered.

He sensed he again had her eyes when she asked, “Pardon?”

“Learned early. Not at seventeen but saw a girl, had a girl on the side my sophomore year in college. They found out about that shit, it did not go down very well. I felt like a total f*ckin’ * mostly ‘cause I was. The look on my girl’s face. Fuck.” He shook his head at the road. “Never forget that look, honey.”

“And how did this lead you to getting married three times?”

“Didn’t want to see that look again, got no clue how to get shot of a woman so I find I got her ring on my finger instead of seeing her in my rearview.”

“You…” she paused and her voice was higher pitched when she went on, “married women instead of ending things with them?”

He grinned at the road. “Never claimed to be Einstein.”

“Indeed you haven’t,” she murmured.

“How real do you want it?” he asked.

“How”—another pause—“real?”

“Honest. Straight up. How much of that can you take?”

“You’ve been astoundingly open already, Jake.”

He glanced at her again before looking back to the road and asking, “We gettin’ to know each other?”

“Yes.”

“Are you mine?”

A shocked, “Pardon me?”

“Did Lydie give you to me, babe,” he explained.

“Well…yes.”

Fuck yes.

There it was.

She was his.

“Then you’re mine,” he stated. “And that means you’re my kids’. And that means we gotta dig in there and give each other shit. So we shouldn’t hide and anyway, I got nothin’ to hide. I did what I did, made stupid decisions, f*cked up, I’m still standing, my kids are healthy and happy. Not countin’ Amber pouting and being an occasional pain in the ass, Con serial dating and Ethan mourning the only grandmother he’ll really ever know.”

There was another pause before, quietly, she began, “His other grandmothers—”

“My ma’s dead, babe. So’s my dad,” Jake told her. “His mom’s dad is also gone and her mom lives up in Bridgewater. Sweet lady but a little whacked. She’s a hoarder, doesn’t leave her house and I don’t want my kid in a house like that. Plus, it isn’t exactly close. They talk on the phone. That’s all he’s got.”

“I’m sorry to hear of this, including about your parents, Jake,” she said, voice still soft.

“We deal, Josie,” he replied in the same tone.

He didn’t ask about her parents.

This was because he knew her father was dead. He’d asked his cop buddy, Coert, to look into it because Lydie asked him to and Coert found that shit out. He also knew her uncle was alive. And he knew her mother was off the grid, probably buried so deep under whatever identity she took when she escaped Josie’s assclown of a father, if she was alive, she’d never surface, even though her motherf*cker of a husband was long gone.

Bitch should have taken her daughter.

But the bitch left her daughter to a monster.

“Would you like to, well…share about how you lost your parents?” she asked carefully.

He didn’t hesitate before he gave it to her.

“Dad, aneurysm. Right at work. Sixty-four. A few months from retirement it hits him, he’s down. Gone. Ethan was born three months later.”

“Jake,” she whispered but said no more.

Jake did.

“Ma died when Eath was nearly two. He doesn’t remember her. She had an infection, didn’t catch it, thought it was just bein’ tired ‘cause she was sad she lost Dad. By the time she looked into that shit, it had done a number on her heart. Too much damage to repair. Few months later, she just slipped away. Amber was tight with her, though. Like with Lydie, she took it hard.”

To this, he got nothing.

When he continued to get nothing, he turned his head and saw she was looking out the side window.

He looked back to the road.

Fuck, he was a dick.

“Josie,” he said gently. “I’m sorry, baby. I shouldn’t have gotten into that shit.”

“Life happens, Jake,” she replied quietly. “And you’re just being”—she hesitated— “real.”

Too real.

“We’ll stop talking about that.”

She said nothing.

He drove on.

Finally, she broke the silence. “So, being, erm…real. Your wives?”

Terrific.

Now he got to give her not him being a dick but instead being an idiot.

“Donna, the first one, loved her. Probably shouldn’t have divorced her. She wanted it, I didn’t get it, but I gave it to her.”