The Wicked Governess (Blackhaven Brides Book 6)(51)

“No longer,” she muttered as she rose and walked out of the room.

*

As it turned out, she had little opportunity either to confirm or deny her supposed betrothal to Richard Benedict. By the time she returned from her walk, Javan had made his farewells to his guests and shut himself up in his study, leaving Marjorie and Richard to wave them off.

“I’m so glad for you,” Serena said warmly, giving Caroline a final hug. “Though who will teach my wretched sisters now, I cannot imagine!”

The wretched sisters embraced her with equal enthusiasm and demanded to be invited to the wedding. Caroline actually sighed with relief when their carriages drove off out of sight. There was little sign now of yesterday’s fierce storm, except the sodden, muddy texture of the ground.

Rosa’s hand crept into hers.

She forced a smile to her lips. “Did you enjoy the night with your friends?”

Rosa nodded enthusiastically, although behind the remembered happiness, her eyes were full of questions Caroline could not answer.

“Run up to the schoolroom,” Caroline said. “I’ll be with you directly.”

Rosa obeyed readily enough, and Caroline turned her feet in the direction of Javan’s study. Richard leaned against the bannister, watching her. She ignored him.

A soft rap on the study door elicited no response. She knocked again, more loudly but again she was greeted with silence from the other side. She was sure he was in there and that he knew it was she who knocked. He simply didn’t want to see her. Closing her eyes, she rested her cheek against the door for the tiniest moment. Then she walked away and climbed the stairs to the schoolroom.

*

Caroline found herself both dreading and longing for luncheon. She wanted to see Javan very badly, and explain, whatever the outcome.

But when she entered the dining room, Miss Benedict was crying with joy and embracing Richard amidst much congratulation. Caroline stopped dead, gazing upon the scene with consternation. This was becoming ridiculous. She would not lie to these people who had been so kind to her. How Richard could, was beyond her.

Miss Benedict flew to hug Caroline, too. “Oh, I am so pleased!” she exclaimed.

Over by the window, Javan stood with his back to the room, apparently paying no one any attention. Was he truly hurt? Her guilty heart ached for him…but still he did not turn to see her pain. And it came to her, with considerable pique, that she should not be pitying him. If he truly cared for her, he should have been the one leaping to her defense last night. He was the one who had kissed her, beginning the chain of ridiculous events that had led to this pretense. And yet there he stood, silent and superior, disdaining her and Richard.

“Thank you,” she said to Marjorie. “I can scarcely believe it myself.”

“It’s so wonderful! Though what we shall do without you, I don’t know!”

A quick glance showed her that Rosa looked stricken. Caroline started toward her, but Richard got there first.

“Don’t worry,” he whispered. “We won’t leave you.”

He might have meant it only for Rosa, but Javan suddenly looked across at him, as though he’d heard every word. He glanced from Richard to Caroline and then to Rosa.

A derisive smile curled his lips. “Really, Richard?” he mocked. “Really? Shall I build you a cottage in the grounds, with a rose garden?”

He knows, Caroline thought in fresh despair. God knows what he thinks of me, now!

*

It was, of course, impossible to tell. During his usual afternoon walk with Rosa, he treated Caroline much as he always did—with unconventional civility leavened by his own distinctive humor. Only the growing closeness between them had clearly vanished, and for that Caroline wanted to weep and to shout at him in fury. She refrained, however, and the matter of the engagement was never referred to. At least Rosa seemed to have abandoned her earlier fears.

At dinner, Richard announced that he had been to Blackhaven and bought tickets for the subscription ball at the assembly rooms next week, and for the theatre tomorrow.

“I’m sure you’ll enjoy an excellent evening,” Javan said politely. “On both occasions.”

“I thought we could all go,” Richard said.

“I’m not a dancing man,” Javan stated. His gaze fell on Caroline, who remembered only too well dancing with him at the castle rout. “I’d rather stay here with Rosa.”

“Well, the theatre will not be too late,” Marjorie observed. “I could stay in with Rosa if you wanted to go.”

“I’ll think about it,” Javan said carelessly.

“I could not go without you, Miss Benedict,” Caroline protested. “It makes more sense for me to stay.”

“Good lord,” Richard drawled. “Anyone would think the theatre was some kind of punishment. It’s meant to be fun. Miss Grey—Caroline—the world is not so strict with an engaged lady. I believe the presence of your betrothed is propriety enough, but do ask a female friend to join us, if it will make you more comfortable.”

“I shall take care of that,” Javan said unexpectedly.

*

Caroline’s sense of losing control of her life and everyone in it, was further heightened that evening when she discovered Rosa and Richard sitting on the stairs together. It must have been a somewhat one-sided conversation, but it made Rosa smile, and as Caroline passed them to go to her own chamber, Rosa jumped up and hugged her for no obvious reason.