The Things We Keep(80)
“Did you know about Clara?” I ask.
Rosie’s expression is guarded.
“It’s okay, she told me she’s dying,” I say.
Rosie’s head falls back in her chair, and her eyes close. “Yes, I knew. She has breast cancer. Very advanced.”
“How long has she got?”
“I’d like to say months,” Rosie says, her eyes still closed, “but I suspect it’s more like weeks.”
Even though Clara told me herself, it’s still shocking to hear. Weeks. Could it really only be weeks?
“She wants to reconcile Laurie with her sister,” I say. “Apparently, they dated before he met Clara and she’s been carrying the guilt around all these years for stealing Laurie away.”
Rosie opens her eyes. “I’m sorry to say it, but I doubt she’ll get the chance.”
It isn’t good news, not at all, but for some reason this pleases me. The idea of Clara handing her dying husband over to her sister in her final days is something I can’t seem to stomach. “So what happens now?” I ask.
“What do you mean, ‘what happens’?”
“With Anna and Luke,” I say. “What happens now?”
“Well, we don’t have a lot of choice, do we? We’re going to have to keep their doors locked. We can’t very well let them be together after what happened today.…”
When I don’t respond, Rosie looks up.
“Can’t we?” I whisper.
Her eyes bug. “You’re not serious, Eve? After all this trouble? After Eric said this is your last chance?”
“I know it’s not ideal but—”
“Eve, I like my job, okay? I can’t put it at risk anymore, I’m sorry.”
“But … I promised her.”
Rosie looks like she wants to see through the skin on my forehead and into my brain, where perhaps she’ll get a clue of what is going on in there. Perhaps for this reason, I decide to spit out the thought that’s been spinning around in my head all day.
“It’s just that … if another person kills themselves because I left when they needed me … It will kill me.”
43
Clementine
Cartwheeling makes your head hurt after a while. It’s been almost twenty minutes, and May and Gwen are still watching. I’m starting to think that if I don’t stop, we might be here all night. I tell them I have to go, and they give me a little clap and shuffle off. Then I peek around Rosie’s door, looking for Mom.
“So what happens now?” Mom is saying.
Rosie says, “What do you mean, ‘what happens’?”
“With Anna and Luke. What happens now?”
“Well, we don’t have a lot of choice, do we?” Rosie says. “We’re going to have to keep their doors locked. We can’t very well let them be together after what happened today.…”
“Can’t we?” Mom says.
There’s quiet for a moment, then Rosie says, “You’re not serious, Eve? After all this trouble? After Eric said this is your last chance?”
“I know it’s not ideal,” Mom says, “but—”
“Eve, I like my job, okay? I can’t put it at risk anymore, I’m sorry.”
“But … I promised her.”
It’s quiet again. I wonder if they have noticed me standing there. But then Mom continues. “It’s just that … if another person kills themselves because I left when they needed me … It will kill me.”
I snap back from the door. The hairs on my arms and legs stand on end. It will kill me. The thought of Mom dying, too, is so scary I can’t breathe.
It takes me a few moments to figure out what to do. Then I head for Eric’s office.… Miss Weber always says that if you find yourself in trouble, find someone in charge to help you. But when I get to Eric’s office, he’s not there. I climb onto Eric’s chair. Next to the phone is a list of numbers, and I choose the one that says “Eric’s Cell.” As it rings in my ear, I look through the crack in the door. Rosie is arranging everyone’s medicine in baskets on the cart. I want to scream, What are you doing? Didn’t you hear Mom say that something was going to kill her? Then I hear a deep breath on the other end of the phone. “Eric speaking.”
“Eric!”
“Yes.” A pause. “Who is this?”
“It’s me,” I say. “Clementine.”
“Clementine? What are you doing in my office? Where’s your mother? Is everything all right?”
“No,” I say in a small voice. “Nothing is all right.”
“Clementine, honey, is your mother there?” he says.
“No!” I say. “I mean, yes. But you can’t talk to her. Eric, I need your help.” I take a deep breath. “Rosie said she has to lock Anna and Luke’s doors, but Mom said she doesn’t want to. She says, if she does lock them … it will kill her! And I don’t want her to die. So can’t we just unlock the doors? Please?”
I’m breathing hard now, but Eric is quiet. I wonder if he’s still there.
Eric is quiet for a few seconds, which makes me nervous.