The Summer Getaway: A Novel(114)

He took the stairs to the fourth floor and searched for one fucking room where he didn’t have any memories of her. Just one! But that room didn’t exist, and he was left to stand in the hallway, desperate for relief from the five-ton boulder that was about to squash him like a bug.

She could have anyone, so why would she want him? She’d had a damned cardiologist flying across the country and proposing in front of people he didn’t even know. Jase hadn’t cared about anyone but Robyn. He’d put it all on the line. A doctor. She could have had a doctor.

Mason was clear on his place in the universe, even if his recent inheritance was messing with his head a little. But he would get over that. He would pick out his plot, sell the house, and live out the rest of his days with a view of the Pacific. It was a whole lot more than he’d ever dreamed he would have.

As for Robyn—he had to be realistic. He’d aimed well above his pay grade, and it made sense he’d fallen on his ass. Why wouldn’t he? She was the moon and stars, and he was a grunt in the army. They’d had a great summer, and now it was time for them to face reality. Well, him anyway. He doubted Robyn had ever left reality behind.

He walked to the staircase and sat down. There wasn’t a part of him that didn’t hurt. He ached for her, body and soul. Losing her was going to be bad—probably the worst thing he would ever endure. But he’d get through it. That he knew for sure. The army had taught him how to handle adversity.

He would need every one of those skills to survive the next year. She would be here with him, doing the inventory. He had no idea how they were going to handle that. Would she want to continue their affair while it was convenient? Would she want to end things sooner, to keep things more neat?

He knew he was weak enough when it came to her that he would accept any crumb she offered. Humiliating, but facts were facts. What was that old line? She was his greatest weakness. Dying for her would be easy. He was willing to go beyond that and be her bitch.

“You’re a difficult man to find.”

He stood and turned, only to see Robyn standing in the hallway behind him. Just looking at her was enough to make him want to beg.

She slipped her hands into her jeans front pockets. “I’m sorry about Jase.” She grimaced. “All of it. Him showing up, the proposal, me laughing. I think there have been so many emotions over the past few days that I’m incapable of being normal. Although I’m not sure what a normal response to him would have been.”

“You might regret letting him go.”

Her gaze was steady. “No, I won’t. Not ever. We broke up months ago. I meant it then, and I’ve never wavered. I shouldn’t have gone out with him in the first place.” Her mouth twisted. “In fact, when I look back, I see that I’ve never had particularly good taste in men. Until now.”

Her words were like a knife to the heart. He wanted to believe them, but somehow he knew he was going to end up with his guts spilling out on the floor.

“Yeah,” he said slowly. “About that. I think we both know this was great while it lasted, but it was never going to be more.”

Her eyes widened. “You’re breaking up with me?”

“No. You’re breaking up with me.”

“I’m not.”

“You are.” He gentled his tone. “Robyn, you came here because you were lost and angry, mostly at yourself. You’ve worked hard to put yourself back together. I was a distraction. A reward, if you will. But you never saw us as more than that. You’re going to be selling pieces of art and antiques to fancy museums and big shot dealers all over the world. You’ll fly in experts and be a star. You’ll love it. And I’m glad you’re going to experience it.”

“You’re wrong about me. About us. I don’t want this to end.”

God, he wanted to believe her. He wanted her to feel the same way about him, but he knew better.

“What is this?” he asked quietly. “What do we have? Are you in love with me?”

She blinked several times, then took a step back. The two-by-four of the shit that was his life cracked him on the side of the head. Mentally he staggered, but physically he stayed standing. Her confusion, her withdrawal, told him everything he needed to know.

He forced a smile. “It’s okay. I’m not surprised. The question had to be asked. Like I said, you’re the one breaking up with me.”

“Mason, that’s not what I meant. Love is complicated. I don’t want to make a mistake.”

“You won’t. You know what you want, and you’ll go for it. When you come back to work on the house, we’ll figure something out. It’s a big place. I’m sure we can go days and not see each other.”

Her lower lip began to tremble. “I don’t like this. I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t, but you will move on. Oh, and when the year’s up, I’m going to want to keep Charles II with me, if that’s all right.”

Tears spilled down her cheeks. “Mason, no. Please don’t do this to me. I need you.”

“I’ll always be here for you.” He crossed to her and pulled her into his arms.

One last time, he thought grimly. One last time.

She clung to him, crying harder now. Her whole body shook. He forced himself to step back. He lightly kissed her, then touched her cheek.