The Space In Between(35)

Did I not even stop to think about how dangerous the life I was living could be? Did I not stop to think how degrading it was for me to take off my clothing for money? How could I be so foolish? Many people have issues, but they don’t fall apart over them. He couldn’t understand. I didn’t blame him. “I'm gonna need you to start from the beginning because I'm definitely missing something. How could you be so stupid, Andrea?”
“You won't understand.”
“Try me.”
Defeated, I tossed up my hands, “I lost my best friend. And I was stuck in a place where I couldn’t breathe. Everything reminded me of him. Everything was him, Eric. I had to move away. I had to leave that place.”
Sarcastically Eric rubbed his eyebrows. “So of course the next step is stripping. How easy is it? To take off your clothes each and every night?”
“I just recently started onstage, all right!? It’s a form of dance…”
“It’s a step away from being a hooker!” He didn’t know how much his words stung. I was growing more and more disgusted with myself as the heaviness of his disappointment came into focus. That was the second time that night I’d been called a hooker. Once by my friend with benefits pregnant wife, and once again by my brother. Eric continued. “You should get tested.”
“For what?” He lifted his eyebrows and I quickly realized what he was talking about. “I’m not a prostitute, Eric! Jesus Christ!”
Eric stood against the wall, pounding his fist against his mouth repeatedly, trying to get a glimpse of my mind. I could see he was beating himself up a bit for coming on so hard. Perhaps it was the tears forming in my eyes which made him ease up on me. His eyes softened as he began to realize the last thing I needed was to be disciplined. “Come home, Andrea.”
“I can't.”
“Why not? You said you got fired tonight anyway! What are you going to do? Get kicked out? Live on the streets? Start a crack addiction?” I hated how extreme he was. But he had a good point. What am I going to do?
“Listen, you can stay with Michelle and me at her parents’ house for awhile. It’s right outside of town, and no one would bother you there. Come home and pull yourself together for a little while.”
All I could think about was texting Cooper. Escaping from the world for a bit. Losing myself in his arms and forgetting about all the troubles surrounding me. But Cooper was the main reason I was jobless. Cooper was the reason I’d walked home with that box in my arms. And Cooper was the reason my brother thought I was a whore. I had a growing level of hate filling my stomach for him. But at the same time I wanted to snuggle my head into his shoulder and hold on to him because he too, knew what it was like to be broken.
“Listen. I don’t want to do this, but I will tell Mom and Dad.” He was serious. It made me sick how much Eric was like our mom. He had her brown hair and her dramatic personality, always taking things to the extreme. And I hated him for it because he was always right.
Ladasha opened her door and walked into the living room with Freckles in her arms.
“You should go, Andrea.” She looked at me and I was shocked she would even think any of this was all right. She went on to explain how Simba didn’t want to go back to Pride Rock, but he had to—to take his place as king. Sometimes I wished her movie references didn’t fit so perfectly into situations.
“You’re not the same girl you were when you left Wisconsin, but maybe that’s why it’s better. Maybe you fit there now.”
“I’m sorry, who are you?” Eric’s eyes were locked with Ladasha’s, and he seemed to be smitten by her. She was beautiful, so it wasn’t a surprise; all guys looked at her as if she were a goddess. It was a bit weird seeing Eric fixated on someone who wasn’t Michelle.
“Eric, this is my friend, Ladasha. We met in college.”
Eric nodded. “Hi Ladisha.”
“It’s Ladasha.”
“Spell it.”
Ladasha rolled her eyes, went to the couch, and made herself comfortable. “L. A. Dash symbol. A. La-dasha-ah.”
Even I was taken aback. I raised an eyebrow. “Seriously? A dash symbol?”
“That's sexy.” Both of our eyes shot to Eric who appeared to be infatuated with the extremely different creature before him. It didn’t help that Ladasha had slipped into her booty shorts and a tight tank top for the night.
“What?” I asked.
“Huh? Nothing. Listen. I'm gonna book your flight back with me.” Eric quickly changed the subject as he shifted his eyes from Ladasha. The sweat dripping down his eyebrows showed how guilty he felt for even laying eyes on someone who wasn’t Michelle.
“If I come back with you, you won’t tell Mom or Dad?”
“I won't. But you have to stay awhile, Anders.”
“And you'll help with the apartment payments while I’m there? I want to come back to New York, Eric.”
“Yeah yeah, whatever. We'll leave tomorrow night. But there's one more thing.” Eric gave me hopeful eyes. I knew he was about to ask me something annoying; he always scrunched his nose when he was going to say annoying crap. “You have to come to the Christmas party.”
“No.” Eric pulled out his cell phone and started dialing, but I wasn’t going to be pushed. Crossing my arms, I stood tall, unable to be moved. “I’m not going, Eric.”
“No, that’s fine. I’m just gonna leave a quick message for Dad.”
“Screw you. Okay, okay. I’ll go.” All right. I’d been pushed, moved, and bullied.