The Sometimes Sisters(93)

Tawny stopped and looked across the table at Harper.

“It’s okay,” Harper said. “Go on. She didn’t know.”

We are hardwired to bear the loss of our parents and grandparents. Even though it brings grief and heartache, it’s a natural thing. There is nothing natural about losing a child, and the grief is something that never leaves a mother. You have to be strong to endure it, and it helps to have three beautiful granddaughters and a great-granddaughter. Love can do miraculous things.

“Amen,” Harper whispered.

Now down to business. You’ve been taking care of the book work, but I suspect if Flora is gone you are helping in other areas. I also know that you can’t cook worth a damn. You got that from me, child. But when you have time, you might go on in the kitchen with Harper and learn a few things—without fighting about every single thing. Now pass this on over to Brook. She can read the rest of it, because I’m not sure how any of you are going to take the rest of it. Don’t hate me.

Tawny handed the letter to Brook, who shook her head. “I don’t think I can read it. I’m too emotional.”

“Please,” Harper said. “It was her wish.”

“Okay, I’ll try.” She cleared her throat and began.

I loved your grandfather, Seamus. Never doubt that. He was a good man, a wonderful friend, and an amazing business partner. He adored our son from the day of his birth, and I don’t think Gavin ever completely got over his father’s death. He would have done better if I’d gone first, I’m sure, but that’s not the way God planned it. Just know that I loved him.

Brook peeked over the top of the pages with a puzzled look on her face. “It’s like she’s trying to convince us that she loved Grandpa Seamus.”

“I think she’s just trying to make sure we understand before she goes on with the next part,” Harper said.

Brook found her place and went on.

I’m glad that Seamus wasn’t here when Gavin turned his back on Lacy and Dana. There would have been a huge family split over that. I had to put on my kid gloves when it came to loving my son enough to let him make his own decision and loving my granddaughter enough to not allow his decision to affect mine. Seamus was thirty-seven when he died. The doctor said a blood clot went through his heart and he was gone before he hit the floor. Gavin was sixteen. It was a tough time, because a boy needs his father at that age.

Brook’s eyes grew wide. “That’s only a year older than you are, Mama.”

“Keep reading. I’m in good health. Don’t worry about me,” Dana said.

Brook’s gaze went back to the pages.

Like I said before, I loved Seamus, but I was never in love with him. That place in my heart was given to Zed when we were just little kids. I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t in love with Zed. So after Seamus died and I got over the guilt of not being able to give my husband my whole heart, things fell into place for me and Zed.

You have to understand that in my young days, race was a much bigger thing than it is today. White women didn’t marry black men. Two years after Seamus died, Gavin went off to college. A couple of the older women from the church came to tell me that it wasn’t proper for me to have a black man living on the resort without Seamus or even Gavin here to give the appearance of rightness. They were still living in a different world, one back when they were young in the forties, when it sure wasn’t right for a black man and a white woman to work together like we did. I told them what they could do with their prejudiced and self-righteous attitude, and I never went back. Besides, God does not dwell in houses made with hands, but in our hearts. It says so in the Bible. And after Gavin had been in college awhile, I decided to tell Zed exactly how I felt. And he held me like a woman, not like a friend, and told me he’d always felt the same.

“Oh, my!” Brook gasped. “Were people really prejudiced like that?”

Harper managed a weak smile. “Some people still are.”

Brook went on.

Another year passed and I told Zed that we were getting married, but he wouldn’t have any part of it. Gavin and Zed had a good relationship, and he was afraid it would ruin what they had, plus he was looking out for my reputation. I told him that I’d fire him if he didn’t marry me. He said he couldn’t live without me in his life, so we’d compromise. We’d get married, but no one could ever know about it. We went over the line into Oklahoma, got a marriage license, and were married by the judge right there in the courthouse. The license is in the safe along with birth certificates and other important papers.

“Well, I’ll be damned!” Tawny gasped. “So he was our grandpa after all. I wish I would have known. I would have called him Poppa instead of Uncle Zed. Lord, I loved that man, and I’m going to miss him so much.”

Brook glanced down at the last page and slid the letter across the table to Harper. “It says to give this to you now.”

Harper inhaled deeply.

I have been cremated. My ashes are in a wooden box in the apartment where Zed and I spent most of our time. You are to cremate Zed and put his ashes in the same can, and shake it up good so that we are together for eternity. Then I want you to take them to the big rock and scatter them together into the lake. We were both born here and we should be buried here, but I want to be buried beside Zed, who was my soul mate, and this is the way to do it without causing some big stir. No funerals, no big memorials. Maybe a song if you want. No tears, because Zed and I are finally together in a place where it doesn’t matter what color anyone’s skin is. I love you all.