The Simple Wild: A Novel(117)

Something tells me no.

“I don’t think I ever thanked you for calling me,” I respond softly, thinking back to that night on the porch steps, wearing one shoe with Simon sitting next to me. It feels like a lifetime ago.

She inhales sharply. “You know, next to phoning Derek’s parents to tell them about the crash, that was the hardest call I’ve ever had to make.”

And all I heard was a stranger’s voice. Some woman who was in my dad’s life while I was not. Funny enough, she feels like the farthest thing from a stranger to me now. “Are you angry with him?”

Her lips wobble a little before she presses them firmly together, cutting off the rare show of emotion. “I love him and I’m here for him. That’s all that matters.”

The ever-patient Agnes. She would have been perfect for my dad. She is perfect for him.

The sliding door creaks open then, and Jonah steps out with a heaping plate of food. My heart instantly leaps.

“This looks good, Aggie.”

With a gentle pat on my forearm, she collects my dinner plate and moves from the seat. “You’re later than I expected.”

“Lost a rudder coming home.” He squeezes her slender shoulder on his way past, and then settles into the spot she just left, filling the space, his big, warm body pressing against me. He cuts into his chicken with a soft, “Hey.”

I haven’t kissed him since this morning. I feel an overwhelming urge to lean in and do it now, but I hold myself back. That’s something you do when you’re dating, and that’s not what we are.

What the hell are we, though, besides two people finding comfort in each other while we watch a man we both love die?

Maybe that in itself is enough.

“So you lost a rudder?” I finally ask.

“Yup. Must have busted on the gravel bar I had to land on to drop off supplies,” he mumbles.

“Is it dangerous?”

“Need my rudders to steer the plane. So . . . not ideal.”

“Are you okay, though?”

He smirks through a mouthful. “I’m here, aren’t I?”

The memory of Betty’s crumpled body and a bloodied Jonah hits me then. That was just last week. Days ago. It seems like there’s something new every day. Is this what life with Jonah would be like? Him coming home to dinner, telling me about the latest danger he’s encountered as if it’s just another day at work? Because that’s exactly what it is for him.

I think I’m beginning to understand what my mother meant about living in daily fear. Here I am, only days in to this, and my stomach is already in knots over the thought of him crashing. Maybe that’s because I already witnessed it once.

Or maybe it’s because I’m not made for this bush life, just like my mother wasn’t.

“What’s that look for?” he asks.

“Nothing. Just . . . nothing.” What am I supposed to say? This is Jonah’s world, not mine. I’m just living in it for now.

He glances over his shoulder, as if making sure no one’s hovering at the window, listening. “I moved around a bunch of things on the schedule for tomorrow, and the rest of the week. Figured you, me, and Wren could take Veronica and head out somewhere in the mornings. That way you can spend some time with him and he gets to fly. I’ll co-pilot for him.”

“That sounds amazing.” And so thoughtful of Jonah. A small thrill sparks inside me. “Where will we go?”

He shrugs. “Wherever. There’s all kinds of things to see. You haven’t even scratched the surface of Alaska yet.”

That Jonah would go to all the trouble to do this, for both my dad and me, makes my heart swell. “Do you think he’ll go for it, though? I heard him talking to Agnes about going back to work tomorrow.”

“You think we’re gonna give him a choice?” He stabs at a piece of carrot. “If I have to throw him over my shoulder, he’ll be there.”

An overwhelming wave of gratitude hits me. I throw my arms around his thick neck, hugging him tightly. “Thank you,” I whisper, my mouth catching his earlobe.

He lets out a soft groan that reminds me of the sound I woke to this morning, with his hard body molded to my back.

I close my eyes, longing to be that close to him again.

“Hey!” Mabel pokes her head out and I peel away abruptly. Her wide-eyed look tells me she’s finally starting to clue in about what’s going on between the two of us. “We’re gonna watch Notting Hill. Mom’s making popcorn. You guys are coming in, right?” Thankfully, given her crush on him, she doesn’t seem resentful with me about it.

“We’ll see,” Jonah grumbles between mouthfuls, in a way that could translate into “not a chance in hell.”

“We’ll be there in a few minutes,” I assure her, erasing the disappointment from her face. As soon as she’s gone, I give his shoulder a smack. “Don’t be an ass.”

He sighs with exaggeration. “Fine. I’ll make you a deal.” I wait as he takes his time chewing. “I’ll go in there and watch whatever the hell you want,” he locks gazes with me, “but then you have to come over after Wren’s gone to sleep.”

A nervous flutter stirs inside me. “What, like sneak out of my dad’s house as if I’m some teenager?”