The Shadow Queen (Ravenspire, #1)(64)

Somehow, he had to get his human heart back from Irina. He had to get this collar off his neck. He had to find his friends and pray that Lorelai woke up in time to help save his kingdom from the ogre invasion. If she didn’t, his people would be gone.

Brig would be gone.

His throat ached at the thought, and even the warmth of the dragon’s fire in his chest couldn’t chase the chill of dread from his skin.

After everything he’d done, every piece of himself he’d sacrificed, he couldn’t bear the thought of failing Brig.

Who is Brig?

He whipped his head toward Lorelai and found her eyes open, though she still looked exhausted.

My sister. I didn’t know you were awake! Gabril said it took you two days to recover last time.

That’s because last time I healed a stubborn old man whose heart refused to obey mine until I used everything I had to overpower it. It’s easier when the person wants the same thing I want. Your dragon heart fought me, but there was enough of you left in there to make healing you easier than I expected. Your thoughts seem much clearer now. Congratulations on surpassing the vocabulary of my bird.

Very funny. The image of Sasha riding his shoulder while slapping him with her wing and occasionally pecking at his face came unbidden to his mind. Instantly, he tried to think of something else, but it was too late.

She’s protective. Lorelai sounded amused.

I was carrying you to safety!

Well . . . in all fairness, you did try to kill me.

He felt like she’d heaped burning stones onto his shoulders. It took everything he had to keep his eyes on hers. I’m so sorry, Lorelai. I don’t know how to apologize enough for that. Or for being in Nordenberg with Irina. I owe you a debt I can never repay.

You didn’t kill Leo. She sounded weary. And I believe you when you tell me Irina twisted her words, forcing you into an agreement you never intended. As for trying to kill me after she took your human heart, it wasn’t you. Not the true you.

You risked your life to save mine. Again.

It’s becoming an annoying habit of mine. She gave him a smile that suddenly reminded him how red her lips were against the paleness of her cheek.

He refused to pursue that line of thought now that she was inside his mind again. He had better things to think about anyway. Like how soon she could be ready to send a barrier into Eldr. And how long it would take to get there. And maybe—

As long as we’re apologizing, I guess I should say I’m sorry for being aware of your thoughts long before I said anything to you, but—

Wait a minute. How long were you aware? His mind flashed back to wondering how it might feel to kiss her.

Her mouth dropped open and tiny spots of color bloomed on her cheeks. I meant I heard you thinking about ogres and Irina and Brig. I didn’t . . . were you really thinking—

Oh, skies, no. Okay . . . maybe. Just for a minute. I’m a male. We do things like that all the time even when we should be thinking about something else. And I was thinking about other things. Lots of other things. That was just one stray thought out of many.

He was an idiot. He’d never stumbled over his words before with a girl. Never lost his ability to be charming while still keeping his distance from the many girls at the academy who’d wanted to kiss the prince so they could brag about it to their friends afterward.

How many girls have you kissed? She sounded curious.

The answer seared itself across his brain before he could bury it beneath thoughts of math equations and flight drills.

Seriously? That many? Was there some sort of competition you just had to win?

It was . . . there were a lot of girls at my school.

She rolled her eyes. Well, keep your lips to yourself. I have more important things to do.

He had more important things to do too. He had a kingdom to save, his heart to retrieve (if Irina had told him the truth about keeping it safe), and a sister who needed her brother to come home.

Grief, raw at the edges and weary in the center, filled him and flooded his thoughts before he could stop it. He was walking down the long hall that led to the throne room again, only this time he knew what waited for him. He was standing in the icy waters of Lake Skyllivreng, but the words he wanted to say to his family were too small to hold what they meant to him. He was kneeling on the platform above the throne room while the head of the royal council placed his father’s crown on his head and gave him the full responsibility for ruling a nation on its deathbed. And he was being crushed by the weight of it all. He was making decisions out of desperation, sacrificing what was left of himself so that he could do this one thing right. So that he could save Eldr.

Did the cost of Eldr’s salvation have to leave so much wreckage behind?

Her breath caught, and he looked up to find tears in her eyes and an image of her brother—the boy with the irrepressible smile and the reckless light in his eyes—lying quiet as a statue in the meadow outside Nordenberg.

Part of the wreckage.

Leo isn’t part of your wreckage. He’s part of Irina’s. Her own grief, just as raw as his, struck him hard, and he closed his eyes. Having something that was his alone pulled out of the darkest recesses of his mind and given to her without his permission was infinitely worse than having her see that he’d thought of kissing her. He was absolutely certain she felt the same about the grief that belonged only to her.

I can learn how to block you. She wasn’t looking at him when he opened his eyes. That’s why you can’t hear Irina’s thoughts even though her magic has been inside you. She’s touched so many people with her magic that she wouldn’t have a secret thought left if she didn’t block others. Gabril knows how to do it, and he can teach me. We don’t have to be forced into sharing everything like this.