The Shadow Queen (Ravenspire, #1)(57)

Not . . . you. Me.

You’re not going to die either. Irina has taken enough from us both.

There was a flicker of gratitude from him before it was drowned out by a wash of agony that covered his thoughts in red and sent his dragon heart pounding.

“Are you listening to me?” Gabril demanded.

“I am now,” she said, but part of her was tethered to Kol, to the pain that screamed through him and the whispers that promised him he’d be better once he held her heart in his hand.

“Lorelai.” Gabril’s voice was gentle. “We can’t save the boy. He’s a predator now.”

Yes. Kol agreed.

“He’s not a predator. He’s at war with himself. That means—”

“You don’t know that. We can’t assume any part of the boy we met still exists.”

War . . . with you. An image of her broken chest spilling blood onto the ground while Kol tore out her heart filled his mind.

Stop that. Focus on something constructive. You and I aren’t at war with each other, no matter what Irina wants.

“ . . . have to do what needs to be done. You still aren’t listening to me. Lorelai—”

Run. No. Chase.

“Both of you be quiet! Let me think.” Lorelai whirled away from Gabril and began to pace.

“Both of us?” Gabril’s voice was dangerously quiet.

Lorelai’s cheeks heated. “I touched his chest with my bare hand and sent my magic into him. That’s how I could feel the space where his heart used to be. How I know that he’s at war with himself. There’s a bond now.” Because meeting Gabril’s eyes felt impossible at the moment, Lorelai looked up, past the crease where the mountain met the valley they were in, beyond the point where the hemlock grove bled into the evergreens that covered the western mountain, and focused on the enormous command outpost for the section of Irina’s army that was stationed in the north.

“And you’re talking to him?” Gabril’s voice rose.

“It would be rude to ignore him. Especially when he can’t use his voice—”

“Because he’s nothing but dragon!”

Dragon. Kol’s voice was a snarl of rage and hunger.

You’re more than a dragon. You’re the king of Eldr. I’m the rightful queen of Ravenspire. And we aren’t at war—

War. The hunger in his voice was a vast, violent longing that swept over Lorelai’s mind in vicious waves.

She scowled at the trees, though she could no longer see him. You listen to me, Kolvanismir Arsenyevnek. We are not at war with each other. Your collar is telling you lies. I’m telling you the truth, and you need to listen to me because I can help you.

There was a long silence, punctuated by images of agony and struggle, and then he whispered. Help.

“What if he shifts? If he gives into his dragon completely, we’re in serious trouble,” Gabril said.

Why didn’t you come after me as a dragon? Lorelai asked and then mentally kicked herself. Putting that idea into Kol’s broken mind wasn’t one of her smarter moves.

She glanced at the tight line of Gabril’s mouth and decided that he never had to know.

Kol sent back an image of the collar keeping him trapped in his human form. Apparently, Irina was worried about facing a vengeful dragon as well.

Lorelai met Gabril’s gaze and said, “He can’t shift. Irina’s collar won’t let him. And he’s more than a predator sent to hunt me down. He’s the king of Eldr, his kingdom is falling, and he’s been trapped by Irina’s treachery. I can save him, Gabril.”

“The risks are tremendous.” He sheathed his sword and stared her down, his implacable expression demanding that she back up her words with logic he could accept. “If he’s at war with himself, he’ll crumble eventually. Irina’s magic has tainted him, and in my experience, that taint only grows more poisonous over time.”

“Then I need to act quickly.”

“If you use your magic to battle Irina’s magic in the boy, you’ll have revealed your true strength to her. She’ll be more prepared, more informed, when you get to the capital. And you’ll weaken yourself if his heart doesn’t submit to yours, which will also give Irina an advantage—”

“I’m not just going to let him die! Not when I have the power to save him.” Lorelai’s words fell between them, hard as stones, and Gabril’s eyes softened.

“He isn’t Leo.”

“No, but he’s somebody’s brother. Somebody’s friend. And I made a promise to save Eldr if Irina didn’t do it. Kol is part of Eldr.” She raised her chin. “I keep my promises, Gabril.”

Gabril crossed the space between them and pulled her close. “I know you do. And I’m grateful that’s who you are. I just want you to be alive at the end of this. I can’t bear the thought of losing you too.”

She wrapped her arms around him and closed her eyes, letting the warmth of his chest and the familiar weight of his chin against the top of her head make her feel safe.

Not . . . safe. Kol’s thoughts were a torment of blood, fire, and death. Her death.

I know, but right now there are more important things. She knew the risks of refusing to kill Eldr’s king. Of setting her sights on Ravenspire’s false queen and waging a war that would end with one of them on the throne and one of them in the ground.