The Shadow Queen (Ravenspire, #1)(38)
His friends would never let him do it. He’d have to shift into his dragon and leave the castle without a word to them.
The thought of not saying good-bye—to his friends or to Brig—hurt, but he didn’t have a choice. He didn’t have the energy to argue with them, especially when nothing they said would sway him. Eldr was his responsibility, and he’d made a promise on his father’s funeral pyre that he wouldn’t be a disappointment again. He refused to break that promise.
He also couldn’t risk his friends shifting into dragons and following him to Morcant, which they would do without hesitation. King Milek would agree to loan Eldr a talented mardushka in exchange for the servitude of one dragon. He didn’t need to know there were two more potential treasure hunters at his disposal.
Kol stopped pacing and sagged against the iron railing as a frigid breeze chased dead leaves across the wide expanse of the castle grounds. Facing the flight to Morcant alone was harder than he’d anticipated, but it was what a true leader would do.
His mind made up, Kol unbuttoned his shirt with swift fingers and shrugged out of the garment, letting it fall in a heap on the balcony. He’d leave enough signs for his friends to realize he’d shifted and flown away on his own, rather than let them worry someone in Ravenspire had done him harm. By the time they realized he was gone and tracked him by scent to Morcant, he’d have already struck a deal with King Milek, and it would be over.
He stepped to the edge of his balcony as he reached for his belt.
“Going somewhere?” Jyn asked from the balcony to his right.
He jumped and whirled to face her as she stepped out of the shadows beside the door to her room.
“Planning to shift into your dragon and go make a deal without us?” Trugg asked from his the balcony to his left as he too stepped out of the shadows and into the starlight, his meaty arms folded over his chest while he glared at his king.
“What are you two doing out this late?” He forced himself to sound casual, like the fact that he’d been stripping in the moonlight was of no consequence, but the looks on his friends’ faces said they weren’t convinced.
“What do you think we’re doing? We’re guarding you.” Trugg sounded furious.
“Guarding . . . I never instructed you to guard me.” He returned Trugg’s glare with one of his own while his hastily constructed backup plan disintegrated into dust.
“Good thing we didn’t ask your permission, then.” Trugg stepped closer.
“You’re our king.” Jyn rolled to the balls of her feet and shrugged out of her shirt, leaving nothing but a thin camisole and her pants. “And our friend. Did you really think we wouldn’t be watching over you day and night?”
Something hot and thick rose in Kol’s throat as Trugg’s shirt hit the balcony as well. They were preparing to shift. They weren’t trying to talk him out of his decision. They weren’t arguing with his reasons. They were simply ready to throw themselves into danger because where he went, they followed.
“You can’t come with me,” he said, and, curse the skies, his voice shook.
“I dare you to try to stop us,” Trugg said as he dropped his pants.
“You don’t understand.” Kol’s voice rose. “I don’t have time to wait for Irina to get better—if she gets better. Eldr needs help now. I’m going to Morcant to offer myself to the king in exchange for a mardushka capable of defeating the ogres. If you come along—”
“When we come along.” Jyn’s pants followed her shirt.
“If you come along, King Milek will try to enslave you in exchange for the mardushka instead of just enslaving me. I can’t allow that. I won’t. It’s my job to protect Eldr. All of Eldr. And I’m not going to fail my people. Do you hear me?” He grabbed the balustrade with shaking fingers. “I’m not going to fail my people anymore. This is my sacrifice to make.”
“And we aren’t going to fail you, Kol.” Jyn’s dark eyes gleamed. “You think you have to be strong for Eldr, and you’re right. You do. But so do we. So does every single Eldrian threatened by the ogre invasion. You have the responsibility of saving Eldr, but we have the responsibility of saving you.”
Kol stared at her while the thickness in his throat became the sting of unshed tears in his eyes. “I don’t need to be saved.”
“Don’t be an idiot,” Trugg said gruffly. “Eldr needs a king, not another loss. And you are the king Eldr needs, even if you pull stupid stunts like trying to fly off on your own to deal with the king of Morcant because sky forbid you should ask for help.”
Gratitude and fear settled into Kol’s chest like a burning stone. He slammed his fist against the balustrade and yelled, “If I ask for your help, I’m condemning you to enslavement in Morcant for the rest of your lives!”
Trugg lunged forward until only the thin space between their two balconies separated him from Kol. “No, you great ugly lizard, I’m condemning myself to enslavement in Morcant for the rest of my life because Eldr needs a mardushka and a king. Now shift or shut up about this plan and go back into your room where I don’t have to worry about you.”
A tense silence fell between them. Kol was trying to swallow past the thickness in his throat. Trying to come up with words that would shoulder the weight of his feelings, but if the words existed, Kol couldn’t find them. Trugg raised a brow and stood in his undergarment, his arms crossed over his chest while he waited for his king’s decision.