The Resurrection of Wildflowers (Wildflower #2)(85)

“You did this,” Thayer says, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. He rubs up and down over my jacket, trying to stave off the chill. But with the ice and snow, there’s no way to stay warm out here. It’s March, but in Hawthorne Mills that just means winter isn’t done with us yet.

“It wasn’t just me.”

He shakes his head. “You did this.” Maybe he thinks if he says it enough it’ll sink in for me. “I’m so proud of you, babe.”

He puts his tools back in the truck and we head inside where it’s warm and the smell of baked goods permeates the air. I only plan on selling cupcakes for now, a few set flavors with one specialty flavor that changes every day. In the future I might add more baked goods, but I’ve always enjoyed cupcakes the most and figured it was easier to start with one thing and go from there.

Balloons and streamers are set up for my grand opening this afternoon, but there’s another reason as well. I talked it over with Thayer and decided I wanted to open the shop for the first time on Forrest’s birthday. It felt like a way to celebrate him. He would’ve loved this. We set up a table in the corner with birthday cupcakes and a donation jar for a local program that teaches babies and young kids how to swim. People underestimate the dangers of water. They think drowning is loud, chaotic, but it’s the complete opposite. It’s silent and often it’s too late to do something when you realize there’s a problem.

To think Forrest would be fourteen today.

My stomach aches that he’s not here with us.

Sometimes I dream about him, what he’d be like now, how he’d be with Seda.

It’s always painful when I wake up and realize it wasn’t real.

In the kitchen, the two women I hired are hard at work finishing up more batches of cupcakes. I’ve already been here since early this morning to get a head start, but they shooed me out since I was getting too stressed.

“Is everything going okay?” I ask, peering at what they’ve gotten done.

“Yes, we’re fine. You worry too much,” Hannah says. She’s young, barely out of high school, but she demonstrated a love for baking and has a talent with her icing work that I could learn a thing or two from.

“It’s coming along great. Go take a break. We mean it,” says Susanne.

She’s in her forties and is actually Hannah’s aunt. Hiring the two of them to help out has been the best thing I ever did. Not only did they pick up on all the recipes without a hitch, but they’ve pitched in and helped in other ways to get the store ready for this day.

Leaving them to it, I rejoin Thayer who’s straightening the candle display. There aren’t that many since I haven’t had time to make a big batch, not with everything else that has been involved with opening my own store, but the shed behind the store is still there and I fully plan to make candles more of a priority. More for me than anything else. Making candles was my creative outlet and I still need one. I think every person benefits from working with their hands and finding something that allows them to be artistic. It’s just like Thayer with his sewing—which is still the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. He’s even started teaching Seda.

“They’re fine, Thayer. Leave them be.”

He takes a step back from the display, looking it over again. He adjusts one candle and nods to himself. “Now, it’s perfect.”

“I think you might be more nervous than I am.”

He rubs a hand over his jaw. “You might be right, but only because I want today to be perfect for you.” His eyes drift over to Forrest’s table. “He’d almost be a high schooler.”

My lips press into a flat line. “Yeah, he would be. Wow. That’s crazy to think about.”

Thinking about where he’d be in life is difficult to picture at times because I still see him as that sweet six-year-old boy who stole my heart just like his dad did.

He glances down at his watch. “I’m going to pick up Seda from school and then it’s showtime.”

We agreed to pick her up early because we wanted her to be a part of the grand opening. I still can’t believe she turned six last month. I think that was tough for Thayer, though he didn’t talk about it

“Okay, I’ll be … here … trying not to overthink or throw up.”

He laughs. “You’re not going to do either.”

“You have too much faith in me.”

I watch him leave, and the desire to throw up becomes stronger when a line begins to form. I’m not surprised Thelma and Cynthia are at the very front of it.

I wipe my sweaty palms down the front of my shirt. Closing my eyes, I say a little prayer and ask my mom to send me strength.

I knew this day would be nerve-wracking, but I didn’t think I’d be this much of a wreck.

Straightening things up that are already in order, I wait for Thayer to get back with Seda. My sister, Michael, and their kids are supposed to be here for the opening as well but haven’t shown up yet.

I send her a text, asking where they are.

Georgia: Running a tad behind. Ms. Victoria decided to have a poop explosion.

Me: Oh no. Poor baby.

Georgia: We’ll be there, don’t worry.

My niece is the cutest thing, it makes me that much more excited to have another, but so far it just hasn’t happened yet. I’m trying not to worry about it too much.