The Reluctant Bride (Arranged Marriage #1)(36)

“Perry is a fine young man. He already seems besotted with you.” She smiles and I look away from her, rolling my eyes as I keep pacing.

We’re faking it, and she knows it. Why does she act like this is the real deal between Perry and me?

“From all the society pages showcasing your engagement party, you two look like you’re helplessly in love,” she continues.

I come to a stop once more, glaring at her. “What are you talking about?”

“You haven’t googled yourself? You should.”

Dread settles into my stomach like the heaviest stone. “There are photos from the party? How?”

I don’t recall seeing a photographer there.

“Someone leaked them. One of the guests I assume. There were quite a few characters in attendance I had no idea who they were.” She taps her finger against her lips, momentarily lost in thought. “They’re quite flattering, though. You look lovely. And we were able to move up the engagement announcement to this weekend, thanks to the leak. The society editor was so upset that it happened. She wanted an exclusive, but unfortunately we weren’t able to give it to her. I’ve already promised she’d be the first to know about the birth announcement.”

My jaw drops open. “Birth announcement? Mother, I’m not having sex with that man.”

“Charlotte, please. He’ll be your husband. Of course, you’re having sex with him.”

“No.” I shake my head. “This is a fake marriage, remember?”

“Yes, I remember.” Her voice is droll. “You’ll get to know him. You two will settle into a—comfortable existence.”

That sounds like pure misery.

“I’m not attracted to him.”

That’s a lie. He’s attractive. Every time he touched me, kissed me, I loosened up. I even enjoyed it.

The man can kiss. And he has a way of looking at me, talking to me, as if no one matters. His attention is always one hundred percent for me.

And no one else.

“Darling, he’s a virile, handsome young man with broad shoulders and a pleasant smile. You’ll end up attracted to him. Just let him take the lead. He’ll know what to do.”

Oh my God, she sounds just like Perry when he thought I was a virgin and he told me he’d be gentle.

Please. Maybe I don’t want gentle.

“Maybe he’s not attracted to me. Maybe he’ll never take the lead and I’ll die lonely and heartbroken.” Okay, I’m being a complete drama queen, but what if?

What if Perry is just a really great actor and he doesn’t care about me? The moment we’re married he’ll take off and live his own life, leaving me alone? What then?

What will happen to me?

The unknown. It’s terrifying to contemplate.

“He’s attracted to you. I see it in his eyes, the way he looks at you,” Mother says.

I refuse to get my hopes up, though what she just said does light a spark deep inside of me.

“He’s been with a lot of other women,” I say, dropping my head so I can gaze at the floor. “I’m nothing special. He’ll want to find someone else like he usually does.”

“Perhaps he behaved that way a few years ago, but now he holds a respectable position at Halcyon and is hardly seen on the gossip sites anymore. He’s grown up. We all go through a—difficult stage, especially when we’re young.” Her gaze is pointed when she levels it on me. “Remember yours?”

We always have to circle back to the moment when I had an affair with a man in Paris. “That was a long time ago.”

She didn’t even pick up on my “nothing special” remark. Not that I’m looking for pity or sympathy…

More like I want my mother to talk me up. Remind me that I’m a strong woman who can handle any situation. That she’ll miss me and she loves me and she always has my back.

“A year.”

Instead, she reminds me of my faults and makes me feel like shit.

I let out a growl, making Doja meow in warning from her spot beneath my bed. “I’m not happy about any of this.”

“I know.”

“I’m taking Doja with me.”

“That’s fine. I’m sure your fiancé won’t mind.”

“And I will eventually take every single item out of this room. It all belongs to me.” I tap my chest.

“Of course.”

“And I want—I want Jasper to come with me, too.”

Mother’s lips form a perfect circle and she rests her hand against her chest. “You want to take Jasper? He’s not a pet you can take with you like that stupid cat. He’s an actual human being.”

Like she notices—or cares. “He’s very dear to me.”

“He should be. He’s been with our family for years.”

“Jasper will take care of me. Watch over me as I adjust to my new life. I’m sure he could even instruct me on how to be a proper wife to Perry, and what my duties will be around the house.” Oh, I’m really talking a good game when I don’t even mean a word of it.

“Please, darling. Whatever Jasper can do for you, another servant can.” She contemplates me, slowly shaking her head. “We don’t have to do much as wives beyond provide beautiful, well-behaved children and look good on our husband’s arm when we’re at parties.”