The Pretend Girlfriend (A Billionaire Love Story #1)(74)

Another thing to throw on the heaping pile of things to do. There were so many things in that pile already that she expected an avalanche of overdue due dates, lost friendships, and squandered opportunities to come crashing down on her at any moment.

And lurking beneath it all: the fear that even Aiden now hated her, or thought less of her at the bare minimum.

Gwen glanced around her unkempt bedroom, her mind going out into the empty apartment beyond the door. I'm alone, she thought.

Despite having the rent paid, feelings of fear and worry descended over her almost to the same point as when the reality of her roommate skipping out on her came crashing down.

And there, on the desk, sat her ticket to London. Gwen picked up the glossy piece of paper, watching the light coming in from the window leave a glittering streak across the type.

The plane was probably already over in the UK. Probably refueling, ready to haul another load of people back over the Atlantic.

Not wanting to think about it anymore, Gwen yanked open a desk drawer, threw the ticket in, and slammed the drawer shut. She flinched at the sharpness of the sound.

Gwen ate the piece of toast mechanically. Bite. Chew. Swallow. Repeat. Unfortunately, she hadn't grabbed any drink for the Rinse stage, and peanut butter quickly gummed itself to the roof of her mouth. Each mouthful felt like a hard little ball in her stomach.

From there, she flipped open her laptop and stared at her essay for a good ten minutes, moving the mouse when the screen darkened in an attempt to enter power saving mode. Her fingertips grazed the keys, unable and unwilling to apply the force necessary to make letters appear on the screen. Her mind filled with the staticky grey fuzz you used to get on old TV stations that weren't in service.

She knew that throwing herself at school might be the best idea right at that moment. She could lose herself in facts and dates and theories, forgetting real life for academic sophistry.

Yet her mind simply wouldn't allow it. The more she tried to force an idea, the further from her grasp the ideas fled. It was like trying to herd cats.

Clearly, Gwen thought, I need some recovery time. So, leaving her crumb-covered plate on her desk, she dragged herself out to the living room, plunked down on the couch, and turned the TV on. It was still pretty early in the morning, so it was mostly stuff like the annoyingly happy face of Kelly Ripa, and other equally cheery morning people.

But then one channel caught her eye and she stopped.

It was When Harry Met Sally. Just as the road trip was beginning. Why were they showing this movie so much?

It just reminded Gwen of Beatrice, and their long-running debate centered around the film. They'd just watched that movie around a week ago, but so many things had happened in those intervening days that it seemed more like a year.

It was kind of like how Gwen thought about Aiden. They'd met at that rich person party, and then he'd made that ridiculous offer which she'd then accepted. They'd been together only that long.

But it was more than that. Despite the mysteries still swirling around him, Gwen felt as though she and Aiden had known each other most of their lives. It was one of the reasons she liked being around him. It was one of the reasons she wanted to be with him, and why it hurt so much when he tried not reciprocating those feelings.

"Stupid movie..." Gwen muttered, reaching for the remote, intent on changing the channel. Even a blank screen would be better than being subjected to this again.

The movie reminded her of the friendship that she'd probably lost, and the relationship that now had a large question mark as its status, and she didn't want to think about either of those, at least for a little while.

She wanted the screen saver experience, like those big old bulky computer monitors used. Except instead of a monitor, it was her mind. She just wanted it turned to standby mode so that she could just slip away from everything for a little bit.

However, Gwen's finger did nothing but lightly graze the button to change the channel. Billy Crystal had once again launched into his theories on the impossibility of friendship between men and women.

Gwen had always disagreed with him and Beatrice both. But as he talked about it, she realized that her own experiences had forced a change in opinion on the matter.

It would have been better, she thought, for all involved in the contract to remain at arm's length. But her own feelings had gotten in the way and mucked it all up.

Thinking about it, leaning back and letting the old, abused couch cushions take her weight, Gwen arrived at a somewhat different conclusion. A caveat, to put her education to good use for once.

It wasn't that men and women were incapable of a platonic friendship; they could be just friends. But here came the caveat, the variable that, if present, precluded friendship.

A woman could be friends with a man provided that the element of attraction was not present. And by this, Gwen meant totally absent. If one person felt attraction for the other, the friendship was just a relationship waiting to happen. The guy or the girl not experiencing the attraction might not be aware of it, but the other person sure was.

And if both people felt attraction but never acted on it... Well, that was just tragic.

There were other niggling details to iron out and lay down, but that looked like the gist of it.

That was why this whole girlfriend contract thing hadn't worked out the way either of them expected. Because they both felt that attraction. For it to have worked, neither of them should have felt anything for the other.