The Pretend Girlfriend (A Billionaire Love Story #1)(59)

"I killed her, actually..."

"That's ridiculous; you were just a baby!" Gwen said.

"Please, just let me finish... Yes, I was just a baby. There were complications during my birth. Henry couldn't be there. The doctor could only save one of us, and he picked me."


It was all so clear now. Maybe not all, she thought again, but at least in part.

"So Henry blames you for your mother's death. You feel guilty about it, and that's why you let him walk all over you, isn't it?"

Aiden stayed quiet. His eyes became glassy, and he rubbed at his chin. Gwen gave him his space. She wanted to scooch over and hug him, pull his cheek down to rest on her shoulder, but she didn't. Part of her knew she still felt angry at him.

Scraping together the strength, Aiden said, "He'd never admit it. He's never said anything about it at all, actually. In fact, I can't even remember hearing him say her name. But I know that's how he feels. I know that he's never forgiven me, and that I don't think he ever will."

"That's ridiculous," Gwen said, wanting to make him feel better, "Henry's a lot of things, but he's not stupid. He has to know it wasn't actually your fault, and that he shouldn't blame you."

"Maybe, but knowing something should be the case doesn't necessarily change how you feel. Emotions aren't rational."

Gwen could attest to that, anyway. If she had been a little more rational about this whole thing, she wasn't certain she'd be sitting there with him right now. If she'd been a little more rational, she probably would have accepted Henry's buy out and washed her hands of the whole affair.

However, that didn't mean she had to like it. "But still... are you sure? Haven't the two of you ever talked about it?"

Aiden ran his hands through his hair and let his head down slowly against the couch so that he stared at the ceiling. Though perhaps stared through the ceiling was a better choice of words. Gwen saw him as a man haunted by his past. A past he couldn't even remember. Unfortunately, Henry could remember.

"Yes," he said, "Sort of. It's difficult. Any time this comes up, Henry just throws himself even harder into Carbide Solutions. He pretty much founded the company to run away from his grief."

"To replace your mother, you mean," Gwen said.

Aiden just shrugged. It wasn't like him to not have some interesting tidbit of wisdom ready to go.

"So that's why you're doing all of this charity stuff? Trying to make the company look better? Has it replaced your mother for you, too?" Gwen said.

She found it touching, if also heartbreaking. It must have been awful for him, growing up with that ghost over his shoulder. And it was no wonder Henry was so protective of the company, if it represented his lost wife. And, in a way, rather protective of his son, who must also serve as a constant reminder of what, and who, he lost.

Gwen still didn’t like Henry Manning at all, but that didn't mean she couldn't have a bit of sympathy for him. If anger makes you stupid, then grief can drive you totally insane.

"I don't know. Maybe?" Aiden said, rubbing at his eyes. "I'm sure some psychologists would agree with you. To me, though, it's always felt to me like I owe him something. Something I can never pay off, but that I always need to try and do, for him, and for my mother."

"So that's why you're trying to improve the company's image, and the way it does business," Gwen said.

He nodded. "In part, yes. Also because I know there are better ways to run a business. Fairer, more equitable ways, but they tend to cut into the bottom line a little more."

Gwen wondered whether she should have majored in psychology. Aiden and Henry would have made a fascinating case study, she knew. The business represented so much to them both, and they were both trying to live up to those representations, although in different ways.

Henry, she figured, must believe that the more money the business makes, the better it is, without a real care for what went into creating that bottom line. Success could be measured in dollars earned, contracts gained, competitors crushed, that sort of thing.

Aiden could see the value of a dollar, but didn't believe that those who worked for the company, or those whose lives the company touched, should be considered somehow sacrificial for the company.

It was so funny how different ways of looking at the same thing (in this case, success) could change a person.

But Gwen also couldn't help feeling a little selfish. "And what about me? Why really bring me into all this?"

Aiden stood up. His hair was in disarray from running his fingers through it, like he'd just rolled out of bed. Gwen had to force herself to not think about how sexy he looked.

He went over to the bay window and picked a book at random from the shelf, pulling it out with his index finger. The window didn't offer a view of Central Park, like in Gwen's dream, but it did look out across the city.

"Image, really," Aiden said, "People perceive you differently if you're in a relationship. It makes you seem more normal, down to earth, all that. There's no way you could know this, but since it's gone public that you and I are together, donations to my charities have gone up nearly 20%."

"And nothing else? No other reasons?" Gwen said. She made him more money, which was all well and good. But that couldn't be all. She wouldn't accept that.