The Poison Season(57)

“Your poor parents. They must have been so frightened.”

“Terrified. Fortunately, I stayed put once I realized I was lost, and they found me a little while later. But despite how scared I’d been, I continued to do it. I don’t know why. It’s like I’ve always been searching for something, even subconsciously.” He hesitated, wanting to choose his words carefully. “I guess I don’t feel like I fit in, even though my family loves me and has always been supportive of me.”

Leelo had been sitting cross-legged, but she stretched her legs out now, so they were side by side with Jaren’s. As much as he hated how small the shack was most of the time, he was always grateful for the closeness whenever Leelo came. “I sometimes feel that way, too.”

“Really?”

She nodded. “The very fact that I helped you when I should have turned you in makes me unlike any other Endlan I know.”

“I understand how much you risked in helping me, Leelo. And I’m very grateful you did.”

They were quiet for a few minutes again, the air thick with unsaid words. It was taking all of Jaren’s strength not to ask if he could kiss her. He didn’t know what the conventions were on Endla, but Leelo had already told him she was expected to marry young. She could already be promised to someone else, for all he knew.

“How’s your leg?” Leelo asked suddenly, breaking the tension.

“It’s fine. Much better, in fact. The good news is that when we do get that boat repaired, I’ll be able to pull my weight. Not that you couldn’t handle it on your own.”

She laughed. “I’m strong, but I know my limits. I can’t get a boat to the shore on my own.” She pulled her legs up to her chest. “I should go. I won’t see you tomorrow, because of the festival. Do you think you’ll be all right until the day after?”

He wanted to tell her no. He wanted her to stay. He wanted to tell her that going even a few hours without seeing her was too long. He wanted her to slip away from the festival and spend that time with him instead. But he nodded because what he wanted was irrelevant. “Of course.”

He was waiting for her to leave, but she didn’t move. “Jaren, I...” She ran her hands over her braid, clearly anxious about something.

“What is it?”

“I like you. More than I should. I shouldn’t even say that. I’m not a good Endlan.”

He couldn’t stand to see her look so ashamed, not when she’d done nothing wrong. He leaned forward and held out his hand. This time, she took it without hesitating. “I don’t know what makes a good Endlan, Leelo. But I do know you’re a good person.”

She shook her head. “You don’t understand.”

He wouldn’t contradict her. Maybe he didn’t understand, but he knew without a doubt that she was good. “Leelo.”

She slowly dragged her eyes up to his.

“I like you, too.” One side of his mouth tugged up in a grin. “A lot.”



Chapter Thirty-Three


“You girls both look beautiful.”

Leelo smiled at her mother, who watched as she and Sage fluttered around the house in preparation for the solstice festival. Despite her concerns for Jaren, Leelo had somehow gotten caught up in the excitement once it was time to get ready. Even Sage seemed eager, to Leelo’s surprise.

“Is my hair all right?” Leelo asked, twisting to get a glimpse of herself in the mirror.

“It’s perfect.” Her mother tugged on one of the long blond waves that she’d woven through with daisies from the Forest. She’d presented Leelo with her new dress that morning, made of fine white cotton embroidered with bright flowers and trimmed in the most delicate handmade lace. Sage was wearing a similar dress in her namesake color.

“You’ve matured over the last few months, you know. Both of you.”

Sage wrapped her arm around Leelo’s waist and squeezed. “Imagine what we’ll be like when the year is over.”

Fiona sighed. “I wish I could freeze time and keep you as you are now.”

Sage laughed and released Leelo. “You know that’s impossible, Aunt Fiona.” She skipped out of the room, but Leelo stayed with her mother.

“And how are we now, Mama?” she asked.

Her mother looked wistful when she spoke. “A little harder around the edges, perhaps, but still soft enough to be hopeful.”

“Hopeful about what?”

Her mother sighed. “Everything, my darling.”

Something about Mama’s tone worried Leelo. “You’re coming, aren’t you? Are you feeling well enough?”

“Of course I’m coming. I’ll change, and we can go.” She kissed Leelo’s forehead, now nearly even with hers.

Together, they left the cottage, falling silent as they passed by Isola’s house. Her family wasn’t allowed to attend such a celebratory occasion. Still, by the time they’d reached the meadow where the festival was held, they were nearly twenty people in all, the majority of the families Aunt Ketty oversaw as council member. Despite how small Endla was, it wasn’t often that everyone gathered on the island. It was a time to catch up with people they rarely saw, for the adults to comment on how big the children had grown, for friends to share gossip and elderberry wine, and for the young people to dance until their feet ached.