The Poison Season(48)

All she could see was Tate in that boat, rowing in the rain, possibly being eaten by the same wolf that had brought Jaren here. The idea of living the rest of her life without knowing his fate seemed impossible. She wrapped her arms around herself to keep from falling apart entirely, though how could she not, when her baby brother was gone?

She opened her eyes at the sensation of a hand settling lightly on her shoulder. She froze, and for a moment, she thought he might remove his hand. But he kept it there.

“Leelo, I’m not going to endanger you, or your mother.”

She raised her head a little and whispered, “I’m scared.” It was the first time she’d admitted it out loud. She wasn’t just scared of Jaren and being caught. She was scared of what had happened to her brother, of her mother’s illness, of growing up. She was even scared of Sage sometimes. This island was supposed to be the one safe place for Endlans, but it didn’t feel safe anymore. It seemed as though one false step had landed her in a snare, and the more she tried to fight her way free, the more entangled she became.

“Leelo,” Jaren said, and she finally looked at him. He shrugged and gave a small, sad smile. “If it’s any consolation, I’m scared, too.”

Before Leelo went into her house, she washed her face with the remaining water from her skin, rinsing away any lingering dried tears. She still couldn’t believe she’d cried in front of Jaren.

She stepped inside to find her cousin setting the table.

“Dinner’s ready,” Sage said. With her hair pulled up into a messy knot and an embroidered apron tied around her waist, Sage was far less threatening than she’d been on the shore. As tough as she claimed to be, she’d never had to look a person in the eyes with the intent of ending their life.

They sat down to eat, and if Sage was suspicious about where Leelo had gone, she didn’t mention it. Aunt Ketty even told her she looked pretty with a little color in her cheeks. Fiona joined them for dinner, and no one argued or complained. Aside from the fact that Tate wasn’t there, it felt almost normal.

“What are you planning to do with your day off tomorrow?” Mama asked as Leelo helped wash the dishes. Ketty and Sage had gone to check on the lambs before nightfall.

“I have chores,” Leelo said. “And I promised Isola I’d visit her.” Isola had become a convenient excuse for sneaking off, but Leelo wasn’t sure how long she could keep it up. If anyone asked Isola about it, the girl would have no idea what they were talking about. Fortunately for Leelo, no one visited with Isola except for her. But she felt guilty for using Isola as a cover, and besides, it was going to take more than an hour or two to search for the boat.

“I can take over your chores,” Fiona said. “If you’d like.”

Leelo dried off the bowl her mother handed her. “You should be resting.”

“I’m feeling much better. Really. It’s time I start pulling my weight around here again. You’re seventeen. You should have some freedom on your day off.”

Leelo didn’t meet her mother’s eyes. She was too afraid there would be suspicion there. “What would I do with freedom?” she asked.

“I don’t know. There must be someone you like. I’ve never heard you talk about anyone in particular.”

For some reason, her mind automatically went to Jaren, even though that clearly wasn’t what her mother meant. She meant an Endlan, a future partner. “How do you know if you like someone that way? Or if they like you?”

Fiona smiled, her eyes lighting up in the way they did when she sang to Tate as a baby. “Well, generally they take a special interest in you, and you take one in them. It’s an attraction, but not one based solely on appearance. Perhaps it’s the way they sing or laugh. Maybe they go out of their way to be kind to others. And of course, there’s something more...intangible about the person. Something that makes you think about them all the time, that makes your heart race when your eyes meet or you know you’ll be seeing them.”

Leelo had never seen her mother blush before. She was staring out the window above the sink, her eyes clearly seeing something besides the Forest. “You felt all of that when you met Father?”

Her mother blinked and glanced at Leelo. “Um, yes, of course. Well, we’d always known each other. But one day it was just...different.”

Fiona’s tone had changed entirely. She went back to the dishes, the light gone from her eyes. What had Leelo said? Had the reminder of Father upset her?

“I think Sage likes Hollis Harding,” she said, hoping to recover the conversation.

“Oh?”

“She got all dressed up when we went to dinner that night.”

Fiona nodded. “I think that might have been Ketty’s idea, truth be told. She thinks the Hardings would be a good connection for our family. Hollis and his father are strong, hard workers.”

“Is that all Aunt Ketty cares about?”

Fiona sighed. “I know it might seem that way. But she cares deeply about the safety and well-being of everyone in this family.”

Leelo bit her tongue to keep from saying, “Except for Tate.” She finished drying the last dish and wiped her hands on a towel. “Have you thought of a husband for me?”

Mama turned to her and took her hands, smiling. “I haven’t met anyone yet who I think is worthy of you, Leelo. When I was your age, all the boys seemed so young and immature. Hardly ready to be husbands. You’re such an intelligent girl. I can’t see you with any of the boys your age.”