The Paper Swan(93)

“Damian,” I moaned as he pushed my nightgown aside and caressed my breast with tantalizing possessiveness.

He made a tortured sound as his mouth closed over a taut, dusky nipple. My body arched, driving him insane. He pulled my legs around his hips, letting me feel the full, inflamed length of him, hot and heavy through all the layers between us. We couldn’t get close enough, fast enough. My hands were tearing down his zipper, his lips were on the hollow of my throat. We were hot skin and muffled breath, void of reason and logic and consequence. He pushed my hands away, too impatient with my fumbling, and started undoing his pants, his eyes pinned on me the whole time. I knew that he was about to f*ck my brains out.

“Mama?”

We jumped apart so quick, I barely had time to blink.

Sierra was standing in the doorway, rubbing sleep-drenched eyes. I couldn’t be sure what she’d seen, but she was staring at Damian like she’d seen a ghost.

He was holding a pillow over his lap, trying to catch his breath. Another second and Sierra would have caught us in a compromising situation. I fixed my gown and called her in.

“Everything all right, sweetie?”

“I thought you went away,” she addressed Damian.

“I was out of town, but now I’m back. And I’m not going anywhere.”

It was the first time they’d spoken since Damian had found out she was his daughter. Every word he said resonated with a deeper meaning.

“Did you miss me?” He smiled.

“Why were you kissing my mama?”

“You . . . saw that. Right. Well . . .” He cast a furtive glance my way.

I’d never seen Damian flustered, but that’s exactly what he was, and although I was tempted to let him flounder a little longer, I interceded.

“This is your father, Sierra.” I had planned to break it to her gently after Damian showed up at the cemetery, but then he’d disappeared. Now that she’d caught him in my bed, I didn’t want to drag it out any longer than I had to. “I didn’t know he was out until I saw him on The Day of the Dead,” I continued. “He didn’t know you were his daughter until then either. I’m so sorry, Sierra. I wanted to tell you, but I wanted your father and I to do it together, properly. I’m sorry you had to find out like this.”

Damian and Sierra regarded each other, him gauging her reaction and her considering him in a new light. My heart pounded in my ears as the silence stretched out. I had thought about this moment forever, thought about the two of them face to face for the first time, father and daughter, and no matter what scenario played out in my head, it was never perfect.

“You really are a bandido,” Sierra said to Damian.

“I really am.” He nodded. “That’s why I was in prison.”

“Can I ask him now?” She looked at me. I nodded because I couldn’t speak, because my throat was clamped tight. I had told her the truth about her father, everything except for why he was in prison. That was for him to tell her. She deserved a clean slate with her father, and he deserved a chance to explain it to her in his own words. Maybe it was a cop out on my part, maybe it had been unfair to keep her in the dark, but that was as far as I was willing to go. She got into scuffles at school because the kids taunted her about the father she didn’t know, but she learned to stand her ground early on and if push came to shove, Sierra kicked ass. She was free-willed and strong, but she was just a little girl. My heart ached as she stood before her father, her hair just starting to grow out from the buzz cut.

“What did you do?” she asked.

Damian stared at his hands for a moment. “Bad things,” he said. “I hurt your mother. See this?” He picked up my pinky finger and held it up. “I did that. I was angry because someone hurt my mother. I thought getting even would make me feel better. For a while it did, but then it just hurt more.”

“Mama said it was an accident.” Sierra’s gaze was locked on our hands. Damian was still holding on to mine, like he needed me to get through this.

“In a way it was. I was going to do something much worse.” He tried to keep his voice steady, but I could feel his agony, his torment, at having to explain things to Sierra, unprepared and unrehearsed. There were no lawyers or judges now, just a father and daughter getting to know each other. When all the chips had fallen, it came down to real people and real moments, to repercussions that stretched far beyond the courts. Damian had served his time, but this was the stuff that really mattered.