The Paper Swan(64)

I ran to the end of the pier just as Damian’s boat was pulling out of the harbor.

“Damian!” I tiptoed at the very edge, as close to him as I could get, trying to catch his attention. “Damian!”

He turned around.

Yes.

There was no clearer way for me to show him that I had forgiven him, that what I felt went way beyond the hurt and pain I’d suffered. I understood the why. I understood him. It was his turn now, to let go, to take a chance, to let me stand up for him, to let me stand with him, come what may.

All you have to do is turn the boat around and come back, Damian.

He heard me, even though I didn’t say a word. Our eyes met and I could see everything he felt. For a few, sky-blue, suspended moments, my heart and his were the same; they wanted the same thing. Then he turned back around and continued steering away.

I let go of the stupid strawberries. I let go of the stupid hope that had swelled up in my chest like a big, stupid balloon. I let go of my stupid pride and sat on the stupid pier and let myself stupid cry.

I had chased after Damian’s boat, just as he had chased after my car all those years ago. But this was different. This was no dry, dusty road. This was clear day, clear sky. Nothing had obscured me from him. He had seen me, and he had heard me, and he had chosen to keep going. Because where there’s hate, there can be no love, and Damian still hated my father.

“You have no right to punish me for it!” I chucked a strawberry after the boat. It was getting smaller and smaller by the minute. I was about to throw another one after him, but he didn’t deserve any strawberries so I stuffed it into my mouth and wiped my tears.

“What’s the matter, dear?” I felt a warm hand on my shoulder. It was an elderly lady wearing a sheer, fringed kimono over a tube top and long skirt. Her fingers sparkled with chunky cocktail rings.

“I missed my ride.” I felt an instant kinship with the big, busty woman. She jingled and jangled from all the colorful necklaces and bracelets she was wearing.

“That one there?” She pointed at Damian’s boat.

I nodded.

“It’s not too late. We can still catch up. Ken and I were just getting ready to leave. Hop on, we’ll give you a ride.”

I followed her to a small sailboat on the pier.

“I’m Judy, by the way. And this is my husband, Ken.” She gestured to a man with a large, kind face.

“Nice to meet you.” I shook hands. If they thought it rude that I’d omitted my name, they didn’t say anything. They seemed like nice people, and I didn’t want to lie to them, but I wasn’t taking any chances, in case they’d heard the news.

“Nothing like a lover’s spat on the high seas,” said Ken, after Judy explained the situation.

“I didn’t say they were lovers. Please excuse my husband.” Judy turned to me. Her blond hair was so bright it looked almost white. “All this sun is getting to him. We don’t get much in Hamilton.”

“Hamilton?” I asked, as we cast off. “Where is that?”

“In Canada. We run a little vintage store, but we sail a fair bit and sometimes we find all kinds of local knick-knacks to take back.”

“She’s wearing half of them.” Ken winked at me. “If we sink somewhere off the Pacific Coast, it’ll be from all of her shopping.”

A fellow shopper. No wonder I’d felt an instant connection.

“Would you like some strawberries?” I asked. It was all I had to offer for their kindness.

“Oh no. We get plenty of those. Out here, it’s all about guava and mangosteen and pineapple,” said Ken. “And truth be told, it doesn’t look like you have enough to go around.”

Judy and I laughed. The wind had picked up and the sailboat was moving swiftly towards Damian.

“I’ll signal him down,” said Ken, when we caught up.

“Thank you,” I replied. The boats were bobbing side by side. Ken started lowering the dinghy.

“No need,” I said. I was almost afraid for Damian to see me. I didn’t know what I’d do if he took off again. “I can take it from here.” I jumped into the water.

“Well then. Don’t let us keep you!” Ken shouted after me.

I climbed up the ladder to Damian’s boat and stood on the deck in a big puddle, feeling a bit like a drowned rat.

“Don’t forget these.” Judy tossed the strawberries over. Two big bags full.