The Nest(79)

She didn’t know what she expected to see, but it wasn’t the room she found herself standing in—an entirely ordinary bedroom housing what she assumed was an antique bed and rocker, a long dresser with lots of framed photos on top. The bed looked small to Nora, especially for Walker who was—well, he was substantial. The bed was neatly made. There were no clothes scattered around like her parents’ room. It was just a tidy bedroom.

She walked over to the dresser and started looking at the pictures. The biggest one, the one in the center, was of Jack and Walker. She picked it up to take a closer look. They were both wearing tuxedos and boutonnieres and both holding their left hands up to the camera and showing off wedding bands. As she was putting the picture back, the door swung open and Louisa came in. “There you are!” she said. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing,” Nora said. “Looking.”

“Snooping,” Louisa said.

“Look.” Nora pointed to the photo. “They got married.”

Louisa walked over and stared at the photo. “Wow,” she said. “I wonder if Mom knows.”

“It would kind of suck if she knew and didn’t go.”

“Maybe she doesn’t even know. Maybe she wasn’t invited.”

“That would kind of suck, too.”

“Yeah,” Louisa said. She stood and took in the bedroom as Nora had been doing minutes before. “I didn’t expect it to look like this,” Louisa said.

“What does that mean?” Nora said. Even though she knew exactly what Louisa meant; she’d had the same reaction. She’d expected the room to be more—something.

“I just mean, it’s so—” Louisa was trying not to use the word normal, she knew that wasn’t right, but it was all she could think of. “It’s so plain,” she finally said.

Nora and Louisa stood quietly. They were both a little light-headed from the champagne on an empty stomach. Outside the window, a sharp crack of lightning. They jumped. A deep roll of thunder. They looked at each other, the air stormy between them, charged. Louisa sat on the bed. Her head was starting to throb. She suddenly wanted to go home.

“I have to talk to you about something,” Nora said. She hadn’t been planning on having this conversation now, but the champagne loosened her tongue.

“I know,” Louisa said. “I saw. You and Simone. At the museum one day.”

“You did?” Nora was embarrassed, trying to think of what Louisa might have seen. God, what if she had been at the IMAX.

“Are you—?” Louisa said. “Are you—?”

“I don’t know,” Nora said. She sat down on the bed next to Louisa. “I like Simone. That’s all I know. I like her.”

“She intimidates me.”

“I know she does.”

“She’s so sure of herself.”

Nora nodded. “She is. But she’s also smart and funny and nice. And I really like her.”

The rain was coming down harder. Jack and Walker’s bedroom faced an inner courtyard. People coming home from work were running to get inside, holding briefcases and coats over their heads. “Do you think I’m gay?” Louisa said. Nora laughed, relieved they were finally talking. “Please don’t laugh at me,” Louisa said, covering her face with her hands, trying not to cry.

“Do you like boys or girls? You know what you like.”

Louisa spoke into her hands. “Boys.”

“Okay.”

“I don’t think I can be a lesbian.”

“Okay.” Nora was grateful that Louisa wasn’t criticizing Simone or freaking out in some other way. Louisa lowered her hand. Her face flushed in the same exact way Nora’s did, two vivid red patches right in the middle of each cheek.

“Are you mad at me?” Louisa asked.

“Why would I be mad? I thought you’d be mad at me.”

“I’m mad you didn’t tell me.”

“I tried. I just— I didn’t—”

“I know,” Louisa said. They sat for a minute, both staring out the window. The thunder and lightning had passed, the clouds were moving swiftly, and the rain was tapering off. It still smelled like spring outside the bedroom window. “It’s a little weird, right?”

“Me being with a girl?”

“No, not that. Well, maybe a little that. Mostly it’s strange not being the same.”

“I’m just me,” Nora said. “I’m here. I’m the same.” Now she was afraid she was going to cry.

Louisa shook her head. “I’m not saying it right. It’s like we used to want the same things and see the same things and now we don’t and it feels strange. Lonely almost. Almost like I’m doing something wrong because I don’t want the same thing as you.”

Oh, Nora thought. This part is going to be easy. She knelt on the floor in front of Louisa and took her hands. “It’s not your job to be anyone’s mirror,” she began.

WHERE HAD THE GIRLS GONE? Melody looked everywhere before she thought to check the bedroom. She opened the door slowly and saw them sitting on the bed. “Did you ask Jack if it was okay to be in here?” She stepped inside and, just like Nora and Louisa had, started looking around, interested.