The Military Wife (A Heart of a Hero, #1)(86)

“You don’t really want to kill yourself, do you?” Bennett asked.

Darren shot him a side-eye and shrugged. “I wrote a note. I’m standing here with a gun.”

“How long have you been standing here?”

Darren stared out the window like he’d spotted an extinct dodo bird and didn’t answer.

Bennett stepped closer, within reach of the gun now. “I know someone who might be able to help you.”

“I’m not going to see a goddamn shrink. Everyone would know.”

“You don’t think everyone isn’t already wondering what the hell is going on with you? You’re a fucking mess, man.” Bennett would wrestle the gun away if it came to that, but he hoped it wouldn’t. “Give me the gun.”

Darren held the gun in both hands, caressing it like a talisman, before holding it out butt first. Bennett let a long breath out and took the gun, hefting it in his hand. Something was off. He checked the magazine. Empty.

“No bullets,” Bennett murmured.

“I was going to practice a few times. Work on the angle.”

Or he really didn’t want to kill himself; he just couldn’t see another way out. Bennett could give him that. “How about this … no shrinks, no base support group. You remember Alex Ramirez?”

“Sure. What’s he doing now?”

“He’s a SEAL instructor but also works with current and ex-military who have been injured physically, mentally, and emotionally.”

“You think he can help me?”

“If he can’t, then he’ll point you to someone who can. Your kids need you. Sophie especially.”

“I’ve been a shitty dad.”

“Then work toward not being so shitty.” Bennett stuffed the gun in his waistband at the small of his back. “Look, I grew up without a dad, and my mom OD’d when I was nine.”

For the first time, Darren came out of his selfish stupor to send him a sympathetic glance. “I never knew that.”

“I went through the foster-care system in Mississippi, passed from family to family. Having a dad would have been a dream come true. Even if he wasn’t perfect.”

Darren leaned his hands on the windowsill and dropped his head. “You think I have a chance to make things right with Allison?”

“There’s always a chance to make things right.” Bennett glanced down the hall. Harper still stood sentinel at the top of the staircase.

“Okay. I’ll talk to Alex.”

Bennett pulled his phone out of his back pocket.

“Not right now.” A hint of panic sailed Darren’s voice high.

“You need help right now. Alex can recommend a doctor who understands the military mind-set. You will do everything he recommends. If you don’t, I’ll talk Allison into having you committed on a fifty-one-fifty.” Bennett wasn’t bluffing. He’d hog-tie Darren and put him on a psychiatric hold himself, if necessary.

Bennett punched Alex’s number. A measure of tension bled away when he answered with a clipped “hello” on the second ring. Someone else to help shoulder the burden. The briefest of explanations followed; then Bennett handed the phone to Darren. “You don’t have to hide anything. Alex has heard it all and worse.”

Darren took the phone and sat on the edge of the bed, his voice hoarse and stuttering. Bennett backed out of the room but left the door open. Harper straightened from where she leaned against the wall, full of worry and questions.

He nudged his head and went downstairs. Harper stayed on his heels but didn’t speak until they were in the kitchen. “You’re going to leave him alone?” The fire in her eyes burned into him.

Bennett took the gun from his waistband and laid it on the table with a thud. “Not even loaded.”

“You don’t think he would have gone through with it even if we hadn’t found him?”

The letter against Darren and Allison’s wedding picture flashed in his mind. “Honestly, I don’t know. But I do know he wants help and hopefully Alex can give it to him.”

She cocked her head. “Wounded Warriors?”

“He works with them but also does outreach. His brother was ex–Special Forces and committed suicide.”

“That’s terrible.”

“Yeah.” Bennett rubbed a hand over his jaw and looked at her through his lashes. “Listen, I know you overheard us talking about Noah. And you.”

She rubbed her arm and drew in on herself. “I love you, Bennett, but I can’t live with this secret between us. I thought I could give you time—years even—but I can’t. If that makes me selfish or stupid or whatever, then I guess that’s what I am.”

Everything after “I love you” blurred together. “Wait. What?”

“I said, if you don’t trust me enough to—”

He grabbed her shoulders and squeezed hard enough to get her to look up at him. “You said that you…”

He was a SEAL. Four-letter words were an art form. He could practically carry on a conversation only using four-letter words and their variants. But this particular four-letter word shocked him to the core. It made his bones rattle and his blood sprint through his body at a breakneck, sickening speed.

Harper took his forearms in a tight grip and searched his face. “You don’t look too good. You’d best sit before you pass out.”