The Military Wife (A Heart of a Hero, #1)(11)
The woman’s confession slingshot Harper back nine years to when she was a newlywed struggling to fill the hours in their small town house off base while she looked for a job she wasn’t vastly overqualified for. It had never truly felt like a home. Her framed diplomas from UNC mocked her until she’d taken them off the wall and tucked them into a closet.
“Not terrible,” Harper said. “I felt the same way after I got married. I graduated with honors, but it was hard to find a decent job. If it hadn’t been for Allison, I would’ve lost it.” She had loved Noah, but how long would that have sustained her? He’d died and she’d never had to face up to the answer.
Some women stated their kids kept them plenty busy, but a handful of others agreed with Harper, lamenting the lack of opportunities for military wives to contribute outside of the household. The uncertainties military wives faced were unique, which meant their paths led them off the beaten track. Excitement went hand in hand with frustration.
The meeting wrapped up with hugs and promises to talk soon. While everyone pitched in to clean up, Samantha pulled Allison aside for a quiet conversation that left Allison wiping her eyes.
Once Allison and Harper were alone in the car, Allison pulled out a scrap of paper with a number written on it. “Samantha gave me the number of a group for soldiers that meets on base to talk about their experiences. Sort of like AA except for PTSD.”
“That’s great.”
“I don’t know if Darren will go.”
“You’ll have to work on him until he does, that’s all,” Harper said lightly to counteract the darkness in Allison’s voice.
“You make it sound so easy. Nothing’s been easy since he made it home.” Tears muffled Allison’s words.
If Allison weren’t driving, Harper would snatch her up into a hug. “I know it hasn’t, but if anyone can make it through this, even if you have to drag Darren kicking and screaming with you to the other side, it’s you. It’ll get easier.”
“Doesn’t feel that way.”
“I can’t count the number of times some well-meaning person patted my hand and told me it would get easier. I didn’t believe them, but it turns out, they were right. So now I’m telling you the same thing, knowing it’s true.”
Allison pulled in to their driveway, put the car in park, but left the engine running, the faint drum line from a pop song in the background. She took a deep breath, her face resolute. “I’ll talk to him tonight, and if he doesn’t agree to go, I’ll talk to him tomorrow night and the next and the next.”
“Excellent plan.” They stared toward the house, and Harper gave a little laugh. “Should we make sure the house isn’t destroyed?”
Instead of turning the car off, Allison shifted toward Harper. “Were you serious back there?”
“About what?”
“About being bored and feeling useless when you and Noah were together?”
Harper didn’t detect judgment, only curiosity. “Don’t misunderstand me, I wasn’t unhappy, but I craved something outside of all military, all the time. Things got better after I started volunteering. Then I got pregnant and had something else to focus on.”
“Did you ever tell Noah how you were feeling?”
Guilt pinged. “I tried, but I’m not sure he ever understood. Not really. It was easier to act like everything was perfect. And in lots of ways—the ways that count—they were.”
“I bet lots of wives on base feel like you did. Too bad there’s not an outlet for them beyond volunteering and their kids.” Allison turned the car off and got out. The echo of music faded into silence.
At Allison’s meeting alone, three women expressed the same dissatisfaction. That was a slice of wives in one group and at one base. How many around the Southeast—the country—dealt with the same issues as they crisscrossed the world following their husbands?
Allison hesitated at the front door and shot a quizzical look over her shoulder. Harper got out of the car and stepped into the chaos of the house, the three kids playing tag while Darren was sprawled on the couch and flipping through the channels.
His eyes were red rimmed from lack of sleep, and he gave Allison a kiss on his shuffle to the stairs, disappearing for what Harper assumed was a nap, which would probably lead to a repeat of last night’s wanderings.
Allison only watched him go, but the look on her face was more resolute and less downtrodden than it had been the day before. “I’ll talk to him later. Want to help me get dinner going for the kids?”
After a noisy, fun dinner, Allison sent the kids upstairs to get ready for bed and to finish any homework before heading back to school on Monday.
“I wish you didn’t have to leave so soon.” Allison scooped out chocolate ice cream for their dessert and set the small bowls on the cleared table.
Harper took a spoonful and was cast back more than a decade to her summer job in the ice-cream shop. Bittersweet memories.
“I’m afraid to leave Ben under my mom’s sole influence. She’ll turn him into a socialist, nude-painting, granola-eating tree hugger in a week.” Her exaggeration achieved the intended result when Allison laughed with only a hint of her earlier strain.
“Your mom is incredible.”
“She totally is.” Harper jabbed at her ice cream. “I can’t stop thinking about what you said in the car. About base wives looking for something to do. What if I came up with something?”