The Magnolia Chronicles: Adventures in Modern Dating(78)

"You're not paying me either so I suppose it's a moot point."

"You're making me think twice about doing this in person," he grumbled.

My belly flopped once, then again. I reached across the table and squeezed his hand before pulling back. "Just tell me, Ben. Whatever it is, just tell me."

He traced the stripe of white running down Gronk's head. "When all of this started, with you and me and Rob, I justified it to myself. I told myself we wouldn't have had a connection if Rob was right for you. If you really wanted to be with him."

"Yeah, but I hadn't even met Rob in person back then. Technically, I met you first and—"

Ben held up a hand, his eyelids snapping shut. "Things have changed. That's obvious to everyone. We had different connections for different reasons and that's—that's okay. But things have changed." He ran his hands down Gronk's back, prompting the dog to stretch in his lap. "You showed up in my house in the middle of the night and you saved me. I know you wouldn't tell it that way—"

"Not unless we're talking about saving you from unpermitted construction fines," I added under my breath.

"—but you helped me through the hardest time of my life. Just by being there and kicking my ass and forcing me to do things the right way. I didn't know it was going to be this difficult, and I didn't know I was going to need help but you showed me the way from one point to another. I appreciate that."

"You're welcome." I glanced down at the table and trailed my index finger through the condensation ringing my glass. "What is it you need to say, Ben?"

I watched as a storm cloud drifted over him, quick like summer thunder. It was over just as fast as it rolled in. "I like you. So much. So fuckin' much. You don't take my shit and you know the right thing to say at the worst moments and you're a cool lady when you're not preaching about building codes."

"But?" I prompted.

Here I was, walking straight into rejection. The fear was there, irrational as it was. The anxiety too. But I was ready for this. I welcomed it.

He looked up at me, Gronk cuddled against his chest like a wiggly, squishy shield. "But I'm not for you and you're not for me."

"I know." I nodded, offering a small smile. I prayed my expression wasn't painted with relief. Ben didn't want to see that. "I know."

He pressed his fingers to his temples. "You could've mentioned this before I ripped my guts out and dropped them on the floor in front of you."

"And miss out on this fun? No. Never." I folded my arms over my chest. "Aside from the fun, I didn't want to hurt you. I know how much you're going through and I didn't want to add to that. I didn't want to make things worse for you."

"Oh, right," Ben drawled. "Allowing me to slow-walk myself to that conclusion with the help of a cutthroat teacher was much better. Thanks for that, Gigi. Really, I appreciate it. Thanks."

I leaned forward, clasped my fingers around my glass. "Tell me about this teacher."

Ben ran his hand through his hair, over his scruffy chin. He huffed out a wry chuckle as the inklings of a smile softened his face. It started in his eyes, gradually reaching his lips and pulling them up into a craggy grin. "Is this how it's gonna be with us now? I'm supposed to tell you about my feelings and shit? And I don't even get the benefit of naked showers?"

"Come on, Ben. All showers should be naked," I replied. "But yeah, let's do this. Let's be disgustingly mature and cleave our relationship into two separate and distinct segments."

He gestured toward me. "The shower segment and the not-showering segment?"

I tapped a finger on my chest. "I'm still showering."

"But not with me," he replied.

"It seems like I'm spending a lot of time explaining when and how to wash," I said. "Perhaps you could find a YouTube tutorial for that and leave me out of it."

"I'm just saying, I wouldn't mind a shower with you."

"Here's a small suggestion." I tipped my head toward him. "This person, the cutthroat teacher? I'm confident she won't enjoy these references to bathing with me."

He bobbed his head in solemn agreement. That was, I interpreted it as solemn agreement. The goings-on of Ben's mind still eluded me.

"I can see that," he said eventually.

"About this woman," I said. "I need more details, Brock. Who is she, when did you meet her, how much of your shit does she tolerate?" I ticked off each question on my fingers. "You know, the important details."

"Her name is Grace, and I met her last weekend. She was helping out at that house, the one your friends moved into." He blew out a breath and pressed his palms to his eyes. "I don't know how to explain it," he continued, "but the woman is a villain and I am obsessed with her."

I leaned back, considering this. There were several things I'd expected from a conversation with Ben Brock that terminated our romantic relationship. I'd anticipated his trademark bluster and some request for a sex-on-the-side arrangement. Not that I'd wanted it but I'd also expected him to fight for me, insist I couldn't possibly choose Rob.

None of that involved him announcing he'd met another woman. Not only met another woman but already possessed big, confusing, obsessive feelings for that woman.