The Long Way Home (Corps Security #6)(71)

She has breathed life back into me, and what do I do to repay her love?

I keep a secret from her even larger than before. Hard to believe. I sit here with my family back, making promises together for our future now that we’ve reunited, and I’m keeping a monstrous secret from the woman who gave me the strength to take this chance I’m living right here in my brother’s home. There’s no way I could have done this without her, and for that, I owe her the truth. I can’t let us continue to grow closer to that beautiful future without her knowing it all.

She’s given me my life back.

I look around the room at the faces I never thought I would see again, the son I never imagined, and the woman who owns my heart.

This is what life is about.

Family.

Love.

What am I going to do if she can’t forgive me?

I’m this fucking close to having a life I could never have dreamed of … and without her, I really would be a dead man, even with all of this.

My son laughs at something Olivia says. The rich sound fills the room.

I clear my throat and blink a few times. The emotions too damn thick as they war within me.

The pressure in my chest keeps growing as the night continues and conversations flow. The whole time, I’m too afraid to move far from her, my heart not able to calm without her touch.

Fuck me.

If she doesn’t take what I have to tell her well and I lose her? I’m not sure my newly healed heart can handle that. It will break in a way I know not even this sweet life I’ve been given a second chance at will be able to mend it.

My son laughs again.

My mind goes to Riley, her sweet little giggle and crooked smile.

Zac was that little, and I missed it all.

Every damn step, word, and milestone.

His laughter booms around the room. In my mind, I hear Riley’s echo in with the sound of his. I realize it was Olivia’s sweet giggles when she moves against my side with each one. I have no idea what’s so funny, having been lost in my damn thoughts for too long. It’s hard to think of Zac, easily six and a half feet tall, being as little as Riley was. She’s going to love him, too. Two giants for her to love. Thinking of Riley makes me miss her even more, which is saying a lot. In the months that I’ve been with her aunt, she’s wedged herself a giant spot in my heart.

I look from Zac down to Olivia when her giggles become full belly laughs. I feel my lips tip as I watch her.

Yeah, I definitely want more kids to fill this life I’m going to build with her.

Marriage.

Kids.

I want to see her laugh like this with Zac. With Riley. And whoever we may add to our family there with us.

I want to live, dammit.

Maybe do that for the first time in my life, too.

God, please let her forgive me.

I look back at Zac, his eyes on me, and take a deep breath.

I can’t have come this far to have true and honest happiness ripped from me the second I’ve found it.

Right?





“Faraway Tree” by Boatkeeper



He’s been quiet.

The whole ride back to the hotel was filled with commentary from the sports station he has on the radio. I tried to get a conversation going, but he only muttered some grunts here and there, sticking to silence while he drives. I called Ella to check on Riley, but she had fallen asleep so it was a short call that didn’t help fill the void. We had been having FaceTime calls every morning and night with our little bean, but still I missed her so much. I know Zeke does too. I saw how he was looking at all the kids that have been around our large group here in Georgia.

When we got back, I excused myself to use the bathroom, wanting to give him a moment alone after such a highly emotional day.

Before we left his brother’s house, Zeke made plans to go to lunch with Zac tomorrow.

Zac.

He’s such an incredible human. It’s uncanny to look at him and see so much of Zeke in him. Chelcie and Asher brought some pictures out a few hours into our visit. We sat there, all of us, and looked through the albums. Zeke had been hyper focused on each photo and story. I could have kissed Chelcie and Asher for giving him that. Letting him watch his son grow through the years with each album we looked through.

After that, they pulled out the ones with a younger, wild-looking Zeke. Photo after photo of the man who I’m quickly finding has more layers than an onion.

The “old” him, the one that he was before I knew him … aside from the initial shock of seeing the younger him and not seeing much of a difference in his son. They could have been twins. It’s mind blowing. Not just because they look so similar, but because the Zeke I know now—the one who matches the man in those photos—looks so different from the Drew I knew. Three versions of the same man all so different from the other. Sounds just as confusing as it is to me. I go between sneaking little glimpses at him to full-blown staring.

One of these days, I might get used to how damn handsome he is, but that surely won’t be today.

Secretly, I miss the beard. Though I will never admit that to him. Both shaved or not versions of him are simply perfection. However, I’m really going to miss that little burn I get when he kisses me deep and hard with that beard. Yeah, I’m surely going to miss that. His kisses are five star no matter what, though, so I’ll live.