The Long Way Home (Corps Security #6)(56)

“Where did she go?” I question further, not able to keep from prying even though I have a feeling that his answer will hurt.

“She went home.”

I sit up straighter in my chair and turn around to look at him.

“You don’t mean …”

The sad look in his eyes says it all.

“I do precisely mean that. Right to those horrible people genetics claim are her parents. Don’t worry about anything except the knowledge that her man was the best kind of persistent.”

“Something tells me it wasn’t remotely as smooth as you’re making it sound.”

“Well, life rarely is. Wouldn’t you say, Coopie?”

My eyes close, and I let that stupid fucking nickname wash over me.

“Point is, honey buns, when she left here, there was a void. We all felt it just as heavily as we felt when losing you. She just up and left without trusting her family. Some could say … there’s a few parallels there, hmm?”

“Can’t change the past, Sway,” I grumble a little harsher than I had intended. His words hit hard, his aim true—right to the gut, simmering and burning, just as they were intended to do.

“Not saying you should. What I was hoping you would see is that no matter what her reasons were then and how those of us she left behind felt about it—” He gives me a pointed stare before continuing. “What matters is that she eventually came home, and this family healed a little. We weren’t as solid as we were, but we will be now. Marinate on that, stud. Sounds familiar, darlin’, and I know you see that. There’s a whole hell of a lot to say about getting the missing piece back and feeling that peace when it slides into its spot after being missing for so long. There’s not a lot of room for anger when you’re weeping for joy, falling on the grateful knees you’ve spent all that time praying for a miracle on.”

His words slam into me.

Not softly, either.

He’s wisdom and learning about Emmy eases some of the trepidation I had felt about what’s to come. Solidifying what I thought to be true before leaving Boston—the one that drove me back to Hope Town—I’m not the only one who needs this. I’ve felt that missing piece that losing them left behind. The void and vastness of my family within that spot inside me has burned bright with pain since the day I left them.

I can only imagine what it feels like for them.

They just didn’t know they weren’t praying for something hopeless.

“Now I know you said that man you were was long gone,” he continues. “Honey, I find it pertinent to inform you … that man never left, and he’s most certainly back in focus.”

I shake my head but don’t reply. There’s no need. He isn’t wrong. Each day since I found his note, I felt like I was coming back to the person I thought was gone forever. A person, if I’m honest with myself, I missed more than I ever thought possible.

“Tell me about the rest of them. I need to hear it before I go back to the person I was. I need to know that even though I left them, they eventually were okay.”

He places his hair tools down on that cart and walks around the chair I’m in. When he stands in front of me, he bends his knees and crouches to look into my eyes. Both his hands reach out to take mine into his warm grip. I briefly wonder if it’s comfortable to sit like that on heels that tall, but all other thoughts go out the window when he starts speaking.

“Are you sure you need that?”

“I need it as surely as I need air to breathe.”

“Things weren’t always as golden as they are now for everyone.”

“What is it you just told me? That life rarely is?”

He makes a sound in his throat.

“Please, Sway,” I ask softly.

“Let me keep doing your hair, darlin’. I’ll talk while I cut.”

He stands and grabs his comb and scissors, starting back at my hair before he speaks.

“Your brother struggled to find his footing, at least he did in the beginning. He was lost and he took your death real hard, sweetness. Those men around him didn’t let him stumble, but it was his woman who didn’t let him fall. The first time I saw him hold your son? I knew a big piece of his heart had been repaired. Zac, your boy, he’s incredible. Next best thing to Zac and Chelcie that your brother could have is you … and you’re about to make two Cooper men feel like they’ve been given the biggest gift someone could get in their whole lifetime.”

I swallow thickly at the mention of Zac, choosing to change the subject instead of focusing on it. I betrayed my brother by leaving like I did. I’m not surprised that he stood up and raised him, but I didn’t see him ending up with Zac’s mom. I couldn’t think of anyone else to raise the son I didn’t know about. Hell, he probably did a better job than I could have at that time in my life. He was my hero growing up, and I would never have been able to raise a boy to be as good as I knew he did. “Chelcie is good?”

“She’s absolutely wonderful. They had a second boy, Jaxon. The way Asher tells it, those two are spitting images of both of y’all growing up. Almost the same age gap as you and your brother, too.”

I picture Ash in my mind, and how we were growing up when times were good, they were some of the best moments of my life. Hell, even when they were bad, they weren’t as bad with him there for me. I love that those boys have the bond we did without the harsh life. Those boys, well … men now, they have no idea how lucky they are that they have that gift of each other. I’m thankful as fuck that my brother loves my son as his own. I have no doubt they have a close relationship, and I need to tread carefully. He may be my biological son, but he’s not my son. Something I hope Asher understands. I don’t want to get ahead of myself when I think about Zac. He’s not a child anymore. I missed him becoming the man he is. He doesn’t need me to be his dad, but I hope he lets me in his life.