The Lie(49)

As I’m cupping her face in my hands, she’s digging her hands into my shoulders and kicking the door shut. While my tongue dances with hers, she’s pressing her body against mine. I can feel my erection, thick and hard between us, and my hands slide down the silk of her back to her arse, where I grab and squeeze, feeling more savage by the minute.

We walk, stumbling backward through the unfamiliar hall until I have her back against the wall. My lips go to her neck, licking, tasting her. She feels better on my tongue than I ever imagined, and it’s nearly impossible not to devour her whole while she tastes so sweet.

“Tasha,” I groan into her neck, my hand sliding over her breast as I press myself against her, pinning her to the wall. “I’ve never wanted you more.”

I’ve never wanted anyone more.

She lets out a fluttery sigh, grabbing the back of my neck with her hand, squirming beneath my touch. I pull down the top of her dress, taking her nipple into my mouth and sucking it with one long, hard pull.

“Fuck,” she whimpers, tugging at my hair. “Please don’t stop. Please don’t stop.”

But her urging words make me realize I have to stop. It’s now or never.

I don’t know how, but I manage to pull away. I’m surprised I have any willpower, any brain power left. All my blood is throbbing in my cock and I’m inflamed with the desire to finally have her, here, now, in any way possible.

What little is left of my morals, though, is coming through strong.

“Natasha,” I say, my voice hoarse. I continue to press myself against her, smoothing back the hair from her face, peering at her intently. Her mouth looks bruised, damp, her eyes glazed by lust as she stares back at me. “I love you.”

She seems to melt before my eyes. “You love me?” she asks with soft liquid eyes. “Really?”

I nod and rest my forehead against hers, closing my eyes as I breathe. “Yes. For a while now. Even before you told me.”

“Why didn’t you tell me then?” she whispers.

“Because I’m a coward. And confused. And I don’t know how to do the right thing.”

“Love is the right thing, isn’t it?”

I sigh and pull back, cupping her face in my hands. “I wasn’t sure. But I think I know now. I’m going to ask Miranda for a divorce.”

Her eyes widen. “Really?”

I swallow thickly. “Yes. It’s going to hurt her, I think. At least her pride. But I have to tell her the truth.”

“Don’t tell her about me,” she says with panicked eyes.

“That’s not my plan,” I tell her. “But the truth is that I don’t love her anymore. I’m not sure I ever did. I want to do whatever I can for Hamish, but staying with her is not the answer.”

She studies me for a moment, searching every inch of my face, then smiles. “You love me,” she says softly, perhaps finally believing it.

“I love you,” I whisper, running my thumb over her beautiful lips. “You’ve done something to me, awakened a heart in my soul. You have completely enchanted me, my girl, and I am powerless against you. You’ve taken me from the very start.”

“Kiss me again,” she says.

I gently press my lips against hers and pull back. I let out a deep breath. “Until I tell Miranda, I can’t…”

“I know.” Her fingertips trail over my cheekbone. “I can wait. I’ll do anything for you. You know that, don’t you?”

I give her a wry smile. “Oh, really,” I say, brushing the tip of my nose against hers. “Can you suggest where I should sleep tonight? I have to get up early in the morning for my flight.”

“Sleep here,” she says. I raise my brow and she continues. “Take the couch. I have no flatmates. No one will bug you.”

“And if I want you to bug me?”

“That can very easily be arranged,” she says, wiggling her fingers in my face. “You know how annoying I can be.”

“Hardly,” I tell her.

But it’s still early. To be honest, I don’t think I can sleep at all tonight. I’m flying high and brimming with energy. I’m madly in love with the girl in front of me, and to go to sleep would mean missing out on her face, her words, her touch.

So we go into her tiny kitchen to make a pot of tea, then take a seat on the couch. We stay up until 3am, just talking about everything under the sun, my arm around her as she relaxes into me.

Being with her is as easy as it was before, like we were made for each other, but now we’re on another level, another layer. It feels absolutely right, so much so that I can’t even question it. We discuss hopes, dreams, the future, and though everything is up in the air, she’s not. She’s here with me and I’ve got her.

I’m not letting go now.

When she falls asleep, it’s sudden, a ragdoll in my arms. I pick her up and carry her to her bed, laying her down gently. I watch her for a few moments, my chest warmed by the sight, and then head into her living room to catch a few hours of sleep.

The alarm on my mobile goes off at seven, but Natasha is still sleeping, so I quickly jump in her shower. My flight is at 10:30 and I’ll go straight from Edinburgh airport to the university.

I put on the same clothes from yesterday and start thinking of when to tell Miranda. I might need a few days to work up the courage, but it has to be done. There will be hell to pay, but for Natasha it’s a fire I’ll gladly walk through.