The Last Letter(89)

“What are we?”

“What do you want us to be?” My chest tightened, waiting for her to answer. Whatever she wanted, I’d give her.

“What do you want us to be?” She turned the tables.

Suddenly I saw every discussion over what we’d be having for dinner for the next fifty years. “I want you. I told you that last night.”

“You wanted sex. It’s daylight now, and I’m not holding you to whatever you said last night. And I know this has got to be the most awkward morning-after ever, so I’m sorry, but I don’t have a lot of experience in this department.” She pulled her trembling lip between her teeth.

“I want you. All of you. Trust me, getting to put my hands on you is a pretty big perk, because I’m not sure if anyone told you or not, but you’re incredibly gorgeous. But I want more than a night of you in my bed. Or on the kitchen counter.”

I guess she really could turn a deeper shade of pink. I hadn’t thought it possible.

“So where does that leave us?”

“Well, my day is clear. So I figured we’d pound on the clerk and recorder’s office until they opened on Monday, and then we’d immediately marry.” Her jaw dropped, and I couldn’t help but continue. “Unless you’re more of a hop-a-flight-to-Vegas girl, in which case, I’m down. Then we’re moving to my small yet loyal cult of doomsday followers. I’ve already made preparations for you and the kids in the fallout shelter, where you’ll tend grapes.”

She blinked, her mouth still agape.

“Unless you’d rather be assigned to the goats.” Thank God for all the nights Ryan had made me play poker; I was able to keep a straight face.

“You’re kidding.”

“Yes.” I took her face in my hands.

“Oh, thank God.” Her entire frame relaxed.

“I figured we’d date. Like normal people. Look, you waited for marriage to sleep with your first, so I know what it means to you. And if you wanted to go get married today, I would absolutely—”

“Don’t finish that!” She put her hand over my mouth. “Dating is good. I like dating.”

I kissed her hand, and she let it fall away.

“Okay. Then we’re dating.” My smile was so wide it hurt my cheeks.

“Exclusively,” she said with a nod.

“Twist my arm, why don’t you?” I bent for a kiss, and she stepped back with that don’t-mess-with-me look she was so fond of. “Exclusively,” I agreed. “Ella, there’s a reason I haven’t been with anyone since I came here.”

“Oh, because you’re out of shape and wanted to tone up a little first?” She gave me a mocking head tilt.

“Ha. Because from the moment I saw your face and heard you speak, you were the only one I wanted. You ruined me for anyone else before you ever knew my name.” She’d ruined me from the second she’d said she regretted writing in pen. She’d had every ounce of my soul when I finished that first letter. “Now that I’ve had a night with you, I don’t want only one. I want them all, and I’m willing to take whatever you want to give me.”

She looked torn for a second and then sighed in frustration. “That was really good. I don’t have anything that awesome to say. I just love you.”

I kissed her softly, a simple caress of our lips, because I couldn’t help myself. “That’s the most awesome thing you could have said. Trust me. It’s not something I’m used to hearing.” Or anything I deserved, but I was the asshole who was going to take it.

“What do we tell the kids about us? I know that’s not usual first-date conversation, but we’re not exactly usual.”

“I’ll take my lead from you. Whatever you want to tell them, we’ll tell them.”

She brought her arms around my neck. “Well, I mean, you are their father.”

“Have to say that I love hearing that, too.” Even if it’s just between us. I knew this wouldn’t change the way she felt about keeping the adoption secret, and that was okay. For the first time since I arrived in Telluride, I felt like I had time. Time to win her over, time to earn her trust.

“Okay, we’ll tell them we’re dating. It’s not like we’d be able to hide it around them for long anyway.” She pressed against me.

“And why is that?”

“Because I have no idea how to not kiss you all the time now that I know how incredibly good at it you are.” Her fingers curled in my hair.

“Now look at who’s saying all the awesome things.”

Then I reminded her exactly how good at it I was. Until she stole every thought from my head, and I was once again at her mercy.

…

Were people allowed to be this happy? It seemed almost unnatural to have this as my new normal. I woke up, went to work, had dinner with Ella and the kids, and stole kisses when they weren’t looking.

I hadn’t been lying when I said I could kiss her forever. She was a thousand different kisses in one woman, the soft and tender, the deep and passionate, the hard and desperate. I never knew who I was taking in my arms, and yet they were all Ella.

Everything was Ella.

I’d taken a leap of faith and reserved my cabin indefinitely. Ella had protested the cost, but I’d handed Hailey my credit card with a smile. Indefinitely wasn’t forever, and I’d already found the perfect place to start on something more permanent.