The Last Letter(41)

“A bar?” I let my tone tell her exactly what I thought about that one. That was the life of carefree people who didn’t have responsibilities like kids. Or cancer. Or a kid with cancer. You know, normal twenty-five-year-olds.

“Yes. A bar. Because if anyone could use a drink, it’s you, Ella. And I know Beckett would be up for taking you out.”

My spine stiffened. “We’re not…it’s not like that.” Just the thought of Beckett had a blush rising to my cheeks.

“That man has his eyes on you whenever you’re in the same room. Come on, how many times did he drive back to Denver after Maisie’s surgery?”

I turned away from the mirror to face Hailey. “Three times.”

“In two weeks.”

And every time he’d shown up, my heart had done this stupid, crazy leaping move. Something had changed the day of Maisie’s surgery. Not just because he’d been there, but because I’d wanted him to be. It had been the first time during Maisie’s treatment that I’d allowed myself to not just lean on someone, but let them hold me up.

The morning he’d shown up with Colt as a surprise—about three days after the surgery—I’d just about melted into a puddle of goo. He seemed to know exactly what I needed—what Maisie needed—and provided it before I could even ask for it.

“Yes, in two weeks, but it’s not romantic.”

“Uh-huh.”

“It’s not! He’s here because Ryan asked him to be. That’s it. Nothing more.” At least that’s what I told myself whenever I found those green eyes watching me or me watching him.

“And you don’t find him attractive or anything, right?”

“I…” Dark green eyes the color of pine, thick hair and thicker arms, washboard abs that trailed down to—get a grip. “Of course I do. I’ve seen the man.” And felt him.

I’d felt the protective way he’d held me—tight, but not oppressive, as if he’d simply known that I needed to be held together in that moment. Felt the gentleness of his hands when he’d wiped away my tears after sobbing out everything I’d held in. Felt the joy he was capable of when Colt had climbed into bed next to Maisie and held his sister. Felt the overwhelming capacity for love that he had even if he didn’t want to acknowledge it.

Yeah, I felt entirely too much when it came to Beckett.

“Well, yeah. You’d have to be dead not to notice. Because he’s hot, Ella. And not in a passingly nice kind of way. He’s hot in a take-me-on-the-kitchen-counter-and-let-me-bear-your-children kind of way. Plus, he’s starting to speak in more than one-word answers, which shows definite potential in the moving-past-broody department.”

A flash of something hot and ugly hit my stomach and was gone as quickly as it came. Jealousy. There was no reason to be jealous of Hailey. Sure, she was beautiful, and available, and didn’t have so much baggage attached to her that there was a giant Samsonite tag on her forehead, but the minute we’d come home from Denver, she’d completely stopped seeking out Beckett. And it wasn’t because she wouldn’t be interested. I’d heard the gossip getting coffee yesterday—half of Telluride was interested in the newest Search and Rescue member.

It was because Hailey thought maybe I was interested.

“He has always spoken in more than one-word answers, and I already have children, remember? Besides, speaking of children, if I don’t walk out right now, I’m going to be late for this meeting.”

“Okay. Go. Run. But that man lives next door, and from what I’ve seen, you’re going to have to deal with all that”—she motioned to my red face—“pent-up frustration somehow.”

A guest walked in, the bell ringing with the light tinkling sound that had taken me hours to decide on.

“Saved by the bell,” Hailey whispered before turning to our new guest. “Welcome to Solitude! You must be Mr. Henderson. Your cabin is all ready for you and your wife.” Her smile was wide and mirrored by the hipster-looking twentysomething.

Summer hiking season was almost upon us.

I took my opportunity, and the binder, and escaped out the front door.

It was 10:31 when I pulled in, but I parked in the elementary school’s designated spots like a good parent and took the extra minute hit to my already tardy arrival.

“Ella!” Jennifer smiled out at me through the glass. “They’re all set up for you.”

“Hey, Jennifer.” I signed in on the clipboard and opened the door when the buzzer sounded.

“How is Maisie feeling?” she asked as she walked me into the offices that sat just behind the reception desk.

“She’s good, thank you. Surgery went well, and she’s ready to return to school on Monday.”

“Really? Already? That’s amazing!”

“You’d be shocked to see how quickly kids bounce back, and as long as her levels are good, she’s safe here.”

“I just can’t believe she beat it that quickly!”

Oh, no. I saw that look in her eyes, and I hated to be the one to dash it. “No, Jen. She had the tumor removed, and they got it all, but she’s Stage Four. Her bone marrow is still overwhelmingly cancerous. She just made it through the first step.”

Her face fell. “Oh. I’m sorry. I guess I didn’t understand.”