The Heart Principle (The Kiss Quotient #3)(27)

He sits forward in his chair like he’s a bloodhound who’s caught a scent. “Why do you want to reschedule?”

I shrug and put the printouts in the proper file in my desk drawer. Generally, I’m kind of messy—when I got around to cleaning my apartment the other week, I saw that my dishes really were growing mold; that’s a new level of nasty, even for me—but when it comes to this business, I’m super organized. I keep things alphabetized and color coordinated. My email inbox drops to zero unread at the end of every day. Everything’s paid exactly on time.

“Is it because you don’t want it to be over?” Michael asks. “You’re dragging it out?”

I don’t answer. Because it’s complicated. It’s true that Anna and I have been texting all week, making random observations, sharing funny news articles and cute animal videos and stuff like that. Talking to her fills a space in my life that I didn’t realize was empty, and I’ll be sad to see that end.

But I’m also nervous. I think I know what I need to do the next time we’re together, and I break into a sweat every time I think about it.

“I’m going to ask her about rescheduling while I’m thinking about it,” I say, picking up my phone and texting her the message Hey, can we meet on Sunday night instead of tomorrow?

“So let’s say you guys meet one more time and you finally hook up. What then? It’s over? You never talk to each other again?” he asks.

“That’s what usually happens after a hookup,” I say, but I don’t feel good about it.

Michael starts to comment, but my phone buzzes with a message from Anna. That’s fine.

That’s all she says. There aren’t any emojis, no funny comments. Something’s off.

Are you ok? We can stick to the original time if it’s a problem for you, I tell her.

I’m ok, she replies, and again, that’s it. This isn’t like her.

“I have to call her real quick,” I say out loud, and Michael frowns slightly as he watches me dial her number and put the phone to my ear.

The phone rings so many times that I’m sure it’s going to voice mail, but she finally answers, “Hello?” Her voice has a strange quality to it that puts me on edge.

“Are you really okay? If you want to stick to tomorrow, that’s fine. Or we can cancel or rain-check. Whatever you’re—”

“No, Sunday is fine. I’m fine,” she says, but her voice breaks halfway through the last word.

She’s crying.

The sound stabs straight at my chest, and before I’m completely aware of it, I’m opening my desk drawer and putting my wallet and keys and things in my pockets.

“Where are you?” I ask. There’s noise in the background. Pretty sure she’s outside.

“On my way home,” she says.

“Cross streets?”

“Why do you … Oh. You don’t need to come see me. That’s really nice of you, but I’m okay.” She releases a shaky breath that’s like a mile long. “I see my apartment building. I’ll be home in two minutes.”

“Be right there.”

“Quan—”

I hang up before I can hear the rest of what she says.

Getting up from his chair, Michael asks, “What’s going on?”

“She’s crying. I need to check up on her.”

He nods seriously. On things like this, we get each other one hundred percent.

On my way out, I pause to say, “I’ll let you know about plans for tomorrow. We might need to celebrate later.”

“Don’t worry about it. Go see your woman.” He squeezes my shoulder, and I nod at him once before leaving.

As I’m getting onto my Ducati, however, the significance of what he said hits me. Your woman.

Anna isn’t mine.

But I have to admit I like the sound of that. A lot.





WHEN I GET TO ANNA’S BUILDING, I MANAGE TO CATCH THE door while someone is leaving and run up the three sets of stairs to her apartment. I don’t stop to catch my breath before knocking.

She opens the door, and things move uncomfortably inside me. Her eyes are puffy and red. Her face is blotchy. She looks horrible. But at least she’s in one piece.

“You got here so fast,” she says, looking down the hall behind me with wide eyes like she’s searching for a teleportation device or something. “You didn’t need—”

I take her in my arms and hold her tight, whispering, “I didneed to.”

She’s stiff at first, but slowly relaxes against me with a long, shuddering sigh. When she presses her forehead to my neck, everything that shifted out of place upon seeing her settles back into place.

“What’s wrong? What happened?” I ask.

She’s unresponsive for a long moment before she shakes her head, saying nothing, and my stomach sinks with disappointment. It’s obvious there’s something. It’s also obvious she doesn’t trust me enough to tell me, and that sucks. I tell myself it’s okay. The thing between us isn’t a thing. But my disappointment remains. I want to be someone she can tell things to. With other people, I’m that person—or I used to be, back before I became fragile in their eyes.

After standing with her by the front door for several minutes, I guide her to the couch and sit with her. I don’t know what to do, so I just hold her, sweeping my hand up and down her back.