The Good Luck Charm(77)

“Do you have any idea how horrible it was to grow up thinking I was unwanted and unloved by one of the two people who were supposed to love me unconditionally?”

“I can imagine—”

I cut him off. “No you can’t. Not even a little bit. You can’t imagine what it was like growing up in a house so full of chaos that I was forgotten about most of the time.”

He stiffens, and his fingers curl around the arms of his chair. He seems legitimately shocked and saddened by this revelation. “I’m very sorry, Delilah.”

“I’m not sure I can accept your apology. That damage was done a long time ago. It’s rooted in who I am, and it’s impacted all of my relationships. I don’t know how to forgive that.” As I watch my words sink in, causing fresh pain I share, I realize the truth in what I’ve just said. For the first time I see with real clarity why Ethan’s leaving was so devastating, and why I’ve been so tentative and reluctant to fully embrace this second chance with him—because I’m convinced that no matter what, I’ll lose him again. Deep down I fear his love for me has an expiration date attached to it, like I believed my father’s did.

“I know I may never be able to earn your forgiveness, but don’t take this out on Emery. She’ll be crushed if you don’t want a relationship with her.”

“How much of your version of the truth does she know?”

“I tried to do better the second time around.”

“Well, she loves you and thinks the world of you, so I guess your second family won out, didn’t it?” I blow out a breath, trying to manage the overwhelming anger and shock. “I’d like a relationship with Emery. She’s a good person, and I’d like to know her better.”

“She’ll be happy to hear that.” His smile is eclipsed by his pain, but I won’t own that because I’m not the reason for it in the first place.

My phone buzzes, and I check the message. “I need to go.”

He stands along with me. “Is Carmen here? I’d like to see her.”

I hold up a hand. “I don’t think that’s the best idea right now. It would be better if we arranged something after I’ve had a chance to talk to her. She doesn’t deserve to be blind-sided like I was.”

“Right. Yes. Of course. Should I give you my contact information? We’re staying in Minneapolis for a few days and I’m happy to extend our visit if she needs time to consider it. I hope I’ll have the chance to speak with her.”

“I’ll talk to her and she can decide if that’s something she wants.”

He recites his number, and I add it to my contacts. This whole thing is like an out-of-body experience.

“Delilah.”

I open the door and look over my shoulder. If he tells me he loves me, I may lose it on him. I’ve been pretty reasonable up until this point. I need to get away from him so I can think, process, wrap my head around this.

He stuffs his hands into his pockets. “I wish I’d made different choices.”

“Me, too.”

On my way to the front entrance, I run into Dr. Lovely again. “I was coming to check on you.”

“Wanted to make sure you didn’t have another head trauma on your hands?”

He falls into step beside me. “Something like that. How is your head?”

“Other than sore and full of more crap than I’d care to deal with in the next lifetime, fine. Carmen’s waiting for me in the parking lot, so now I get to tell her we have a half sister we didn’t know about, and our father is in town.”

The automatic doors slide open and we step outside into the crisp afternoon. “How do you think she’ll react?”

“I have no idea. Hopefully she doesn’t faint like I did, or else no one will be able to drive. What’re you doing?” He’s still walking with me. It’s starting to feel a little weird.

“Making sure you get safely to your sister.”

I can’t decide if it’s his medical duty making him so ultra attentive, or if I’m just hypersensitive to it. Carmen’s car is parked at the emergency entrance in the no-parking zone. “She’s right there—I’m good. You can go back to doctoring now.”

He ignores me and strides over to her car, opening the door and ushering me inside. He takes it upon himself to roll my window down from the inside, which is also strange. I buckle myself in while he closes the door and bends down so he can see into the car.

“Hello, Carmen.” He smiles placidly at my sister.

“Noah.”

“Thank you for coming to pick up Lilah. She’s had a bit of a rough afternoon. If there’s any nausea or vomiting, or if the headache gets worse, please call my pager.” He extends his arm through the window, bypassing me to hand his card to my sister.

“Do you have a concussion?” Her eyes are wide, her gaze moving to Dr. Lovely. “Does she have a concussion?”

“It doesn’t appear that way. However, I would prefer not to take any chances with my staff.”

“Right. Okay.”

“Please don’t hesitate to contact me if you have concerns or questions.” She tries to take the card, but he holds on to it, eyes shifting to me. “I’d like an update on how you’re feeling tomorrow, Lilah.”