The Good Luck Charm(17)

“No, but now I’m wishing I’d come to see you in person.”

“Um, yeah. There’s no way I’d be getting changed in front of you. Friends don’t get naked in front of each other.”

“Untrue. You used to run around naked in my backyard all the time.”

“I was six and I was wearing bathing suit bottoms.”

“I think you were seven, actually. Is partial nudity an acceptable compromise? I’m more than happy for you to run around topless in front of me if you want.”

“I’m going to hang up on you.”

“No! Wait. Sorry. I wanted to talk to you about coffee. About getting coffee. With me. Or whatever kind of beverage you’d like to consume with me. What’s your work schedule like? Do you have a free night this week?”

I don’t expect the question, so I flounder. “I’ll need to check my schedule.” That’s a lie. I typically work the same hours every week, and in a few weeks, I’ll have class on Mondays and Wednesdays in addition to yoga, which I already have on Tuesdays. But the flirty conversation and the coffee feel like more than I’m ready for, especially given how much I seem to like the idea.

“I can wait.”

“Can I get back to you about it?”

“It’s just coffee with a friend, Lilah.”

“I know.”

“Am I pushing you too much?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know. You just caught me off guard.”

“What’re you doing tonight?”

“Carmen and I are going for dinner.”

“And after that?”

“I don’t know. Probably reading a book and going to bed.” The butterflies in my stomach are a problem.

“I could come over and you could read to me. Remember when you used to read chemistry textbooks to me in your phone-sex operator voice? I used to love that—not sure it helped me retain much information, though.”

“Ethan.” It’s a warning.

He sighs. “Okay. When you have a chance, let me know what your schedule is. I missed you while I was in Chicago this weekend.”

I close my eyes and bite back a smile. “You’re too much. I’ll talk to you later.”

We seem to be bypassing friends and heading down a road I’m not sure I’m prepared to travel yet, not with so many loose ends and unsaid things hanging between us. I’m terrified that if I let him back into my life, I’m going to fall for him again and he’s going to break my heart a second time.

I pack up the rest of my things, stop at home to take my dog, Merk, for a quick run, and then walk over to meet my sister at our favorite boardwalk restaurant. Mondays we typically have a standing date unless Carmen has to show a house—which happens on occasion since she’s a real estate agent. Although we’ll have to rearrange it once my course starts.

Of my five older siblings, Carmen is the one I’m closest to, in part because she’s only a few years older than I am, and also because our brothers are scattered across the country. One by one they found someone to love and disappeared. The age gap was significant, so I was never close to any of them. They were more like pseudo–absentee fathers, too busy with college and girlfriends to really be bothered with me.

Ever since I was young, I think it was when my father left, I’d been the one to make sure everything was taken care of, that Mom never had to worry about anything. I was always tidying up, making sure there was milk in the fridge and cereal in the cupboard since my brothers were already all but out of the house by then. My memories of them are vague, limited to requests for a ride to the store if we ran out of something important. They didn’t have a lot of time for me, and Ethan’s family became my refuge.

So when I moved into Avery’s condo and she knew I wouldn’t see her as often, my mother decided to go to one of my brothers’, where she could be a grandmother to their children. In some ways it felt like I lost another parent, but I understood why she moved. Besides, I had Avery, and he needed me in much the same way.

“Can you stop looking at your phone for five minutes? You’re worse than a teenager. Who is that, anyway? Wait—” Carmen holds up a finger. “Let me guess. It’s Ethan.”

“He just got home. He’s updating me on Martin.”

She scoffs. “Uh, yeah, that’s, like, the biggest load of bullshit ever in the history of bullshit. You were at the Kases’ this morning, and you talk to Jeannie pretty much every day and have since you were six.”

“He’s been gone a few days. He might see progress we don’t.”

“Still not buying it. So what’s going on there, anyway? Is this a trip down memory lane for you two? Are you going to compare his previous skill set in bed to his skill set now? Do you think he can still go forever? I mean, he’s a professional athlete. That has to translate into a superior bedroom experience.”

“Carm!” I glance around the patio, but the music is loud and the tables closest to us are more concerned with their menus than my sister’s inappropriate, but potentially accurate, hypothesis.

“What? You two used to screw like bunnies.”

“How the hell would you know that?”

“Oh, come on. We were forever getting phone calls from the school that you’d missed second period, which I intercepted—you’re welcome very much. I’m sure you and Ethan used that time to study human biology. Besides, all teenagers screw like bunnies.”